Over at WWD, Jeff Bercovici gives Seventeen editor and MTV reality star Atoosa Rubenstein the best birthday present ever: her very own feature! Today Bercovici wishes Atoosa a very happy 34th with the debut of "Atoosa Rubenstein...in her own words," promising to make it a semi-regular feature. "Body hair, hot dogs, Shiite dictators -- nothing is too personal or random when she has a point to make," says Bercovici, intuitively understanding that every woman loves to celebrate her advancing years by invoking her rampant body hair. In any case, here are some of his selections, fresh from behind the subscription wall:

I'd like to see them try that now, especially when Atoosa's in heels: "At camp, boys beat me up. I didn't go to my prom. I took a job at Carvel's just because I needed something to do the night of the prom. My friends butted me out of conversations." -- Boston Globe, July 1999

Kids can be mean, part II: "People called me Ayatollah Atoosa during the hostage crisis, or Medusa, because I had, like, this wild Afro." -- Newsday, March 2000

...but only because "I'm a Jew working on the railroad" was taken: "When I was younger, I was a liar....Like, I would tell people things like my older brother had a van with Led Zeppelin art painted on the side of it." -- "Dear Seventeen" advice column, March 2005

Jon Friedman asked the exact same question: "That's someone's mother, that's someone's daughter. That's someone who worked really hard to get to where they are. Why would you say something about what they're wearing in such a mean way?" -- On snarky bloggers, New York Observer, October 2005

Also, it doesn't say "Ayatollah Atoosa": "The old hair said, 'Hi, I'm a quirky, wacky girl, and I don't care what anybody thinks.' The new hair said, 'I have work to do.'" -- On why she straightened her hair after moving from Cosmogirl to Seventeen, New York Times, November 2003

Then we'll skip class, make out in the hallways, and smoke under the bleachers: "I tell my staff to do whatever takes them back to high school, whether it's reading old notes or listening to a certain group. We have to remember what it's like when every day is an adventure." -- On why she eats hot dogs, Chicago Tribune, August 2000

And in the October issue you can learn about YOUR flower, too! "They're like two flowers growing alongside each other." -- On Seventeen and Cosmogirl, WWD, July 2003

...all you need is a hand mirror: "If you don't even know how to read, you essentially know what's happening in this magazine." -- WWD, February 2005

What was that about Shiite dictators? "Let's just say I'm a hairy, hairy girl." -- August 2004 editor's letter

And a gutsy one at that. Happy birthday, Atoosa!

The Quotable Atoosa Rubenstein [WWD]