Between all the Sturm, Drang, and useless speculation, we gotta have some good news, right? I swore that I would uncover the Middle Name That Dared Not Speak It's, uh, Name, and I did: behold, Kenneth Y. Tomlinson's middle name is now known, and the time is nigh for it to be revealed! Your breath is bated, your palms sweaty, your pulse quickening even as you read this. Oh, yes, we'll give it to you. But first, we're gonna make you jump.

Kenneth Y. Tomlinson's middle name is....

Young.

(Thanks to Eben Peck, Director of Government Affairs at the CPB, for the intel!)