Apparently she's in...Kazakhstan. Seriously.

I decided to beat the Memorial weekend traffic on Montauk Highway. I figured Austrian Airlines to Siberia beats a Cadillac sedan to East Hampton...Where I am right now is on the way to Omsk, just a pregnant beluga away from Irkutsk, maybe a samovar out of Vladivostok, yet my cellphone reception is so clear I can hear Putin belch. In Connecticut, I can't even get a wrong number. I may move here just to stick it up Verizon. Can you hear me now?