If you’re a subscriber to Esquire and GQ like us, your upcoming March issues are going to look a lot alike. No, we don’t mean all the expensive stuff that you want but can’t afford. Both Esquire and GQ have articles about the crazy Zanesville, Ohio, exotic animal massacre in their next issues. Esquire’s is written by Chris Jones, GQ’s by Chris Heath.

Normally we’d be opposed to this, but the subject matter is worthy of the treatment. Now instead of one take on it, you can get two. Feel free to compare and contrast them because they’re both online now, prior to the print editions. Then let us know which one you enjoyed more.

Just don’t post a link to Tsovet’s race car watch. We wanted it badly — and were quite prepared to sell our bodies [Editor's note: Okay, maybe just my body] on the street for one — but they’ve already sold out. Maybe it was for the best, but the pain is still very real.