Hear me now and mock me later: there is never a bad time to invoke the "Sound of Music." Especially as hilariously as this. Warning: do not read said this while drinking Diet Coke. Seriously. Your computer screen will thank you.

The "this" in question is today's hilarious take on "Brokeback Mountain" re-imagined as "The Sound of Music" by Joyce Wadler, which finds two goatherds not quite so lonely anymore, and includes lines like this which must be reprinted in full:

UNKNOWN PERSON AT DOOR
Knock, knock.

GOAT
Who's there?

PERSON AT DOOR
Die anschluss.

GOAT
This is Austria; come right in.

The goat, cracking up, turns to Ernst und Jurgen.

GOAT
It's an old joke, but it gets me every time. In a few months, I bet it will work with France, too.

Even people who don't know from Captain Von Trapp's surpassing sexiness will understand that. For those who are familiar with this Oscar-winning classic (and also Oscar-penned classic, as in Hammerstein), there are hilarious reference aplenty, which will inspire you no doubt to climb all sorts of mountains solve all sorts of problems, whether they're named Maria or not.

Please note that the illustration is by the NYT's Campbell Robertson, who has so far illustrated Wadler's other "Underfinanced Production Company" entries (here and here). Who knew?

Also: could I plotz any more, thanks to this item Fishbowl once again is enjoying blog synchronicity thanks to dual unrelated Ethel Merman references (see Gypsy ref below). Bonus points for invoking Passover on Chanukah with a little Chad Gadya. Next year in Jerusalem!

p.s. Here's my meshugenah horse.