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Media Minutiae

End Tweet | News Porn | Smart Stewart

Twitter logo GAllTwitter: If you work at Twitter, you quit on Twitter.

TVSpy: Speaking of Twitter, another news station used the site to send out porn. The station claimed their account was “hacked,” which is just another way of saying “Sorry for looking at porn at work again.”

FishbowlDC: NBC wanted Jon Stewart to host Meet The Press. Stewart — proving once again that he’s a smart dude —  said no.

Two Prizes | Nightly Worries | Picturing Words

sarah silverman GAgencySpy: Sarah Silverman wants equal pay for women, and if that doesn’t happen, she wants a penis. Can’t fault this logic.

TVNewser: NBC is really worried about Nightly News. Please inform any old person you know.

AllFacebook: Captions are now included with embedded Instagrams. Sadly, this means it might be time to finally learn how to spell.

Mind the Link | Happy Day | Shine Bright

TVSpy: A Memphis CBS affiliate meant to tweet a link to its weather radar. Instead, it sent out a link to a porn site. Cloudy with a 100 percent chance of butts.

TVNewser: Fox News turns 18 today. It plans on celebrating by telling viewers it only turned 8.

AgencySpy: Jimmy Dean still uses its sun character in ads. We knew you were wondering.

Eat Up | More Money | Spellbound

PRNewser: Subway’s new ad is stupid, lazy and sexist. But don’t forget what’s important — the chain’s food tastes like garbage.

AllFacebook: Sheryl Sandberg sold 283,334 shares of Facebook. We did the math, and that works out to about “a lot more money than you have.”

GalleyCat: Good news for kids and nerdy adults — J.K. Rowling is working on a screenplay.

Thanks Joe | Spreading the Cheer | Bad Fox

Joe Biden G

FishbowlDC: Video of Joe Biden asking a Harvard student “Isn’t that a bitch?” is how we had hoped to start our weekend.

GalleyCat: Nothing says “Happy holidays!” like a movie about a sniper.

TVNewser: Breaking — President Obama does not enjoy Fox News.

Always The Same | Some Fan | New Bite

Adam Sandler GPRNewser: In case you were wondering if Adam Sandler is still an idiot, he said this in a press release — “I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only…. Netflix rhymes with wet chicks.”

TVNewser: Willie Geist asked Brian Williams which NWA member he liked best, and Williams dodged the question. Conspiracy!

AgencySpy: Ritz — everyone’s favorite cracker before they discover real crackers — has a new creative agency.

Late Delivery | Book Smarts | Two Winners

USPS logo GPRNewser: The post office has reached an agreement with Amazon to deliver groceries. The post office apologizes in advance for all of your produce being rotten.

GalleyCat: In an effort to make you depressed, The National Book Foundation has honored five authors under 35 years old.

TVNewser: PBS and CBS News were the big winners at the News and Documentary Emmys.

Facing the Beach | Fight On | Calling Mr. President

Mark Zuckerberg GAllFacebook: Mark Zuckerberg and his wife have purchased a 357-acre beachfront estate for $66 million. Somehow, this made checking Facebook today a little less fun.

TVNewser: Bill O’Reilly said “Mr. Colbert and others of his ilk have no bleeping clue how to fight the Jihad,” which is news to us. Now what are we going to do?

FishbowlDC: George H.W. Bush is a joke maker.

Locked Up | Vale Knows Something | Parker Deals

Twitter logo GAllTwitter: A “campaign of hatred” sure seems like a jailable offense to us.

TVNewser: Savannah Guthrie introduced her baby Vale to the Today hosts. Vale pooped while Matt Lauer was holding her. Read into that what you will.

GalleyCat: Mary Louise-Parker is going to write a memoir. It will not be about selling ganja.

Respected Man | Happy Snap | Same Difference

OliverTVNewser: Conservatives will love this — John Oliver is a journalist.

SocialTimes: Celebrate Snapchat’s third anniversary by sending a creepy message to a stranger!

TVSpy: Today we learned that Peonies are not the same thing as panties.