Our French sucks, and our English isn't much better, but this week we have possibly the goodest Fishies yet. Oh, why make you wait, we know you want 'em. C'mere, tiger.

1. You'll always remember your first: Hooray! It's Radar's first week, and its first Fishy! And go figure, it hasn't even come out yet. Today's bit on Tom Cruise's PR floundering without Pat Kingsley was right on, but it was the last line that made me snigger: "The Jews can just sit this one out." Well, of course it's funnier in context, as all Jew jokes are. [Radar via, interestingly, HuffPo]

2. "We're a little worried about the coat, but we've decided to go with it." Over at that other newbie, The Huffington Post, our old pal Harry Shearer has posted a very existentially funny video of Dan Rather on location in Seattle, deliberating over an all-important detail of the impending newscast: coat or no coat? Seriously. For, like, forty-five minutes. Rather is clearly torn: warmth or fashion? Finally, after polling everyone within earshot ("Jeff likes the collar down...I like the collar up, but what can I tell you"), he opts for warmth. Dan, the fact that you were gunning for "collar up" probably means that you should leave the fashion decisions to someone else.

3. We love being right, part II: Early on, we recognized the potential for chicanery, tomfoolery and hijinkery inherent in Greg Gutfeld's presence on the Huffington Post. But we never could have predicted that he'd become the darling of a blog touted for its famous names (none of them his). Yet far from turfing him out, Arianna has bumped him back up to the Front Page and given him his own special category: "The Gutfeld Drive-Bys." Hilariously, this was news to Gutfeld:
(May 13/05, 2:44 pm EST)

Fishbowl: YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SPECIAL ARCHIVE?????
Pls. explain.
Gutfeld: I do? This is the first I've heard of it. Then again, I am drunk.

4. ...but one more day drink and we're yours. Yes, we leurve Greg Gutfeld - but that doesn't mean we still don't giggle crazily at Sploid, especially those kooky Shift Memos. We laughed the kind of laugh that would have sprayed our screen with Diet Coke had we been drinking it at the escalating description of Hugh Grant with Divine Brown back in '95. We also snickered at this invitation to advertisers: "Do you want to be worshipped by a couple of sketchy news editors? Click here." If Gutfeld ever makes it to Outer Reno, the world may implode.

5. And now, a totally unbiased and impartial word from our sponsor: Okay, fine, she's my boss, but that doesn't make MediaBistro's own Elizabeth Spiers any less right in her column responding to to Adam Cohen's Sunday NYT editorial on the lax, ethics-challenged blogosphere. Our M. Lizzie took him to task, line by line, example by example, and roundly kicked his ass. Favorite line: "Alas, annoying expository redundancy is, it seems, as much a feature of mainstream media as it is the blogosphere." Yeah, that article really said the same thing twice a lot.

6. From the dept. of "shoot me now": Stephen Holden made our thirtysomething breath catch in our throats on Friday in his review of the new J.Lo/J.Fo flick "Monster-in-Law" when he suggests that "the time has come for Ms. Lopez to abandon romantic comedy for something edgier. At 35, she is too long in the tooth to keep playing Jenny From the Neighborhood, a blushing blue-collar ingénue tapped to be Cinderella." Dammit, and we thought we could stay an ingénue like Maer forever.