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Archives: April 2005

Trite First-Person Dating Column of the Week

Tough call this time around. The ‘Getting Personal’ column in the LA Times Thursday Calendar section is about lusting after guys who know how to use a computer. ($ required for access, but not for long, I hear, as the divisive Calendarlive Wall may be torn down within a few weeks.) Meanwhile, the Jewish Journal looks at Icebreakers, two women who hire themselves out to hang out with guys in bars and help them meet women.

Granted, this is hardly a scoop, as the LAT Calendar section took an lengthy look at Icebreakers in its Valentine’s Day special issue. But I’m giving the nod to the Jewish Journal this week anyway, if only for this cliche-ridden paragraph:

Suddenly these two action females, ravaging the basic hunter-gatherer foundation of our existence, set out. But putting theory into practice can suddenly feel even more awkward than where one’s usual self-loathing and loneliness usually leads. (I’m thinking of the shy computerized nice Jewish boy staring at screens all day. Not me.) Remember when cousin Moishe or Manny would just introduce you to someone from the neighborhood? Well, old school is out.

Jayson Blair, still casting blame elsewhere

Folio Magazine’s Dylan Stableford uncovers fabricator/journalistic pariah Jayson Blair’s latest gig: a column for “BP Hope” magazine, a publication serving the 2.5 million Americans afflicted with bipolar disorder.

In the column, Blair cops to having the condition and describes the pressures of “trying to accomplish my job” (and, according to Stableford, a recovery that includes “medication and speaking engagements”).

“Like Icarus, I soared like an eagle,” Blair writes, “but fell with a shattered wing.” Actually, Icarus fell to earth with a melted wing but why quibble over details? We know you won’t.

Sploid: Shift Memos, 2-gether 4-ever

Great news for Sploid shift-memo junkies: Sploid now comes complete with archives! This means that you can find your favorite free-associative, vodka-fueled, crack-laden, shed-clearing, debt-ridden, pig-lauding, Togo-loving, through-the-wildflowers-prancing, Fox-bashing, Pope-Ratzing shift memos right here, free of charge and as ramblingly sleep-deprived as the day we fell for them.

Celebrites Are Just Like John le Carre Characters!

LA.COMfidential notices that both Lohan and Hilton are smoking out moles in their entourages via a technique which will be familiar to lovers of espionage fiction:

Is it just us or is Lindsay Lohan morphing into Paris Hilton? Not only has she lightened her hair and dieted off her curvy figure, but Lindsay is talking a lot like Paris as well. According to Page Six, Lindsay told Teen Vogue this month:

I recently ended a close friendship because of stuff that was getting out. Sometimes, I’ll tell people in my life something completely out of this world-that could never be true-and then I’ll see it in the tabloids. That’s how you find out who you can trust.

In February, Paris said almost the same thing to Jane magazine:

I test out friends sometimes…I’ll say something that’s totally not true, ’cause I think they’re calling Page Six every night. I’ll say something like ‘I was in Paris last week.’ And if that story appears, I’ll just freeze them out. I’ll never call them. I’ll never talk to them.

Banal Celebrity Profile of the Week

cher.jpgIn the inaugural installment of this new weekly FishbowlLA feature, I offer you the cover story on Cher in gay-interest biweekly In Los Angeles. (Weird that literally the first time in my life I pick up a gay-oriented magazine, the cover story is on Cher. Coincidence, or are all the cover stories in the gay press on Cher?)

Highlight of the piece is the last sentence:

For a crash course in what it really takes to make it in the world, however, Cher, we’ve got you, babe.

Beverly Hills Courier’s Rambling Rabbi

Another look at the Beverly Hills Courier, the newspaper which makes Beverly Hills 213 look like The Economist. Columnist Rabbi Jacob Pressman takes a look at those wacky things called newspaper ads. I was brought up not to make fun of rabbis, so I’m just going to excerpt:

So I spread out some pages of the Times on our den floor, and was struck by something. No, it wasn’t by my fastidious wife. It was by pages B8 and B9, with a special heading: “Business and Professional Service Directory.”

“Ah,” I thought, “this inform me which trades need to advertise and what it is people want”

Here are some of the ads I found. . Accounting, only two small ads.

Advertising, only one small ad. Air Quality , only one small ad. (You would think breathing good air is important.) Antiques: four ads. (Obviously very important.) Air Conditioning, three ads. Attorneys, 37, mostly very large!


The end of the column could really come straight from The Onion:

My friends, nothing compares with the pages and pages of advertisements one can find in the Sunday Times. They cover more space than the Manhattan “Gates,” and are far more educational…

Above all they are the front line of the defenses of our liberty. It is called: FREEDOM OF THE PRESS.

And for the latest really important information, read my column in The Courier!

Note: According to his bio at the website of Temple Beth Am, where he is Rabbi emeritus, Pressman was named ‘Funniest Rabbi in Los Angeles’ in 1995.

Greg Gutfeld: Just a tiny scrap of fabric away from the NY Racquet and Tennis Club

Hey, Big Ben.jpgOh, my goodness. As if the naked man-swimming wasn’t enough, A.J. Daulerio of the Black Table has a no-holds barred interview with infamous Dennis Publishing bad boy Greg Gutfeld former Stuff EIC and current Maxim UK EIC. I’m not even going to attempt to summarize it, if you know Greg Gutfeld (or A.J. Daulerio, for that matter), you’ve got a pretty good idea what you’re in for.

Meanwhile, I feel dirty for despoiling our pretty, wholesome little site with the Black Table’s photo – but if you must, wallow in the filth of a higher-resolution version after the jump.

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Media Miscellany: 04.28.2005

Newsweek gets this newfangled web thing: Perhaps taking advice from BusinessWeek, this week Newsweek launched “Street Fighting”, a web-only business column by business scribe Charles Gasparino. In its maiden voyage, Gasparino continues to expound on the Langone NYSE bid, no doubt to the delight of the WSJ.

But, boy, do they know blogs! Speaking of the Langone bid – a tipster points out that “Business Week totally missed out on the NYSE story, even though it happened on its time–just before Wednesday deadline. The magazine’s Wall Street staff is so embarassingly short-handed that they could only rustle up a brief in the “In Business This Week” column–on one of the most important stories to come out of Wall Street in years.” (Ed.- probably from a Forbes editor, but nonetheless…)

The NYT is Koppelicious; Koppel is Murrow-tastic: The NYT reports (presumably gleefully) that they won five Overseas Press Club awards, “the most any media organization has received in a single year.” Ted Koppel, meanwhile, was awarded his 10th award — a record which surpasses CBS legend Edward R. Murrow who had earned nine. Sorry about the heading but this was, like, the driest entry ever and I really just wanted an excuse to write “Koppelicious.”

Rent, LA Style

nikki-finke.jpgIs it my imagination or did the LA Weekly just publish a compelling special issue? Highlights of the look at the apartment building landscape of Los Angeles include a profiles of: a celebrity hanger-on and his model-centric demi-monde, a building inhabited by artsy demi-monde types, another building, uh formerly inhabited by artsy demi-monde types, and a straight guy living in the gay West Hollywood demi-monde. In short, lots and lots of demi-mondes. Oh, and Nikki Finke pitches in with a guide to apartments once inhabited by famous Old Hollywood types.

Speaking of darling Nikki, the current winning entry to the FishbowlLA Draw Nikki Finke Contest is pictured above. Congratulations to John Doe #1. Keep the entries coming.

Us Weekly vs. Star Magazine: Glass houses, big stones

Us and them.jpgMore on the Brad/Angelina photo kerfuffle! Us Weekly, which paid somewhere between half a mil and a million bucks for the intimate Brad-and-Angelina-just-like-to-hang-in-Kenya pics, is irked at Star Magazine (and former Us EIC) Bonnie Fuller for slapping a composite photo on Star’s cover which makes it look like Brad and Angelina are together on the beach. Tricky Bonnie!

Us Weekly editor Janice Min isn’t so impressed. “Trust for readers is very important,” sniffs Min to Keith Kelly in the New York Post. And then to Mediaweek: “It’s tough when other publications do things your publication would never venture to do.”

Fair enough, Janice – except when your publication did the exact same thing for the April 18, 2005 edition. That cover featured what looked like Brad smiling at Angelina, sized perfectly with a well-matched background. Celebrity magazines – they’re just like each other!

Undoctored photo evidence after the jump.

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