What would Washington be like if there were no print reporters? That was Thursday night’s episode of ABC’s political drama “Scandal,” the show that has some Washington journalists sitting on the edge of their seats.

Crisis manager Olivia Pope is up to her usual routine — handling everyone elses’ chaos while managing her own. She’s called in to take on a case involving a woman who had an affair with a married Supreme Court nominee. Press is staked outside the woman’s home, waiting for her, her husband or her children to step out so they can ambush them with questions and flashbulbs.

Pope pulls up in a car outside the home just before 9 p.m. She “cleverly” waits until the top of the hour to exit the vehicle and enter the home because presumable at that point, it’s prime time and reporters will be too busy shooting their live shots to notice. None will be free to approach with questions. Pope slips past the preoccupied press without a hitch.

But wait. Broadcast journalists would understandably be busy. But where are all the devious bloggers and shrewd print people?

When news of Gen. David Petraeus‘ affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell emerged last year, broadcast reporters staked out her brother’s home, where she was said to be staying. But there were also reporters from Politico, WaPo, the New York Post and the Daily News, all print. WaPo‘s Emily Wax even wrote a story about it.

Here’s how things would go down in real life… Read more

Quotes of the Day — the Oscar edition

Oscar coverage, attendance

“I just used a port-a-potty while wearing a tux. #glamour#oscars” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

“I love that my ticket for the Oscars tonight specifies ‘formal’ attire.” — Garance Franke-Ruta, senior editor, The Atlantic, whose work in ACT UP, the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, was made into an Oscar-nominated documentary, “How to Survive a Plague.”

Editor dreads need for reading glasses

“Getting gray hair didn’t bother me. Hitting 40 was no big deal. But new realization that reading glasses are necessary isn’t sitting well.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

Sighting: rapper at DCA

“SPOTTED – @2chainz at DCA Washington Reagan National Airport this morning #DMV” — Marky Mark, a.k.a. Mark Wilkins, DC Celebrity. 2 Chainz’ real name is Tauheed Epps. His previous nickname was Tity Boi.

Dana Perino: a slave to travel size products

“Very glad to have found @3floz - products to save a woman traveler’s life. Take THAT airport security lines!” — FNC’s Dana Perino.

“On our way to the Oscars.” – Former Rep. Dennis Kucinich, with wife, Elizabeth.

D.C. Oscar Observers

• “Reese Witherspoon says she let her 13-year-old pick out her dress. It shows.” — Roll Call’s Meredith Shiner.

• “Seacrest, you really don’t need to stoop down to talk to Little Q.” — Conservative freelancer Lisa De Pasquale.

• “I know everyone loves her… but every time Kerry Washington opens her mouth and I’m watching, I swear I lose brain cells.” — D.C. socialite Katherine Kennedy.

• “It is now time for me to turn off and stow electronic devices. BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE WHAT ANNE HATHAWAY IS WEARING? Ugh.” — The Daily Caller‘s Taylor Bigler.

• “Somebody get a box for Ryan Seacrest to stand on.” — Paul Brandus, of West Wing Reports and a columnist for The Week.

• “Whoever is pregnant lady in the black lace cap sleeve dress, it suits you vvery nicely. you are w/channiing tatum who suits well too. #Oscar.” — NPR’s Kitty Eisele.

• “OMG, Beasts of the Southern Wild won’t win because it’s too good to win, too good for this world!” — NYT‘s Jonathan Weisman.

• “John Travolta introducing the muscials tribute is pretty gay.” — BuzzFeed‘s Chris Geidner.

Splish Splash…“Just gave the one-week-old a bath. To thank me, she drenched me with urine.” — BuzzFeed Political Editor McKay Coppins.

Um, use the rear entrance

“TONIGHT: Fashion Industry Sunday Party in DC at Huxley w/sexy deep house and live sax. Open bar 8-9pm! Use rear entrance, knock twice!” — Real Housewives of D.C.’s favorite stylist Paul Wharton.

D.C. journo finds a new pet peeve and more D.C. scribes offer Oscar observations, some are even worth reading… Read more

D.C. pap Mark Wilkins (a.k.a Marky Mark) and Washington Examiner gossip columnist Nikki Schwab have had their differences in the past. He calls her out on the occasional factual errors in her reporting. She calls him “rotund.” And so it goes.

But Valentine’s Day is about letting out the love. It’s never too late to mend old wounds. Today, FishbowlDC proposes that Schwab and Wilkins bury the hatchet. At least for the next 24 hours. To mark this special time in their lives, we’ve mixed their virtual DNA to create a love child, who we’ve named Mary. We even did her hair.

Now and again local D.C. paparazzo Mark Wilkins (aka Marky Mark on Twitter) can be seen tweaking Nikki Schwab, who writes the Washington Examiner‘s “Yeas and Nays” gossip column.

Wilkins was at it today. “FAIL FAIL FAIL – AGAIN Nikki Schwab wrote a piece saying the Children’s Inaugural Concert 2013 was NOT HAPPENING, WRONG,” he snapped today on Twitter. Schwab had written a report saying a concert planned for President Obama‘s re-inauguration wasn’t happening. The concert is reportedly on schedule to take place. (We were unable to locate Schwab’s report that the concert wasn’t happening. It may have been deleted.)

“Literacy fail. It is indeed happening,” a forthcoming Schwab replied to Wilkins.

Previously… Read more

There may be a scant few of them compared to LA and New York, but Washington has paparazzi too. And they’ll be wanting to be  at the top of their game this weekend at the WHCD.

WaPo magazine’s cover story this past weekend by wealth, class and income reporter Annie Gowen predominately features Colin Drummond, who once shot images of Oprah’s feet when she came to Washington to speak at a graduation. Which ordinarily wouldn’t be a big deal, except the picture showed her to have six toes. One picture reeled in $50,000.

As the story goes, after Six-Toed Oprah, life went uphill for Drummond, as every brush with the Queen of Talk tends to do.

But being paparazzi in Washington can have its nasty nothing moments. Like the time that Drummond interviewed Martin Sheen. In the process of not wanting to immediately ask about trainwreck son, Charlie, too quickly, he lost his chance. Instead he wound up with bland footage about the White House. “It’s covered in white paint,” Sheen told him before handlers quickly yanked him away.

In Nov. 2010, Politico‘s Patrick Gavin also wrote a story on D.C. paparazzi. In it, he discusses Drummond along with others like Mark Wilkins, who had coffee thrown in his face by Shia LaBeouf, and Chris Connor.

“Jackpot” shots for Drummond include the “three B’s: a baby a boyfriend or a bikini.”

This weekend, the WaPo story reports, will be big for Drummond at the WHCD. But also competitive. This year more than 100 photographers have signed on to cover Washington’s prom. That number has doubled since 2008.