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Bad PR

Holy Sticky Fingers: $600K in Donations Stolen from Lakewood Church

lakewoodWell, it was just a matter of time, right? America’s largest church, Lakewood Church, pastored by the well-coifed Joel Osteen, has been burglarized to the tune of $600,000! Last Sunday, according to the Houston Chronicle, something was afoot in the collections vestibule.

What’s that? Most churches have them. This is the holy of holies where designated church volunteers go to count the tithe for the bank deposit. While there is nothing morally, ethically, or biblically wrong with that, the shenanigans to come out in the news following this normal action were.

The ubiquitous quoted “church leaders” sent all members of Lakewood Church about the “missing” cash, checks, and written credit card statements. While that is responsible to keep church members aware about what’s happening with their donations, many more cynical people are focusing on something else.

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THIS JUST IN: MSNBC Really Performed a ‘Chappelle Show’ Sketch

THIS JUST IN 2It’s not like MSNBC doesn’t know they are dead last in national news ratings. In fact, I hear the only people that watch that network are the hosts mamas and Al Sharpton’s barber to make sure his perm is holding up under those lights.

Seriously, the network sucks and if it weren’t for Rachel Maddow, I don’t even think MSNBC management would watch. To wit, the beleaguered network needed some punch, some oomph, something completely wrong.

So, the higher-ups call upon Toure, host of “The Cycle,” to pedal his ass where no one would think — “Chappelle’s Show.” And what transpired is so hard to believe. You know, if there wasn’t video … and there is after the jump. Read more

Finally, Jesus Gets Some Good PR During Sunday Brunch

sundays9n-1-webFULL DISCLOSURE: I love the Lord with all my heart. As some of you know, I went to Seminary and earned one of those Ph.D. thingies.

FULLER DISCLOSURE: I was a city trainer/head server for eight years at a certain restaurant known for having fun on “Fridays.”

FULLEST DISCLOSURE: The stereotypes are so very true. Many church folk exhibit their great suckage during Sundays at any dining establishment.

Now that we have that out of the way, I’d love to introduce Pastor Chad Roberts. He agrees that church folk can suck out loud and the worst shift at any restaurant in the country is Sunday brunch. (Ask any server if you don’t believe me and the good pastor.)

To wit, he created the above website (and we’ll talk about it after the jump): Read more

We Knew Papers Couldn’t be Trusted at the Oscars

For the cynical bunch in PR and media (present company included), there was a fleeting thought that the best movie of 2013 would post a pothole as wide as Hollywood and Highland for headline writers who think that’s the time to break out a new comedy series on that funniest of topics — slavery. Because nothing says fun-and-yuks like millions of oppressed people for the sake of lazy rednecks, cheap labor and a civil war.

Yet here it is, and many more after the jump…

daily-breeze-slave-full-617x800

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Sigma Alpha Epsilon Removes Hazing Because Death Hurts Rush Week

Sig Ep

Ironic this resembles a Mausoleum, no?

Sigma Alpha Epsilon has encounter a string of terrible PR in the form of hazing stories taking a turn for the morbid. In fact, since 2006 (as Bloomberg reports) it has killed more rush members than any other fraternity because of hazing and a slew of idiots at the helm.

I understand hazing. I’ve been hazed. However, not once, did I feel like I was going to die. And if I did, I’d would have endured with the mean mugs on campus. At least, I’m living to tell about it.

Given this horrible news at the hands of said fraternity, whose tagline is “Be True,” has decided to do just that. And so, they have banned hazing forever (supposedly).

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NBC News Continues its Hack Attack Form of Checkbook Journalism Because Ratings

interactive newsroom

Ironic what the NBC Interactive Newsroom chose to adorn its wall, huh?

Ratings (n.) — The source of all things monetary in media; The force by which all journalists show their worth the bigwigs in the corner offices; The reason media can suck.

When I was in a newsroom, there was just about nothing I wouldn’t do to get people to listen to what I had to say. Hell, in PR, it’s the same way. I’ll beg, borrow or steal borrow some more to help my clients get what they deserve and help tell their story. However, the people at NBC News, go a skosh past unethical into a whole new realm of paparazzi.

Again…

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San Francisco Thinks Bottled Water Should Tap Out

water bottles

We feel you, bro.

Whoever came up with an idea to sell water, bottle it and charge as much as $5 for it is nothing short of an evil genius, like Wile E. Coyote, only this cat dines on roadrunner stew nightly. The bottled water industry is now a $60 billion industry — annually.

While it’s nice and all healthy-like that all this water is being guzzled, the plastic bottles are causing quite the ecological kerfuffle. To wit, San Francisco has decided it is mad as hell and it’s not going to take it anymore as it prepares to become the first city in U.S. history to ban the sale of any plastic bottles. Anywhere.

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Drake Fires PR Firm for ‘YOLO’ Mistakes

drake money

On his way to the club to make it rain with $73. YOLO, indeed.

Being the publicist of an idiot celebrity is nothing more than a logo and cash grab. Where’s the fulfillment in constantly being pressured to cover someone’s tracks because he or she can’t cover his or her mouth?

Take this fool, Drake.

Reports have come out via Billboard that Drake and ID-PR have parted ways because of the now infamous (and all-too-classy-response) Rolling Stone cover story that was to feature the doltish “singer/rapper” but instead this Philip Seymour Hoffman had to go take heroin and die. Hoffman gets the cover. Drake thought he was snubbed.

And the rest is after the jump (and there’s more where that came from)…

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Exxon Mobil CEO Is All for Fracking, But Not in His Backyard

rex-tillersonExxon Mobil‘s website assures the public that when hydraulic fracturing (fracking) takes place, “Throughout the entire unconventional gas life cycle – from exploration to decommissioning – care is taken to minimize the disruption to the community and protect the environment.”

So, there should be no reason for anyone to fear or protest against fracking taking place near their homes, right? Right! Unless, of course, you’re Exxon Mobil’s Chairman and CEO Rex Tillerson.

Tillerson has joined a lawsuit to halt the construction of a water tower that could be used in the fracking process near his 18-acre Texas homestead. The lawsuit argues that the project would create “a noise nuisance and traffic hazards.”

But according to the Exxon Mobil site, such noise and traffic concerns are tantamount to non-issues:

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Slave Labor: McDonalds Franchisee Forced 25-Hour Shifts, Threatened Deportation

mcdonalds

Yeah, clowns. Your PR keeps getting worse.

Over the span of a few months, your humble servants at PRNewser have unfortunately shared a cornucopia of stories about the Golden Clown regarding his actions on handing out government cheese (on the burgers probably), advising its loyal employees how to live in poverty then shuts down its slightly offensive McResources hotline, and finally, how McDonalds is now America’s most hated company.

And now, the clown has its worse news yet. We’re talking real slave labor. In 2014. Like, today.

Bah-dah-bah-bop-bop … so many vegans are loving this.

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