The Fishies Would Comment But They Don’t Want To Compromise An Ongoing Criminal Investigation

What can we say, we’re just good that way. A moment on the loose lips, a lifetime of not quite fitting into your jeans (thanks, Travel & Leisure party!). Props to you all for another bang-up week of drollery and good times – we need interns because we can’t keep up with how badass you all are. (Well, not all of you. You know who you are.) As per usual we’re flaking on fishifying for you right now, probably because you’re all on your way to the Hamptons with Bob Morris. But we’ll be back Monday with all sorts of lovely bits. Enjoy the weekend, and don’t forget your hat and sunscreen.

Update: Fish duly fried after the jump.

1. See last week’s entry about Genesis 38:3-10: Can Brian Williams really be this innocent and naive? Usually we’d have no question about where a blogger was going with the following quote, but we think he might actually be in earnest: “The sight (on all the cable news channels and a few of the broadcast networks) of grown men fondling models of the space shuttle and its solid rocket boosters can only mean one thing: The launch of the shuttle has been scrubbed for the day.” We had a very different idea of what that ‘one thing’ might be, but that could just be because we’re going to hell. Or it could be because grown men fondling their solid rocket boosters is normal and healthy. P.S. Brian, please forgive us, you know we can’t smile without you.

2. Meanwhile, tech bloggers can’t smile without the Gizmodo guy: Friday was Gizmodo editor Joel Johnson’s last day on the job before going off to ‘pursue freelancing opportunities’ (that’s not a euphemism; Gawker Media Taskmaster Lockhart Steele praises his tenure, during which “laughs were had, traffic soared, and Gizmodo won the 2005 Bloggie Award for Best Technology Weblog”). But the proof is in the tech-praise-laden-pudding* as Senior Editor John Biggs sends Johnson off with a super-sweet cyber-card signed by a Who’s Who of the Technosphere: Boing Boing’s Cory Doctorow; Sync Magazine’s Matthew Schneiderman; and Laptop Magazine EIC Mark Spoonauer. The Fishy for most heartfelt sentiment (and coolest name) goes to Xeni Jardin of Xeni.net: “If it weren’t for you, I’d never have known that Nexus 6 models can run on Linux, thereby overriding the 4-year lifespan cap specified in our native OS.” Sniff. We’re tearing up. Good luck, Joel! We’ll try to learn to program our VCR in your honor.

3. I haven’t slept for 10 days. Because that would be too long. I didn’t write that, though I wish I did. That classic line was by the late Mitch Hedberg, a brilliant and beloved comedian who died at the end of March. Kudos to Entertainment Weekly which had a really nice tribute article to Hedberg in last week’s issue (by Daniel Fierman). EW is always very good about giving coverage to niche artists and events even in the midst of obligatory covers on the latest blockbuster/It girl. I’m sure fans really appreciated this. Great piece.

4. “Rove Caught Doing Something Evil Again” Here’s another one that I couldn’t possibly top. Sploid, you make my job easy. But don’t think we haven’t noticed the absence of Shift Memos, and don’t think we don’t miss them (aka, we do miss them). Ken? Are you there? You’ve gotta have LOTS to say on this one. Please please please…

5. Pretty Borkin’ hilarious: Over at Collision Detection, the first blog I ever read, Clive Thompson finds us all sorts of fun tidbits about giant squid and spam-bots and Turing tests and video games and UFOS. He also keeps up with current events, zeroing in on the outspoken Robert Bork, who next to some of the candidates under consideration by the White House is probably lookin’ pretty good to Democrats right about now. Apparently, Bork’s very public flogging following his (unsuccessful) nomination for the top court way back when resulted in a new verb, “to Bork,” which actually does not mean the thing grown men think about when fondling their solid rocket boosters. Bork thinks it means to be unfairly besmirched; Clive says it means to colossally Bork the pooch. You know what I mean.

6. White House Press corps. ‘Nuff said.

*I hereby award myself a Fishy for the clunkiest phrase ever

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