We know they say not to look a gift horse in the mouth. But we’re going to today as we sift through the heaviest TIME-People gift bag to date. And actually, we’re going to also highly praise the picking powers that be as we name the 5 best, 5 weirdest and 5 most useful items in the bag. Let’s get the weirdest over with shall we?

THE WEIRDEST

1. Heavy-ass granola. Seriously, this is what’s weighing down the bag and is going to slip the disc in my back? This stuff is called “Purely Elizabeth” and it’s made with organic quinoa, amaranth + chia (yum). It’s gluten-free, vegan and free of refined sugar. We can hardly wait.

2. GoGo Sequeez apple-grape applesauce on the go. It looks like two very strange, wide, tubes of toothpaste in a burlap bag, only it’s applesauce. Why do I want applesauce on the go? Or the go-go, I should say. Of course it’s gluten, nut and dairy free.

3. NeuroBLISS lightly carbonated drink, astonishingly heavier than the granola. It’s meant to de-stress. They write, “Deadlines have you stressed? On the campaign trail. Covering the economic crisis. It’s not always easy to follow your bliss. But with NeuroBLISS, it’s as simple as taking a sip.” Ingredients: L-theanine, chamomile. They say it “enhances mood and promotes a positive outlook — no matter what’s happening on the Hill.”

4. Happy Socks — maybe some of the ugliest socks you’ve ever seen that you should only wear in the confines of your home. Made in Sweden, they’re apparently popular and sold in “close to 50 countries.” Above all, they’re meant to spread happiness.

5. Jelly Mousse, a natural hair gel that’s supposed to help the “overtired and cranky.” Hey, we’re noticing a theme here. (Says, “takes you from cranky to sweet.”) Ingredients: Alcohol free, Roman Chamomile (I’d try this for this ingredient alone.) In a weird twist, they add a “mommy-tip” which is that this goop can also be used to add volume. Just add a dollop and blow dry.

MOST USEFUL

1. Schick Hydro 5 disposable razors. They look like they’re for men, but a woman could probable get away with using them. We’ll assume the Edge gel shaving cream is a companion item.

2. It’s a tie. USB to mini USB cable and Supersmile whitening toothpaste. We really couldn’t pick on this one, but if there was a gun to my head I’d take the whitening toothpaste.

3. Jason Vitamin E moisturizing cream. The smell is thankfully neutral; the texture, rich and substantial.

4. Sleek, simple metallic slider case for the iPhone5. Durable hardshell construction, complete edge and corner protection. What’s not to like?

5. Hawaiian sunscreen spf 45 by Alba. Smells beachy and wonderful.

And now, the best… Read more

While the Radio/TV Correspondents Dinner is typically a quieter affair than the White House Correspondents Dinner, they’ve stepped up their game this year. The event, which takes place June 5th at the National Building Museum, will be catered by celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse. The RTCA Dinner has traditionally been held in the Washington Convention Center in past years, so it appears they are making an attempt to evolve and reclaim some of the prestige that the WHCD is known for. Let’s hope not too much.

From the release: “All guests will be encouraged to grab their white handkerchiefs, beads, masks and parasols that will be on every table and join in as they swing through the crowd.” They are expecting some 1500 guests — journalists, newsmakers and lawmakers.

Traditional New Orlean’s jazz pianist, Washington DC native and  longtime New Orleans resident John Royen will entertain. They’ll also crown a King or Queen of the Dinner. They’ll be presented with a cape, crown and Jester Staff and asked to lead the crowd to the after-party at the conclusion of the night. We have no idea what this could mean, but they’ll have two Jesters on hand creating mischief throughout the dinner.

The theme will be “Laissez les bons temps rouler ” – Let the Good Times Roll – New Orleans style.” It will feature dancing, masks, beads, although hopefully, no one will have to take their top off to obtain them.

A hush fell over the crowd at Politico‘s Sunday brunch at Robert and Elena Allbritton‘s home as a display of food came crashing to the ground outside under a tent. No one was standing near enough to be responsible, so it doesn’t look like they’ll be adding any guidelines about idiot party tricks at the boss’s house to the next iteration of their office handbook.

Party sources tell us the fallen food was a display of various Asian cuisine — dumplings, etc, that crashed to the floor. “Nobody laughed, it was more like a collective gasp because it was so loud and shattery-sounding in such genteel surroundings,” a party witness told us.

After the display fell, a small phalanx of capable young women with earpieces swarmed and had it taken care of immediately.

Brunch was saved!

Speaking of which, the food is always a highlight: sliders, different kinds of eggs benedict made to order, cones of tuna tartare, an assortment dumplings, lobster tails, crab legs — all kinds of seafood, and an open bar.

Guests spilled out onto the lawn.

According to our party sources, brunch at the Allbrittons was definitely more crowded this year.

All the big Politicos were there… Read more

Three weeks after moving into 529 9th St. in Chinatown, The New Republic officially celebrated its new office space on Friday.

“The convenience of the location played a big part,” Chief Operating Officer Sloan Eddleston told FishbowlDC. The office, which sits over the International Spy Museum, features a newsroom with some 30 computers, a library for reporters seeking a quiet respite and a spacious roof deck with a view of the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery (another selling point).

Eddleston said the space was renovated before the TNR crew could move in and that changes to the office were paid for by the owners of the building. He said TNR has signed a multi-year lease, but declined to say how many years.

Notably, most of the computers in the office are desktop PCs with only two or three Macs. Asked if any of the staffers gripe over who uses which computer, TNR Editor-in-Chief Franklin Foer said no. Actually, most of the computers go unused. “I think you find that most people have laptops,” Foer said, “and they’re working off Macs.”

Foer said it’s “very sweet to be in a place that is our home and will be our home for a long time.” Previously, TNR was taking up shelter in an office sublet by the American Grain Council.

The party featured two fully-stocked open bars and another bar where attendees could sample different liquors. WaPo‘s media reporter Erik Wemple was spotted taking a shot of something dark before heading out onto the deck. Catering included copious amounts of humus and cheese, veggie spreads and an assortment of chips.

Throughout the early evening, Chris Hughes, publisher of TNR, was seen… Read more

Some people are feeling the sting of Tammy Haddad‘s mobster-like tactics this year as emails go unreturned and guests who’ve been attending her White House Correspondents’ Garden Brunch for years are getting the cold shoulder. As the invitation says, the party supports CURE Epilepsy and the Miss America Foundation — no doubt, incredibly worthy causes, especially the first one.

“I’ve been to every one of her parties and I’ve written a check for every one of her fucking charities,” groused one ignored journalist who wasn’t invited this year after being a steadfast guest at the annual party for many years. No explanation offered.

The party, like many in Washington, is a cozy mix of politicians, aides, operatives socialites and journalists. Speaking of charity, last year President Obama‘s then-aide David Axelrod, now an MSNBC Contributor, and his wife, Susan, came to the party. (The Axelrod’s have a daughter who has epilepsy.) Actress Lindsay Lohan, who gets arrested every once in awhile, was there, as was supermodel Elle Macpherson.

“I dropped out of the whole thing when Obama got elected and I began to despise the whole Politico-MSNBC nexus,” said a guest who has attended Tammy’s soirée over the years. “Too ass kissy for me. And the sucking up to Axelrod’s wife? Made me want to puke. I honestly can’t even stand being around it, especially when I think of all the people I genuinely like who I never get to see because I have no time. And I’m hanging out with tools instead? No way.” Read more

Never fear. There’s always an alternative. This year, Politico‘s Senior V.P. of Advertising and Business Development Peter Cherukuri, in lieu of waiting around to be invited to Tammy Haddad‘s brunch, has decided to host his own soirée. He’s calling it a “Startup Brunch” and describes it as a “Pre-White House Correspondents’ Dinner Gather of Geeks, Entrepreneurs, Funders, Dreams and Future Mavens.”

He writes,

Friends,

With the White House Correspondent’s Weekend upon us, Peter Cherukuri would like to invite you to a gathering of smart, interesting people who are the next generation of their industry. Whether you have a startup or dreaming up one, please join for a fun brunch event on Saturday. Invitation attached.

WHAT: Startup Brunch

WHERE: 5101 38th Street, NW

WHEN: This Saturday. April 27. 12pm-3pm.

Celebrating 20 years of randomly choosing screwing over your friends.

(Not their motto, but the one we’re giving it.)

Stay tuned for more on this infamous brunch in the next few days.

Break out your India-themed clothing. The India Embassy is hosting an upcoming concert and that — or business attire — is the recommended frock of the evening.

On April 30, guests are being invited to the India Embassy for the DC Jazz Fishman Young Artist Series, featuring artists such as vocalist Marianne Solivan, pianist Bruce Barth, bassist Matthew Parrish, and percussionist Gregory Hutchinson. Also in attendance will be the B.O.D. of the DC Jazz Festival and Ambassador of India to the U.S. H.E. Nirupama Rao.

Unfortunately, the most famous name on the Board of Directors, Roberta Flack, will not be attending.

If you’re a man, see your clothing options after the jump… Read more

Somewhere, someplace is an archery range with FNC Chief White House Correspondent Ed Henry‘s face as the bull’s-eye.

CQ Roll Call White House Correspondent Steven Dennis let his White House Correspondents’ Association membership lapse. He renewed it, but decisions had been made. The publication isn’t getting all the seats it wants this year. It’s a better deal than some pubs, which got shut out entirely. Still, this year there will be one table for CQ Roll Call. No extra tickets possible. Pretty strange considering CQ Roll Call has purchased tables at the WHCD for the past 20 years. A recent exchange between the publication and Henry, this year’s president of the WHCA and once the HOH writer for Roll Call, made it clear that the answer was no and that the seats had sold out.

We asked CQ Roll Call to comment on the matter.  Read more

Donning a dark suit from the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection, Editor-in-Chief Brett Decker spent much of Monday in a mild state of panic before the big evening launch party. Creating a new publication can do that to a person. So could launching it on the day of a terrorist attack when parts of downtown Washington were in lockdown mode. Still, Rare, the new conservative news outlet banked by Cox Media Group, successfully rolled into town this week with an elegant cocktail party at the Newseum. Guests pass through a gauntlet of drinks, as pictured above. Turnout was high — about 250. The mood was low-key but buzzing with a specialty bourbon drink with honey and lemon and miniature tureens of Butternut Squash soup.

Rare‘s Publisher Leon Levitt was in full mingle mode. “We think there’s an opportunity for a strong conservative voice that’s not mean spirited,” said Levitt, senior veep at Cox. Really, never mean? “I think you can have an edge without being mean,” he replied.

Though Levitt’s clearly on the business side of the operation, he studied journalism at the University of Las Vegas in 1979. Asked what he learned there, he said, “The most important thing is honesty and integrity.” Then he leaped into the state of journalism today. “We have made journalism much more time-starved,” he remarked. “If you can find the 25th hour in someone’s day, you win.”

Soon enough we got down to the business of asking the members of Rare‘s staff to name the rarest thing about themselves. It’s not an easy question — you don’t want to seem like a pompous prick and yet you’d like to think there’s something worth mentioning. As we reported earlier in the week, American Spectator Editor Bob Tyrrell struggled with the question and finally declared he wasn’t a narcissist like ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner and had no response. He told us to bug his wife, Jean, about it. But she slipped away before we could grill her.

The first person we approached, Rare‘s Managing Editor Tabitha Hale, had an easy time with her answer. “I’m a bit of a hippie,” the long wavy hair blonde in the vintage-style low-cut dress said. “I was raised by Dead Heads.” She spent six years in Nashville working in publishing followed by stints at Freedom works and The Franklin Center. With the tattoo “Love” cascading down her left arm, it was clear she wasn’t a typical political Washington type. She told us she has two other tattoos — one, Ephesians 6, 12 and 13 on the top of her foot; the other she wouldn’t initially discuss (our imaginations went to bad places) but ultimately she said it was something tribal on her back.

Anneke Green, a Rare contributor, also didn’t have to think too hard. “I have a motorcycle, an ’86 Rebel 450,” she said. “They only made them for two years.”

Read about more rarities, see who showed up…

Read more