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Shoot the Messenger

Marie Claire Tweets That Kendall Jenner Pioneered Cornrows; Outrage Ensues

kendall-jenner-marie-claireAnd this is why worshiping at the altar of people who have no merit of being idolized is stupid (shout out to entertainment media and everyone who follows Justin Bieber on Twitter).

For those not in the know (or the care), that is Kendall Jenner, a fave of paparazzi vultures everywhere. As you can tell, she thought would braid her hair. You know, as if she has seen it somewhere before but where in the world has she?

Hmmmm… 

Oh yeah, I wonder if she knows anyone who hangs out with black people? Nah, probably not.

I only say that because uber-homogeneous publication Marie Claire tweeted some utter stupidity, claimed those braids were “epic,” and subsequently got a harsh “hello” from this alternative stratosphere called “Black Twitter.”

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Storytelling for Media ProfessionalsStarting April 22, this in-person workshop will teach you the specific ways to incorporate storytelling into your personal and professional life. Students will examine the role of storytelling in business and put their newfound skills into practice with a series of improvisation, writing, and presentation exercises designed to help them uncover personal stories. Register now! 

PR Is Dead! Long Live PR!

is-pr-dead

Depends on who you ask. Be prepared for a response. You’ve been warned.

Ever heard the oxymoronic exclamation, “The king is dead! Long live the king!”

Feels odd just writing it. The phrase comes from the 15th century when Charles VI (known as “Charles the Mad,” who died as king and his son took the reigns to a much maligned and ransacked France).

Le roi est mort, vive le roi!” 

“The king is dead” announces just that. “Long live the king!” refers to whomever is the shrew to take the throne — in this case, Charles VII. Family business and all. Whelp, this often misunderstood profession seems to suffer same fate every year. Some schmuck says, “PR is dead.” Followed by a hipster who says, “Uh … no, dude.”

That has happened already in 2014, so which person is correct?

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Target Overhauls Security, Makes Overdue Decision … Sorta

Target-Rain

Thanks to a certain credit breach, someone at Target has been crying the blues.

The holiday season was not the most wonderful time of the year for Target thanks to some cybernetic miscreants living in their grandmama’s garage. On December 19, the bulls-eyed retailer reluctantly disclosed a data breach that compromised 40 million accounts. That was trumped by the admission of stolen personal information one month later — including names, phone numbers, and email and mailing addresses — from as many as 70 million customers.

And that’s when you would assume someone in technology would be refreshing a resume, right? An intern? Some IT manager? A PR director (since we get blamed for most things anyway)? Nope, according to the hometown Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Target went angling for a much larger fish.

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How Can Walmart Cause Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs to Die?

dirty jobsMike Rowe has a face only a network can love. The TV pitchman got his name for dipping his toe (among other parts of his entire body) in the muck and the mire of humanity for Discovery’s Dirty Jobs. The show, which shined a spotlight on the common man, became Rowe’s calling card.

Since then, he has shilled for Tylenol, Lee’s Premium Jeans and Ford Motor Company. He’s practically the voice of reason for the little man. To wit, he was hired by another brand known for its reach into middle ‘Merica — Walmart. 

For that, America has turned on Rowe to the tune of name calling, boycotting, social media trolling and even death threats.

Wait, what? Yes. As in “Let’s light the torches, get our pitchforks and go get us some Mike Rowe” threats.

Why, after the jump…

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Bill O’Reilly: ‘The Internet is Making America Stupid.’

pinheadWarm. Fuzzy. And a fresh batch of WTF, right?

While I would mail a high-five to Mr. O’Reilly if he said that about text messaging for all the dolts who speak in text lingo, he said the entire Internet is making us a nation of idiots.

Newsweek survey is causing his manties to ride up his self-righteous behind. You see, more than 3 million immigrants took the U.S. citizenship examination from October 2009 to August 2013. Roughly 92 percent of applicants passed it.

As for the U.S. citizens who took the native citizenry overview? Well, that earned the name calling… Read more

Billionaire Compares ‘War on Rich’ to Jews and the Holocaust

PERKINS

Send your hate mail to this jack wagon

Meet Thomas Perkins. 

He’s a Silicon Valley venture capitalist; a uber-iconoclast billionaire; founder of Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers; and international village idiot. Why? Dude was feeling miffed one day because his tea didn’t come with his daily copy of Barron’s (so, I’m sure he fired the help) and took it out on the Wall Street Journal. 

In fact, the letter to the editor he wrote was entitled: Progressive Kristallnacht Coming? Not cheeky enough for you uneducated peons? Try the slug in his article:

I would call attention to the parallels of Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.”

Yeah, there’s more after the jump…

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More on BridgeGate: Gov. Christie has a Potty-Mouthed Spokesperson

Star-Ledger-Eff-Bomb

Flacks, this is not how to impress someone from the media. 

Just in case you aren’t seeing this correctly: That is an email from a reporter with the New Jersey Star-Ledger and that is a response with a highly loaded eff bomb. Nice.

Meet Michael Drewniak, he’s a little bit of a douche for thinking he can talk to a member of the press like that (even if he intended it to be behind his back), but he’s also Gov. Chris Christie’s spokesperson. Yeah, hurts to miss that one. Just when ‘BridgeGate’ couldn’t use any more fire, here comes the Gov’s mouthpiece spewing out gallons of kerosene.

And, there’s more where that came from, of course…

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Finally, Something PETA Will Ignore. Maybe. Well, Who Knows?

MorrisseyIf Abraham Maslow had created a hierarchy of people respecting animals from pet owners to bat-ess-crazy people who treat animals with more respect than other people, then PETA would be granted its own step in there somewhere along with some of its heinous advertising.

Every group dangling on the fringe is going to have its radicals. You know the ones: Dumping a bucket of paint on a fur coat and running like Usain Bolt to escape the ass whoopin’ that’s sure to come. From churches to Capitol Hill, Hollywood to Broadway, the cereal crowd is everywhere (e.g., fruits, nuts and flakes).

However, PETA has a reputation for hosting family reunions with those kookaberries. No rational debate. No intelligent conversation. Just vitriol to the point of cussing out someone’s mama and kicking her walker out from under her after leaving a bruise on her varicose-veined shin.

And the Special K of them all would be Morrissey and his crazy behind. Wait until you hear this…

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U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston: ‘Poor Kids Should Clean Floors for Lunch’

Jack Kingston

Just when you thought public opinion of Congress couldn’t get any worse.

Meet U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA).

He’s a mild-mannered man running for U.S. Senate to replace the retiring Sen. Saxby Chambliss. When running for such a prestigious office, most people will rehearse talking points that a skilled PR professional will craft. Why? Because said flack will understand how to balance poignancy with diplomacy, persistence with assistance.

Oh no, not Jack. He needed the budget, did away with the flack, bought some Crisco grease, lubed up his ears and stuck his head smooth up his blessed assurance. How? You’ll love this.

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Top 10 Social Media Fails of 2013

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Come on, now. You knew this was coming.

Before we get started, a few points:

1. The entire PRNewser team extends our deepest sympathies to the real-life “people” involved in these incidents.

2. Comments are open, so please denigrate the nominees loudly.

3. We are very open to more (dis)honorable mentions. We wouldn’t be able to write these sorts of things without the insights of our flacky audience, so please feel free to yell at ya’ boy, girl, other girl and our editor who is not named Jason Chupick.

OK, now click through for what has already become a sad (but informative!) annual tradition…

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