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Colbert Offers ‘Survival Tips from GMA’

Colbert GMA

Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert says “when it comes to blowing it out for ratings, no one blows harder than ‘Good Morning America’.”

Colbert notes that GMA’s Matt Gutman has been focusing on something “every American can relate to–fighting off bears and sharks.”

“These GMA tips are absolutely critical to survive an attack that GMA just as critically admits will never happen,” Colbert said.

Watch it, after the jump:
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Jon Stewart Drops by CNN

On this Election Day 2014, Jon Stewart is in the belly of the beast.

The man responsible for the cancelation of “Crossfire” (the first time), who launched a campaign earlier this year to buy the company, and who, earlier this week, called the network “an opportunity squandered,” was at CNN today for an interview with Christiane Amanpour. Stewart tells Amanpour he didn’t vote today, because, having just moved out of New York State, he doesn’t know where his polling place is. (After the jump)

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Who’s Gonna Win? Who’s Gonna Lose? And Who Cares?

Chuck Todd was on “Colbert Report” last night, pushing his new book “The Stranger: Barack Obama in the White House,” and teeing up today’s midterm elections. “I think it could take until January,” Todd says of the final results. “We’ll have runoffs in Louisiana. And a runoff in Georgia in January.”

“Chuck, if I have to keep talking about the midterms after tomorrow night, I will go to Maine and start making out with that nurse.”

Final ‘Colbert Report’ is Dec. 18

You’ll only have about 7 more weeks of “Colbert Report” on Comedy Central, which is probably just fine with Sean Hannity.

“On December 18, my show is ending,” Colbert announced last night, just before a bit on voter apathy about the midterms, which included George Takei. “The 2014 midterms are the most expensive ever, costing $4 billion, and nobody is watching. It’s like the ‘Lone Ranger’ of elections.”

Colbert takes over for David Letterman when Letterman steps down from CBS’s the “Late Show” expected to be in May.

Conan Mocks CNN’s ‘Over The Top’ Ebola Coverage

What’s that you say, Conan O’Brien? You think cable news coverage of the Ebola outbreak has been “over the top” and even “insane”? The ginger-haired host took a well-produced shot at corporate cousin CNN’s breathless coverage following an incident that interrupted the monologue.

Bill O’Reilly: ‘I’m Sitting Here Because I’m Obnoxious, Not Because I’m White’

OreillyStewart2In an extended “Daily Show” interview Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly finally settled the white privilege debate. Or not. Stewart argues it exists. O’Reilly says it doesn’t.

“Let me repeat this and I’ll do it slowly so that even you can understand,” O’Reilly said to Stewart, “If you work hard, if you get educated, if you’re an honest person, YOU CAN MAKE IT IN AMERICA!”

Stewart shot back: “If you live in a neighborhood where poverty is endemic, where it’s harder to work hard, where it’s harder to get an education…”

“YES. It’s harder if you’re a ghetto kid. But can you do it? YES!” O’Reilly shot back.

At one point an audience member heckled the Fox News host. “You think I’m sitting here because I’m white? O’Reilly said. “I’m sitting here because I’m obnoxious, not because I’m white,”

Stewart eventually got O’Reilly to admit that, without “condemning modern society,” that white privilege is “a factor” of American history.

“You, Bill O’Reilly, can lead the flock of the Fox faithful to a better place,” Stewart said in closing.

How Many Poop Puns Can Anderson Cooper Drop Into a ‘Ridiculist?’

Anderson Cooper outdid himself last night during his “Ridiculist” segment as he reported the story of a Seattle man who found some illegal dumping going on in his front yard… and not of the canine variety.

Larry King Is Not On Board With Dying at 75

King 2Responding to Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel‘s article expressing his hope he dies at 75, Larry King explained earlier this week why the doctor is wrong.

“I’m ticked,” King said on “Conan.” King, who is 80, doesn’t get the die-at-75 argument. “Why 75? 75 was my favorite year. I don’t mean 75-years-old; I mean the year 75.” King also pointed out the advantages of living past 75. “I watched the Big Bang before it was a television show.” Finally, King showed off he’s not past his prime with a thunder chop through cement.

Watch after the jump.

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Brooke Baldwin Gets the Last Laugh

Brook 2CNN’s Brooke Baldwin was the last TV news comic standing yesterday. The CNN host won the ninth annual New York’s Funniest Reporter show.

Baldwin’s five-minute comedy act joked about the differences between living in Atlanta and New York City. Baldwin and Carol Costello made the move to NYC this summer.

Fox News contributor Tamara Holder came in second. The contest raises money for the Humane Society of New York.

‘So Long Suckers’

WBZ reporter Chris McKinnon reported for “CBS This Morning” on a great white shark attack off Plymouth, MA. Turns out McKinnon just joined the Boston station, and just as Charlie Rose and Gayle King welcomed him to the CBS family, this happened: