But we'll take a crack at it anyway:

"I was this close to being the next Michael Brown."
"I'm crushing Roger Ailes' head!"
"No, let's see about this much blue background."
"The only reason I took the job was that Turner hands me a stack of hundreds like this..."
"C'mon, kids, let's just get a leeetle bit angrier..."

and of course,

"...and then, after my bris..."

(thanks to TVNewser for the pic and a faithful Fishbowl reader for the caption help! If you think you can improve on our captions, send your suggestions here.)