We had to work (lest we be outsourced), so we missed today's terrifying Magazine Publishers of American forum: "Media Outsourcing in India." Here's how the MPA advertised the event:

Though most people know that service calls and the like have been outsourced to India for some time, few seem to know the how extensive media outsourcing is. This panel explores pitfalls and opportunities in outsourcing to India, whether it's editorial, graphic, back office, content management, search, and more. This forum will offer a variety of opinions and Case Studies from inside and outside the media industry, all of which will focus on the economic benefits of outsourcing. The panel will address what functions could be outsourced initially, typical concerns when organizations decide to outsource, and various outsourcing models. Panelist include Hoshie Glaswalla, President, Publishing. CyberMedia (India); Peter Meirs, Director of Alternative Media, Time Inc, and David Berkowitz, Director of Marketing,Viewpoint Corp. and a columnist for Media Post's search Insider. This is very likely the most comprehensive forum on media outsourcing offered in some time. Please join us.

Fishbowl put this copy through our handy UnderlingTranslator™ and got the following result:

Since everyone else seems to be making money off of people in India, why shouldn't we? It's way easier than you think. And all your peers are already doing it, even if they're too ashamed to tell you about it. You think you need a bunch of fat, lazy Americans to copyedit and use InDesign? We have people in India who will do it for half the salary and not expect insurance or a 401(k) plan! Why are you still paying a bunch of Ivy League brats in your research department when there's a willing team of young, well-educated people with 10 times the work ethic mere timezones away? We'll tell you exactly how to most efficiently replace your American workers with overseas labor without looking greedy. Listen to our knowledgable panelists discuss screwing your domestic workforce while looking fabulous to those fickle financiers. This is very likely our last opportunity to explain all of this to you before those writers you hire get wind of it and start making a fuss. Please join us.

MPA

If anyone was actually at the event, please allay our fears or stoke our anxiety-fueled fires by shooting an email to fishbowlny AT mediabistro.com