Intrepid "Lunch at Michael's" reporter (and my boss) Laurel Touby is on the West Coast this week, so once again, I'm filling in (to the best of my ability).

First things first: Michael McCarty has a book deal. From today's Publisher's Lunch:

Restaurateur of the Michael's restaurants in New York and Santa Monica Michael McCarty's MICHAEL'S COOKBOOK, recipes from the restaurants and anecdotes about entertaining powerful patrons, to Karen Murgolo at Bulfinch, by Robert Barnett at Williams & Connolly (world).

Today's rundown:

Table 1: Judy Collins and her nephew Kalin (sp?)

Table 8: New York Social Diary's David Patrick Columbia with two guests.

Table 2 (I think it was Table 2. My diagram looks like a big Rorschach test. "What do you see when you look at the inkblot?" "Um, a cobb salad and Roger Ailes."): CBS's Vic Neufeld with ??

Table 5: (I think it was Table 5...) Showtime CEO Matt Blank & ??

Table 4: Simon & Schuster CEO Jack Romanos and William Morris's Owen Laster.

Table 6: Fashion designer Dana Buchman and three guests.

Table 11: Hill & Knowlton's Jonathan Capehart & ??

Table 17: NYC Film Commissioner Katherine Oliver and Beverly Camhe, who's producing The Celestine Prophecy.

Table 19: Me (mb EIC Elizabeth Spiers) and ICM's Kate Lee (a.k.a. my long-suffering and quite lovely agent. Primary topic of discussion: Alternatives to intelligent design, i.e., The Flying Spaghetti Monster theory. Also discussed: Carson Kressley's new children's book, You're Different and That's Super!, to be published by Simon & Schuster.)

Table 15: Ex-police commissioner Bernard Kerik, with uber-lawyer Joseph Tacopina ("to the defense bar what Donald Trump is to real estate") and a guest. Kerik ordered a cheeseburger with no bun and left the fries sitting on the place. Kate and I were mysteriously gifted a cookie plate which Tacopina eyed and smirkingly asked if he could have a cookie for Kerik. Mi cookie es su cookie, we told him, but Kerik declined, offering us his fries. (Last time we did Lunch at Michael's Men's Fitness EIC Neal Boulton offered us his spinach. I smell a trend!)

Table 23: Daily News gossip columnist George Rush and Men's Journal EIC Michael Caruso.

Table 29: AMI SVP of corporate communications Stu Zakim and AMI public relations coordinator Barrie Gordon.

Table 21: Moe Kaufman (who works for Barry Diller) and Allison Rosen, who works for Time Warner's investment division.

Table 22: Access Hollywood's Michael Lewittes and Mark (Lupker?)

Also spotted: Daily News gossip Joanna Malloy

Send corrections and additions to Elizabeth@mediabistro.com