Should you decline to slap your bag of swag from Olympus Fashion Week onto eBay, making use of its contents will look a little like this [as modeled by Jess, who neither sponsors nor condones the use of any of these items.]

Though now the IRS is getting in on the debate over swag, the sack'o'loot given out at Olympus Fashion Week to industry and press didn't bring out the moral conundrum for many, who were overheard kvetching on the mile-long press accreditation line that the goody bags had yet to be assembled on Friday afternoon.

However, order was restored and the loot was bagged and dispensed. We picked ours up yesterday with some apprehension, since Olympus has been known to dole out the awkward freebie: Still wrapped in its cellophane, last year's complimentary bottle of diet pills waits in the back of our bathroom drawer like a ticking time bomb, waiting to detonate the next time our sister comes into town and commences the ritual borrowing of our sh*t.

But clearly all our worrying was for naught, as the Zestra Feminine Arousal Fluid included in the goody bag will surely not prompt any untoward assumptions. In fact, in the giving spirit of Fashion Week, it makes us feel better about ourselves. See, if we need it so badly it's being rained down on us for free, then we must not be all that sexy. And models aren't sexy either so, by the transitive property, we are like models. Everyone wins.

FishbowlNY's Fashion Week Coverage: