David Rees, Amy Sedaris, and Ed Park were among the featured humor writers at Thursday night's reading for the Brooklyn Independents Literary Series, a string of events organized by some of the borough's coolest independent publishers and literary magazines. GalleyCat correspondents Amanda ReCupido and Tracy Bova managed to get into the Brooklyn Public Library's auditorium just before it was declared full, and they sent in a report explaining how Rees presided over the evening, entertaining the crowd with tales of how he was knocked over by a fighting cock in his first apartment in Brooklyn (which had no windows and was floors away from a running brothel, as any first apartment in Brooklyn should be), and precisely how to achieve "The Poor Man's Mitt Romney" hair style: "Step 1: Never cut the top of the hair," they recall. "Step 2: Only shampoo the sides. Step 3: Put on a tight wool cap for several hours. Upon removal, sweep hair on top to the side. Step 4: Propose ban on gay marriage through amendment to keep America from becoming the France of the 21st century... er, lather, rinse, repeat."

"Park was the first to read with an excerpt from his forthcoming novel, Personal Days," they continue. "The novel is made up of short chapters about eccentric office peers who create their own folktales, among our personal favorites being: 'If you feel a tingle in your fingers, someone is Googling you.'

"Gary Shteyngart read next from Absurdistan—a story of a fat man who single-handedly destroys a small country. Quoth the author of reading in Kings County: 'I've read in Brooklyn 17 times before and I've been humiliated every time.' (Hmmm; might choosing explicit masturbatory excerpts be the cause? No matter, the audience's reaction ensured that the 18th time was certainly the charm.)"

"'Son-of-a-bitch but good writer' Anthony Winkler read from The Duppy, in which his main character dies in the book's first sentence and comes back as a 'duppy,' a Jamaican ghost, proving yet again that death and humor oft go hand in hand. And, finally, Ms. Sedaris rapped her wit regarding everything from Valentines (she uses poultry shears to cut hers: Be mine, and beware of salmonella), to Astoria ('I like to get my Greek things there'), to the best ways to snoop in your guest's belongings at parties (Hint: beware of marbles falling out of the medicine cabinet) and how to approach the subject of a friend enjoying Lenny Kravitz's music ('I would probably just have him killed. I've been into Oz lately, so I've become exceedingly violent').

"We also learned an interesting thing or two about Martha Stewart. Apparently 'he' hoards all the food leftover in the kitchens on Friday and takes it home, and 'he' has panty lines. We also wonder if 'he' would be impressed by Ms. Sedaris' infamous cupcakes (which you can get for just $2!!), or think that the reference to 'him' using male pronouns was a 'good thing' (our guess is no). But with all of Amy's mad crafts skillz, Mr. Martha might just have herself some competition (do we sense another battle of Oprah vs. Ellen proportions?? God, we hope so!)."