We didn't need a good reason to switch over from FNC's Dayside With Linda Vester, but this would have been more than enough: crochety comic Lewis Black making CNN take down their distracting yellow news-crawl across the bottom of the screen as CNN's Kyra Phillips giggled in the background. "You're supposed to be looking at me! Me! Not this...San Francisco sun! Where do you live? You're in Des Moines? Do you care? No!" It sounded better live but in any case, it worked (see above).

Black also said that he has ADD, Wolf Blitzer is "gay" for him, and that he "would have been a perfect Pope. They need a Jewish Pope." Yes, the conclave was thinking just that.