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Forget BuzzFeed — FeedBuzz Is Where It’s At

Forget BuzzFeed’s astronomical rise to journalistic and meme-tastic bliss. Put aside their shouts out from President Obama, their allegedly awesome White House Correspondents Dinner parties, their ever-growing list of big-name (and, presumably, high-price) journalists joining the masthead.

FeedBuzz is the new, hip site and if you aren’t reading it, you’re probably, like, stuck in the antediluvian epoch that was the first half of 2013.

See, FeedBuzz features a VAClub, guest writers and videos.

Videos!

And who cares how many lists BuzzFeed can compile of cats doing this and that. Who even thinks about goats that sound like humans now? What are you, a grandma? Come on.

The cool thing to scroll through is Arab children feasting their eyes on hamburgers.

Like, totally hitting that international news angle that Buzz — what was it again? — oh, yeah, BuzzFeed could never cover.

And talk about sleek simplicity!

BuzzFeed was — note, was, ’cause it’s such a has-been read — so weighed down with those nine reaction tabs. “Geeky?” “Trashy?” Seriously? “Cute.” More like LMMFAO (added M for “mother,” and to differentiate from the thankfully defunct pop group).

FeedBuzz knows we only have three useful visceral reactions to online content: !, ?, and %.

Looks like the so-called social news site is going to have trouble getting an invite to the next high school prom, let alone the next Nerdprom.

BuzzFeed is Buzz!?*%ed.

h/t [Et Tu, Mr. Destructo?]

Editor’s note: This piece is satirical. We sort-of feel we’re insulting you by pointing that out, but you know how internet commenters are.

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