The Hollywood Reporter is kicking off USC-UCLA week by publishing a story in this week’s print edition looking at the crosstown collegiate rivalry through the eyes of Hollywood.

In the piece, Saturday Night Live alums Will Forte (UCLA) and Will Ferrell (USC) managed to get their digs in at each other’s school:

UCLA GRAD WILL FORTE:
“I don’t really associate with USC fans. A certain type of person goes there — they aren’t good people. They’re very entitled, the type of person that will not hold the door for an old woman. They’ll intentionally walk a blind person into traffic. That’s what you’re working with at that school.”

USC GRAD WILL FERRELL RESPONDS:
“It’s funny — ever since USC surpassed UCLA in the U.S. News & World Report rankings, there’s been an edginess among the Bruin faithful. We have always maintained athletic dominance, and now that we have academic superiority, you just feel sorry for people who have anything to do with UCLA.”

I would love to see a friendly wager between Forte and Ferrell, even though UCLA has defeated USC in football just once since 1999 — back when SNL was actually halfway funny.