WTF

It’s been a while since we’ve had a reason to write about that bearded weirdo, Dave Hughes, of DCRTV. We brought you the news earlier that Buzzfeed would be opening a DC bureau this summer. It’s been making the rounds. As is standard practice, legitimate media outlets have credited us and linked back to the story. We say legitimate because DCRTV doesn’t mention “FishbowlDC” and failed to link to the piece, but rather to the Buzzfeed homepage. Cute, Dave. Try to be a big boy and give credit where it’s due. Look a little harder for that link next time. Maybe it’s in that dirty beard of yours.

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Hola Fishbowlers. We know that Politico’s Mike Allen has recently taken some time off. We were told that he was off fishing, but when we got Playbook on Tuesday morning, we were afraid that he might have spent time in a mental institution (you know, for locos). This is how Playbook starts out:

Feliz martes por la mañana desde Los Ángeles, donde Playbook está pasando el día después de un viaje escénico por la ruta 49, creada por la fiebre del oro de antaño, cuyo sobrenombre es la ‘Autopista del Mother Lode’, que incluye el pueblo de Rough and Ready:

Jesús puto a Cristo! ¿Mike Allen perdió su mente puto?!?! We were SO confused as to what the hell was going on. Turns out it was just a complicated ruse to sell ad time to Univision within Playbook. After Allen spends the first THREE graphs writing en español, he lets us in on the secret by asking, “Isn’t it confusing when politics doesn’t take place in your preferred language?” Yes, Papi Chulo, it is genuinely confusing when you write in Spanish.

In closing, we’d just like to say quizás debe han despegado un poco más de tiempo antes de volver corriendo y dedicar la apertura de ‘Playbook’ a un idioma extranjero de puto!

Translation? Um, we better not.

(A Sprinkling of Things we Think you Ought to Know…)

Shuster Faces Down Snake – Current TV’s David Shuster was recently on vacation in Morocco and engaged in what would appear to be a stereotypical tourist activity when visiting the area. He posed with a giant cobra. Don’t believe us? He tweeted the following picture as proof. As Shuster notes, handling snakes is nothing new. “Years in DC made this a breeze,” he told FishbowlDC.

Kurtz Self-Pimps Throughout Latest Story – We hardly think it’s breaking news when Newsweek/Daily Beast’s Howard Kurtz uses his pieces to talk about himself. His latest on Walter Cronkite is no exception. It’s an examination of a new biography on Cronkite that claims that Cronkite wasn’t the most ethical of newsmen. There are tantalizing details in the piece, but Kurtz makes sure we know about HIS relationship with Cronkite right up front. He’s barely three graphs in when he tells us, “I got to know Cronkite after his anchoring days as a charming, hard-of-hearing, slightly stodgy spokesman for old-fashioned news values against the encroachment of tabloid entertainment.” Thanks, Howard! We were dying to know your experiences with Cronkite.

SNL Dings Sharpton…  Again – We can’t really blame Saturday Night Live for lampooning MSNBC’s Rev. Al Sharpton. Let’s face it. When you have a subject that consistently churns out unintentionally funny lines with the regularity of Sharpton, why stop? Check out the video below to see Sharpton Lettuce’s take on “JiP Morgan.”

 

Sunday afternoon, news began spreading of the death of Robin Gibb, one of the founding members of the Bee-Gees. MSNBC’s Breaking News Twitter feed screwed the pooch by rushing out the following tweet:

Bee Gees co-founder Robin Gobb dies at 62, family statement says on.msnbc.com/4dpW6f

— msnbc Breaking News (@msnbc_breaking) May 20, 2012

Yes, that’s right. The family statement says that Robin GOBB died. You know? From the legendary band, The Boo-Goos? Thanks, MSNBC! Next thing you know, they’ll be tweeting out that he died from a terminal case of Night Fever.

While that’s a pretty embarrassing typo, they have yet to delete the incorrect tweet or issue a follow-up clarifying their mistake.

As news of the passing of disco legend Donna Summer made the rounds yesterday, we were surprised to receive the following email from the White House Press Office.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 17, 2012

Statement by the President on the Passing of Donna Summer

Michelle and I were saddened to hear about the passing of Donna Summer. A five-time Grammy Award winner, Donna truly was the “Queen of Disco.” Her voice was unforgettable, and the music industry has lost a legend far too soon. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Donna’s family and her dedicated fans.

While it’s not unusual for POTUS to remember celebrities that had an impact on society, he seems to be picking and choosing these days. As we reported earlier, TWT’s Joe Curl famously took Obama to task for not issuing a statement on the passing of Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys. While some might cry racism, I think it might just be that POTUS’s taste in music isn’t as “cool” as everyone makes out. When The Band’s Levon Helm passed away, POTUS was silent. Most recently, when Chuck Brown, the patron saint of go-go music and a God to citizens of Chocolate City, died, POTUS went mute. It’s not that he doesn’t care. It’s just that he’s just being selective about whose death is worth commemorating. When Whitney Houston died of a cocaine overdose, POTUS issued a statement and a prayer for her family. Is there anyone in their right mind who thinks that Donna Summer’s musical achievements rival those of Levon Helm or Adam Yauch? Is POTUS THIS out of touch?

When you try to write about everything and cater to everyone everywhere in every language imaginable, you’re left with a breaking news alert that looks something like this.

In the aftermath of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, many revelers sought comfort in brunch yesterday morning to help heal the wounds from the night before. We have already reported on the institution that is the Thomson Reuters/McLaughlin annual brunch. Meanwhile, a relative newcomer to the WHCD brunch crowd, the Allbritton Garden Brunch, was taking place at the Georgetown home of Politico publisher, Robert Allbritton. We’d really LOVE to bring you a recap of that event. But, we weren’t invited. While it’s not necessarily a stinging snub as not even all of their own reporters get to go and they make it a point to have it covered (if you can even call it coverage) by their own reporter, insult was added to injury when Politico had the balls to send us a press release with pictures and a rundown of the event. Gee, how thoughtful of them. Here is how they helpfully described the event.

“For the third consecutive year, POLITICO Publisher Robert Allbritton and his wife, Dr. Elena Allbritton, opened the doors of their Georgetown home on the Sunday following the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner for an exclusive, invitation-only brunch. Roughly 250 were in attendence enjoying a menu of baby Colorado lamp chops, kobe beef hashcake with poached egg, heirloom apple and endive salad, Hong Kong steamed salmon, greek yogurt parfaits and a raw bar.”

That kobe beef hashcake sure sounds mouthwatering. So does the Hong Kong steamed salmon they must have had flown in fresh for the morning. But since we weren’t invited, we can only bring you what WE THINK went down at this exclusive garden brunch.

• Charlie Mahtesian frantically scribbling the “5 Lessons From the Allbritton Garden Brunch.”

• Politico‘s newest hire, Ryan Kearney, trying to convince everyone that he’s not nearly as creepy as he seems and that his work has vastly improved since Allbritton’s essentially failed venture TBD.

• FNC’s Bret Baier having to convince everyone that he wasn’t a villainous coke dealer from a Miami Vice episode wearing the outfit pictured above. We dig the low-cut look on his peach button-down.

• Bret Baier’s wife (also pictured above) turning down autograph seekers thinking she was Kim Kardashian or Cher.

• Mike Allen staring into his Blackberry with the intensity of a thousand fiery suns.

• Jonathan Martin and Maggie Haberman breaking out into an impromptu Politico LIVE show. Kind of like a show-and-tell for the Allbrittons.

• BuzzFeed‘s Ben Smith, in town for the weekend, snapping pictures using Japanese Instagram.

So, while we weren’t actually there to bring you a full report, we have a feeling this was pretty close to reality.

Since there were no injuries, you are allowed to laugh. What did he think this was, a Chick-fil-A?

“Man traveling north on Old Branch Ave looses control and slams into house. No serious injuries.” — Megan McGrath, morning show reporter for NBC4.

We brought you the news yesterday of Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.) dressing up in an award-winning peach getup for what she had to think was a casting call for “Toddlers and Tiaras.” Then she went on MSNBC to discuss the killing of Trayvon Martin, who lived in her district.

Today she’s back on TV dressed in all black with a sparkling black cowboy hat. We’d suggest that she hire an emergency fashion consultant, but why? We can’t wait to see what’s next.

 

We’re not fashion consultants, but we might as well be because we have no idea what in the world Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.) was thinking when she woke up this morning, got dressed and pulled this crazy ass ensemble out of her closet. Is it Halloween? Was she going for a peachy cowgirl look? And what is that giant peach octopus doing on the left side of her blazer?

Of course, the topic during her morning MSNBC appearance was deadly serious as Trayvon Martin lived in her district. Her fashion failure only serves to strip her message. “It was a not a shock to me,” she said of Trayvon’s death. “I have seen it happen over and over again and it’s a conversation that must never end. We must talk about it. We must educate our young boys. We must talk to police officers. We must educate them, because there is this natural tension between black boys and the police. It is not a perceived tension. That tension exists and we need to find ways to calm that tension because it always leads to trouble.”

Good message Frederica. Very questionable attire.