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Shoot the Messenger

Target Overhauls Security, Makes Overdue Decision … Sorta

Target-Rain

Thanks to a certain credit breach, someone at Target has been crying the blues.

The holiday season was not the most wonderful time of the year for Target thanks to some cybernetic miscreants living in their grandmama’s garage. On December 19, the bulls-eyed retailer reluctantly disclosed a data breach that compromised 40 million accounts. That was trumped by the admission of stolen personal information one month later — including names, phone numbers, and email and mailing addresses — from as many as 70 million customers.

And that’s when you would assume someone in technology would be refreshing a resume, right? An intern? Some IT manager? A PR director (since we get blamed for most things anyway)? Nope, according to the hometown Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Target went angling for a much larger fish.

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How Can Walmart Cause Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs to Die?

dirty jobsMike Rowe has a face only a network can love. The TV pitchman got his name for dipping his toe (among other parts of his entire body) in the muck and the mire of humanity for Discovery’s Dirty Jobs. The show, which shined a spotlight on the common man, became Rowe’s calling card.

Since then, he has shilled for Tylenol, Lee’s Premium Jeans and Ford Motor Company. He’s practically the voice of reason for the little man. To wit, he was hired by another brand known for its reach into middle ‘Merica — Walmart. 

For that, America has turned on Rowe to the tune of name calling, boycotting, social media trolling and even death threats.

Wait, what? Yes. As in “Let’s light the torches, get our pitchforks and go get us some Mike Rowe” threats.

Why, after the jump…

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Bill O’Reilly: ‘The Internet is Making America Stupid.’

pinheadWarm. Fuzzy. And a fresh batch of WTF, right?

While I would mail a high-five to Mr. O’Reilly if he said that about text messaging for all the dolts who speak in text lingo, he said the entire Internet is making us a nation of idiots.

Newsweek survey is causing his manties to ride up his self-righteous behind. You see, more than 3 million immigrants took the U.S. citizenship examination from October 2009 to August 2013. Roughly 92 percent of applicants passed it.

As for the U.S. citizens who took the native citizenry overview? Well, that earned the name calling… Read more

Billionaire Compares ‘War on Rich’ to Jews and the Holocaust

PERKINS

Send your hate mail to this jack wagon

Meet Thomas Perkins. 

He’s a Silicon Valley venture capitalist; a uber-iconoclast billionaire; founder of Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers; and international village idiot. Why? Dude was feeling miffed one day because his tea didn’t come with his daily copy of Barron’s (so, I’m sure he fired the help) and took it out on the Wall Street Journal. 

In fact, the letter to the editor he wrote was entitled: Progressive Kristallnacht Coming? Not cheeky enough for you uneducated peons? Try the slug in his article:

I would call attention to the parallels of Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.”

Yeah, there’s more after the jump…

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More on BridgeGate: Gov. Christie has a Potty-Mouthed Spokesperson

Star-Ledger-Eff-Bomb

Flacks, this is not how to impress someone from the media. 

Just in case you aren’t seeing this correctly: That is an email from a reporter with the New Jersey Star-Ledger and that is a response with a highly loaded eff bomb. Nice.

Meet Michael Drewniak, he’s a little bit of a douche for thinking he can talk to a member of the press like that (even if he intended it to be behind his back), but he’s also Gov. Chris Christie’s spokesperson. Yeah, hurts to miss that one. Just when ‘BridgeGate’ couldn’t use any more fire, here comes the Gov’s mouthpiece spewing out gallons of kerosene.

And, there’s more where that came from, of course…

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Finally, Something PETA Will Ignore. Maybe. Well, Who Knows?

MorrisseyIf Abraham Maslow had created a hierarchy of people respecting animals from pet owners to bat-ess-crazy people who treat animals with more respect than other people, then PETA would be granted its own step in there somewhere along with some of its heinous advertising.

Every group dangling on the fringe is going to have its radicals. You know the ones: Dumping a bucket of paint on a fur coat and running like Usain Bolt to escape the ass whoopin’ that’s sure to come. From churches to Capitol Hill, Hollywood to Broadway, the cereal crowd is everywhere (e.g., fruits, nuts and flakes).

However, PETA has a reputation for hosting family reunions with those kookaberries. No rational debate. No intelligent conversation. Just vitriol to the point of cussing out someone’s mama and kicking her walker out from under her after leaving a bruise on her varicose-veined shin.

And the Special K of them all would be Morrissey and his crazy behind. Wait until you hear this…

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U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston: ‘Poor Kids Should Clean Floors for Lunch’

Jack Kingston

Just when you thought public opinion of Congress couldn’t get any worse.

Meet U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA).

He’s a mild-mannered man running for U.S. Senate to replace the retiring Sen. Saxby Chambliss. When running for such a prestigious office, most people will rehearse talking points that a skilled PR professional will craft. Why? Because said flack will understand how to balance poignancy with diplomacy, persistence with assistance.

Oh no, not Jack. He needed the budget, did away with the flack, bought some Crisco grease, lubed up his ears and stuck his head smooth up his blessed assurance. How? You’ll love this.

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Top 10 Social Media Fails of 2013

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Come on, now. You knew this was coming.

Before we get started, a few points:

1. The entire PRNewser team extends our deepest sympathies to the real-life “people” involved in these incidents.

2. Comments are open, so please denigrate the nominees loudly.

3. We are very open to more (dis)honorable mentions. We wouldn’t be able to write these sorts of things without the insights of our flacky audience, so please feel free to yell at ya’ boy, girl, other girl and our editor who is not named Jason Chupick.

OK, now click through for what has already become a sad (but informative!) annual tradition…

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Sonic Drive-In Feeds Chiefs and Redskins Fans Some Crow via Twitter

SonicSignIt’s no secret that I loathe politically correctiveness. People get too offended about too many things these days. In the words of a villainous philosopher, “Why so serious?” However, when it comes to the NFL, well … I’ll let you be the judge of this ballyhoo.

Full Disclosure: Sonic Drive-In is sheer greatness and I would adore to do PR for this company. (Call me?) However, to paraphrase a marketing slogan, “This is not how you Sonic.” Just look at the sign outside a Missouri Sonic, soak it in and more after the jump…

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IBM Gets Aggressive in Countering Bridgestone Lawsuit

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In case you missed it (yeah right), The Healthcare.gov debacle just provided the entire world with a painful reminder of the challenges inherent in IT projects.

On that note, here’s an interesting case we missed last week: IBM, a company known for keeping its cards as close to its chest as possible, has gone all out to address a lawsuit filed by former partner Bridgestone Tires.

ZDNet calls it “PR finger pointing“, and it goes a little something like this: after hiring IBM to help install SAP software, Bridgestone blamed the company for a “failed” launch and sued for $600 million to cover “fraud” and other expenses.

In the wake of such accusations, IBM chose to go on the offensive, calling the claims “exaggerated, factually wrong and without merit” and writing that Bridgestone “failed to meet critical commitments upon which the performance of IBM’s obligations were predicated.”

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