We usually like to make you smile on Fridays, but I’m afraid the only smile this new musical Mercedes ad will bring to your face is the Oh-God-I’m-So-Uncomfortable-Please-Make-it-Stop kind.

The new Mercedes-Benz Service Song, sung from the point of view of a Mercedes car in desperate need of the sort of…um…handling that only a Mercedes repairman can provide, features lyrics like: “I like them to be strong, that they can catch me when I skid/Like them to turn me on, I thought that some of them did/But just as I needed a helping hand, so many men were ‘out of service,’ not like you … You only give your best, won’t stop until I smile.”

Oh, and in the 5-minute extended version (yeah, that exists AND we listened to the whole thing) nearly a full 30 seconds is dedicated to throaty, over-the-top “oh yeah’s.”

The atrociously cheesy, over-wrought song is accompanied by an equally terrible video, chock full of overly-Photoshopped images of heroic mechanics, smiling families and glistening sunsets. It seems the ad is trying to be nostalgic, sexy and epic all at once, and failing miserably on all counts. Read more

MWW announced that Elizabeth Lowery has joined the firm as a senior vice president in its Washington, D.C. office. Lowery brings extensive expertise in finance, fundraising and public affairs, including posts as deputy national finance director for Obama for America and finance director for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC). In her new role at MWW, Lowery will provide strategic counsel to the firm’s clients and will help advance the firm’s overall work in Washington, D.C. and throughout the nation. (Release)

Former “The Daily Show” executive producer and head writer David Javerbaum is joining Fusion as executive producer. He will lead development of an instrumental part of their primetime programming. He’ll be based in Los Angeles and oversee content for all our West Coast programs, including the nightly show anchored by Leon Krauze and new programming concepts he’ll help develop. David – aka DJ – is a 12-time Emmy-winning comedy writer. (Release)

Genesis Media has announced the appointment of Lulu Phongmany as vice president, business & publisher development. In her new role, Phongmany will be responsible for creating new revenue streams for Genesis Media and accelerating the growth of its publisher base.  This includes the development of business opportunities for Content Unlock, Genesis Media’s recently launched technology platform that allows online publishers to quickly and easily lock all or portions of their digital content via a “soft paywall,” allowing consumers to pay for content by watching targeting video advertisements and branding messages. Before joining Genesis Media, Phongmany held several positions at NBC Universal, including director of business development, where she was responsible for business development, marketing and commercial strategy and operations for iVillage.co.uk. (Release)

Last month, Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a bill into law that bans ”propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations” and threatens openly gay or “pro-gay” citizens and foreigners with fines, arrests and possible jail time. Another new law restricts adoptions of Russian children by people in countries that allow same-sex marriage.

With the 2014 Winter Olympics set to take place in Sochi, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) says it has received assurances ”from the highest level of government in Russia that the legislation will not affect those attending or taking part in the Games.” It pledged to ensure there would be no discrimination against athletes, officials, spectators or the media during the games.

Many equal-rights activists are unimpressed with the IOC’s response, and feel that whether or not the laws directly affect the games is far from the point. ”They should be advocating for the safety of all LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people in Russia, not simply those visiting for the Olympics,” said Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin. ”Rescinding this heinous law must be our collective goal.”

In order to make their voices heard, activists have been writing petitions and staging boycotts.

The “Dump Russian Vodka” campaign, started by internationally syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, has prompted bars across the US, UK, Canada and Australia to stop serving Russian brands like Stolichnaya. In response, Stolichnaya’s CEO Val Mendeleev wrote an open letter last week condemning the recent laws and reaffirming the brand’s commitment to the LGBT community. The brand’s website has also undergone an overhaul, and now features a rainbow block of text boasting that the brand “stands strong and proud with the global LGBT community against the attitude and actions of the Russian government.” (We’d call this a winning damage control response) Read more

PGOA Media has appointed Andrew Becks to the newly-created position of vice president of audience development. Becks, who begins his position immediately, brings a wealth of digitally-centric experience to the table. Prior to joining PGOA Media, Becks was director of audience development at Scripps Network, where he was responsible for developing customer acquisition and engagement strategies for Food.com, CookingChannelTV.com as well as FoodNetwork.com. He also co-founded 84 & 85, a digital marketing and technology consulting firm. (Minonline)

Hearst Magazines announced the appointment of Todd R. Haskell to the new role of senior vice president, chief revenue officer, Hearst Magazines Digital Media, effective September 3. Haskell, 44, will be responsible for driving the sales and marketing revenue for Hearst Magazines Digital Media’s 24 sites, including magazine brand sites Cosmopolitan.com, Esquire.com, Elle.com and GoodHousekeeping.com and pure-play digital brands including RealBeauty.com. Since 2007, Haskell was group vice president, advertising for NYTimes.com, the leading news site on the Web, reaching 50 million unique global readers each month (ComScore), responsible for all advertising revenue as well as cross-platform sales for American and international fashion, retail, travel, culture and sales offices in Europe and Asia. From 2004 to 2007, he managed advertising business development at The New York Times. (Release)

Justin Smith, president of Atlantic Media, will be joining Bloomberg Media Group as CEO. Smith succeeds Andy Lack, who will be taking on the new role of chairman of the Media Group. At Atlantic Media, Justin spearheaded The Atlantic’s dramatic transformation from a largely print-centric magazine to a digitally-led multi-platform franchise. (Bloomberg.com) Read more

Remember Dunkin’ Donuts’ breakfast sandwich that replaced a bagel with two doughnuts? Well, just in time for the hottest part of summer, Carl’s Jr. is unveiling its own frosty version of a sandwich between non-traditional bread substitutes, and is doing so in truly epic fashion. In the latest promo from the burger chain (below), the Strawberry Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich (a mouthful in more ways than one!) receives a debut befitting a modern marvel of mythic proportions…which, of course, it is.

The ad, created by agency 72andSunny, pairs the immediately recognizable and unquestionably epic theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey” with rave reviews from notable sources like The Huffington Post. The viewer is then given an up-close view as the tantalizing treat is assembled by hand, and is completed (in all its glory) just as the music reaches its climax.

We must say, even though we were taken in by the intensity of it all, we were left wondering one thing: Weren’t we just given detailed instructions on how to construct such a wonder of epic deliciousness ourselves out of things we probably already have in the kitchen (a pop tart, an ice cream scoop, and some ice cream)? Read more

The Catholic Church is usually one of the last institutions we would associate with words like “progressive” and “tolerant” in reference to homosexuality, but comments made by Pope Francis on Monday may signify the beginning of a major shift in attitude.

During a press conference aboard the pope’s overnight flight home from a week-long trip to Brazil, His Holiness was asked how he would respond to learning that a cleric in his ranks was gay, though not sexually active. Pope Francis answered by saying, “Who am I to judge a gay person of goodwill who seeks the Lord?…You can’t marginalize these people.”

Considering that the Vatican has long regarded homosexuality as a disorder, and previous popes like Benedict XVI formally barred gay men from entering the priesthood, the weight of these remarks — though brief and simple as they may seem — cannot be overstated. Read more

Can a woman really be completely satisfied in only seven minutes? Liquid-Plumr promises she can.

Turning mundane daily routines into hyper-sexualized hunk-fests seems to be the tactic of choice for some female-targeted brands like Kraft’s salad dressing and Clorox’s Liquid-Plumr. The latter’s latest spot, titled “Quickie“, leaves behind the double entendres of their “Double Impact” ad (two sexy plumbers clean out your pipes for the price of one!) in order to market its Urgent Clear formula — for women who “need it now.”

The ad (below) depicts a busy woman selecting a bottle of Urgent Clear from a hardware store shelf, and then immediately lapsing into a fantasy about a hunky plumber arriving at her door as she is on her way out. “I hear you need it now,” says the dreamy handy man. “I only have ten minutes,” giggles the rushed woman, to which the plumber seductively replies, “I only need seven.”

The viewer is then informed by a Barry White-esque voice that the formula “penetrates…to leave you satisfied in only seven minutes.” Read more

In case you’re one of the sad, deprived few who missed SyFy‘s latest motion picture masterpiece, Sharknado, you may be wondering, “What exactly is a Sharknado?” Allow me to enlighten you: Despite the potentially misleading name, it is neither a shark that behaves like a tornado, nor a tornado that behaves like a shark, but is, in fact, a tornado that forms over the ocean, sucking countless man-eating fish into its swirling vortex and dropping them willy-nilly upon the streets of unsuspecting Los Angeles.

Upon viewing the film with friends, the first thing I did — once I had come down from an unprecedented fit of gleeful laughter, which began during the opening sequence and persisted through what is perhaps the greatest ending of any movie ever — was to share my transcendent experience with my social media friends and followers. And I was far from alone.

On the night it first aired (July 11), the campy action film generated 318,232 tweets during broadcast, and peaked at 5,000 tweets per minute, making it the most-tweeted TV program of the night. Helping to fan the wildfire was the participation of big-name Twitter-users like Wil Wheaton, who tweeted a Vine counting down to the premiere to his 2.4 million followers, and then proceeded to live-tweet the movie. Read more

Does the name Clive Palmer mean anything to you? Unless you keep tabs on Australian mining tycoons, the answer is probably “no.” But if you’re one of the countless movie fans who’ve dreamed of visiting a real-world Jurassic Park, you’re about to become a bit more familiar with Mr. Palmer.

The Australian billionaire (and apparent fan of blockbuster movies from the 90′s), already made headlines this past winter when he announced his plans to build his own working replica of the Titanic, set to be completed in 2016. Now, Palmer is building his own version of Jurassic Park, complete with over 100 limb-moving, eye-blinking (robot) dinosaurs, 40 of which have already been delivered to his coastal resort.

“Work is well underway at the site to ensure the dinosaurs blend seamlessly into the natural vegetation and create a realistic prehistoric environment that will be entertaining, informative and educational,” reads the resort’s website. Read more

Jason Rzepka has taken on a larger role at MTV as senior vice president, brand communications and public affairs. In this expanded new position, Rzepka will oversee all corporate communications functions for MTV, including setting external and internal communications strategies for the brand, its various screens and businesses. He will also continue to oversee MTV’s public affairs department and the strategic direction of all “pro-social” campaigns across MTV, mtvU and MTV’s digital properties. Jennifer Solari has also been named vice president for program publicity and communications for MTV. Based in Santa Monica, Solari will oversee all the publicity and communications functions for MTV’s west coast office. She joins the company from CBS Television Studios. Additionally, MTV announced two key promotions with Janice Gatti named vice president of MTV/MTV2/mtvU communications and Noopur Agarwal upped to vice president, MTV public affairs. Both previously served as senior directors in their respective departments. (Release)

Charlie Perkins joins Global Strategy Group as managing director. Perkins, a seasoned communications executive with a distinguished career in reputation management, will be based in the New York office. Perkins most recently served in top corporate communications positions at Baker & McKenzie and Ernst & Young. He has also held leadership posts at several of the PR profession’s largest global agencies. (Release)