Useless Information

*Photo courtesy of Tom Williams Working III

Our pals at FamousDC kicked off Monday morning with this "handy" photo. Can you name the owner of these hands?

HINT: The reporter attached is one of our favorite Cap Hill journos... but it's not Erin McPike.

Today we begin a new regular feature, a Photo Caption Contest (so original, we know). Drop your photo caption suggestions in the anonymous tips box below (or shoot us an email at fishbowlDC at mediabistro DOT com if you want credit for your brilliance) and we'll publish the winner within a few days. Good luck!

If Christopher Hitchens were to ever storm out of a saloon in order to hunt down an editor who had chopped his prose to pieces all in the name of "word count," we suspect it might look something like this:

(It's actually actor Ray Winstone playing Captain Stanley in the new movie, "The Proposition")

The Most Important Decision You'll Make All Day:

...and since this week was all about Pulitzers raining down upon the Washington Post, we thought we'd share with you the excitement of one (one-time potential DC resident) V.I.P., upon his hearing the news of the Post's Pulitzers: Brad Pitt.

"That's very, very exciting."

Naturally, Pitt hadn't actually read the stories in question (Although, to be fair, it's not the first time that Pitt has gotten excited about things before actually reading them: After all, something has to account for his accepting the lead role in "Meet Joe Black.").

The Post is going smoke-free, Christopher Hitchens be damned! A message from inside the 15th Street headquarters:

"This is to let you know that The Post plans to eliminate the smoking room that is located near the second floor cafeteria in the Northwest Building as of May 15, 2006. This change will make The Post's District of Columbia facility entirely smoke-free, as are The Post's production plants in Springfield and College Park. That space will then be transitioned to other uses. If you smoke, you will be required to smoke outside after the policy becomes effective. We appreciate your understanding.

"If you would like to take this opportunity to kick the habit, the Health Center will arrange for employees to participate in a Smokenders program. If you're interested, please contact XXXXXXXX at extension XXXXX."

Now when the DC smoking ban kicks in and Posties aren't subject to the fumes at the Post Pub across the street, they'll actually live in a smoke-free environment--except for Bob Woodward of course, who loves the smoke and mirrors.

This is a little off our beaten path, but figured it'd be interest to perhaps seven of you: AEI has announced that resident fellow James K. Glassman will take over editing the think tank's magazine this fall, following a "long and successful" editorship by Karl Zinsmeister.

Over the years, Glassman has worked at basically every major news organization based here: He was president of The Atlantic Monthly, publisher of The New Republic, executive editor of the Washingtonian, executive vice president of U.S. News & World Report, and editor of Roll Call, and more recently, founder of the website Tech Central Station.

MediaWeek is out with its annual round-up of the Washington media market, ranging from the dominant local news station (WRC, although WJLA is hot on its heels) to the challenges facing the Washington Post: "It too has experienced circulation erosion like many other metropolitan dailies across the country."

Another nugget: Guess how low the Sunday Wash Times circulation has fallen? Try 39,000 and change.

Interesting, but very wonky reading, we know.

Last week we announced a contest for area media types for a free AvantGuild membership from our mother ship,, mediabistro.com. As Patrick explained, "Here's what you get: Access to a wealth of content, including articles on How to Pitch and Pitching an Agent, and other insider information like our salary survey, industry editorial calendars, transcripts of semars and panels, class discounts and a personal homepage. They also get disounts on health, dental and auto insurance, tax services and books, as well as complete access to our media insider community. It's everything a budding writer needs to be the next Seymour Hersh/John Updike--well, except the talent. You still have to have that."

After carefully considering each entry, we decided that we should award the membership to Joshua Kucera, who turned in a haiku that was exactly wrong. Instead of the standard 5-7-5 meter, he wrote one with 7-6-7. We figured that as he begins his freelance career, he's going to need all the help he can get.

Here's the winning "entry":

So long trade mag drudgery,
Hello jammies--freelance!
I hope I don't eat ramen.

It's too bad that April Fool's fell on a Saturday this year. We would have welcomed the weekday blogospheric/journalistic pranks from our cubicles.

Fortunately, someone has already taken care of the media April Fool's jokes. Bob Hirschfeld has done a great fake mock-up of the place every DC journalist turns to (after FishbowlDC, naturally): Poynter.org's Jim Romenesko column.

"Headlines" include:

• Washington Post.com hires Jeff Gannon as blogger

• Judith Miller blames downfall on theft of strawberries

• Former KR newspapers are auctioned on eBay

Strangest of all is how very possible all these storylines appear to be.

(FishbowlNY captures all the activity at Michael's in NYC on April Fool's Day).