Category: The Talking Heads

Wow - apparently I missed quite a Letterman last night. A Fishbowl tipster (ok my dad) called to tell me that he'd never seen David Letterman so combative as when he called Bill O'Reilly on the carpet for his "War on Christmas" campaign and the above-referenced crap (my dad said that Letterman "seemed to imply that 60% was a generous figure).

Wish I'd seen it; didn't. But after the jump there are some excerpts from political newsletter "The Frontrunner" (danke, Nexis) which describes the interview as "contentious" (Fishbowl corroborates all tips, even parental ones. Though Dad agreed with "contentious"). Said contention/contentiousness probably seemed obvious when Letterman referred to O'Reilly's "friends in the Bush Administration" before asking O'Reilly about the Iraq war. Here's their exchange about Cindy Sheehan:

O'REILLY: We believe that the United States, particularly the military are doing a noble thing. The soldiers and Marines are noble. They're not terrorists. When people call them that, like Cindy Sheehan called the insurgents freedom fighters, we don't like that.

LETTERMAN: How can you possibly take exception with the motivation and the position of someone like Cindy Sheehan?

O'REILLY: Because I believe she's run by far-left elements in this country. I feel bad for the woman.

LETTERMAN: This fair and balanced -- I don't think you represent an objective viewpoint--

O'REILLY: You have to give me an example if you're going to make those statements--

LETTERMAN: But I don't watch your show so that would be impossible--

O'REILLY: Then why would you come to that conclusion if you don't watch the program?

LETTERMAN: because of things that i've read, things that I know--

O'REILLY: Oh, cmon. You're going to take things that you've read? You know what they say about you? C'mon. Look. Look. Watch it for half an hour, you'll get addicted, you'll be a Factor fan, we'll send you a hat.

Other notes: Letterman asked O'Reilly how his "holidays" were; O'Reilly responded that he'd had "a nice Winter Solstice," thus easing nicely into the "War on Christmas" debate which triggered the exchange mentioned above. Also, a note of comparison from my mom, who saw O'Reilly on Jon Stewart and thought it was "much more pleasant" (and please note that the audience booed O'Reilly on that show, and Jon asked him why he had to be "so angry"). Feel free to send me your own impressions of the show (and a screengrab would be great); otherwise, more excerpts after the jump.

Update: Here's a link to the vid and here's the transcript (thanks to Crooks & Liars for the pic).

Update to the update: An now, of course, there is the shirt.

Musical update: Apparently Paul Schaeffer struck up The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" (otherwise known as "Teenage Wasteland") for Bill's entrance. Hmm. Trying to figure out the significance of that (Thanks, rock n' roll tipster!).

continued...

Last night Jon Stewart went to town on NBC's Thanksgiving Day Parade coverage, in which Katie Couric, Matt Lauer and Al Roker failed to report that the M&M balloon had struck a lamppost in Times Square and injured an 11-year old girl and 26-year old woman (or, as we like to call it, "News You Can Use...Unless You're NBC"). Instead, NBC broadcast footage of last year's M&M balloon crossing the finish line (or, as we like to call it, "News You Can Use...From This Time Last Year"). OUCH.

Jon's theory: "I assume hit the lamppost because they weren't paying attention because they were too busy sodomizing each other - I don't think that parade's 'til June!" Which goes well with some choice Al Roker commentary:

"Will these classic candymen get out of this delicious dilemma? Hard to say, but when it comes to sweetness, yellow and red continue to melt your heart - but not in your hand."

After a few more banal soundbites, during which it is widely agreed that NBC made their on-air talent look like chumps, Jon unwittingly rains all over the anchor-mongering parade of late : "I don't know what those guys make on the Today show but whatever it is, it's not worth it" (I say "unwittingly" because we know Jon doesn't read print media. Otherwise he'd know what they all make!).

As a side note, this turkey (to flog a metaphor) has interesting timing as the rumors swirl about Katie Couric being wooed by CBS -- surely on accont of hard-hitting journalistic pieces like her Runaway Bride interview back in June. I'm gonna put it out there: I can't quite see it happening.

I am far less certain about another divisive issue, however: Is Adrien Brody hot? That nose! That beanpole bod! That frenetic, hummingbird-like quality! I never used to think so. Though to be fair, "The Pianist" was hardly a glamour vehicle. Nonetheless, his weird androgynous appeal was workin' for me last night, I must admit (though not the most compelling interviewee, sad to say). Hmm. Why not let the December cover of Men's Health cast the deciding vote. To the right, if you hadn't already noticed. Ah. Okay, then. (NB: The cover says that AB went from "Scrawny to Brawny!" So maybe the hotness is recent. Though I do remember appreciating those Ermenegildo Zegna ads.) In other news, I think Men's Health is my new favorite magazine.

There was more to The Daily Show, of course -- Rob Corrdry did a funny holiday shopping bit called "OK Consumer" which won big points for the title alone, about the annual rite of post-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, aka "Just Another Manic Black Friday and Cyber Monday." That was a blatant attempt to be the first person ever to combine Radiohead and The Bangles references in one paragraph. I defy you to find another. Otherwise, that was it - except for a very happy birthday to Jon! If you're wondering what to get him, I'd spring for a subscription to Men's Health. Scrawny to Brawny, Jon!

Enlarged cover pic of Adrien and his six-pack after the jump. Happy Late Thanksgiving Coverage!

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Our compatriots at Gawker espy a blurb on CNN about tonight's Anderson Cooper 360: apparently, tonight is all about spanking.

When we read that we felt the familiar tingle of déja vu; not because we're particularly susceptible to a paddling (we'll smack you back, hard) but because we remember seeing this before: specifically, last April, back when Anderson the Anti-Anchor was just a twinkle in Jon Klein's eye. From the first-ever Fishes (aw, we gotta bring those back), regard this quote:

Anderson Cooper: "To spank or not to spank?" We almost choked when our sweet Anderson uttered those words straight into the camera on CNN's 360 this past Wednesday, April 27th (we were already taken with his shimmery purple tie). Yes, it was to tease a segment on spanking and corporal punishment in parenting, but for a brief and blissful moment he was talking just to us.

Tonight, Anderson Cooper Gets Into Spanking [Gawker]

Earlier:
Anderson Cooper: "To spank or not to spank?" [FishbowlNY]

November 11th -- Veteran's Day, or "Remembrance Day" as we call it in Canada. Stephen Colbert had a real zinger on the subject, while lamenting that Veteran's Day sometimes slips through the cracks of our notice (unlike Labor Day, aka "Last Day to Wear White Pants"). Colbert notes, though, that "President Bush has a plan: Save Veteran's Day by creating thousands of new veterans!" Yikes. The Colbert Report does not shrink from the edgy. We'll have more on the CR later today with a report from our special correspondent on the ground (aka in the audience). In the meantime, if it's not an oxymoron then I wish you a happy Veteran's Day. Back later this morn.

Sometimes, you gotta take things as a sign. First I missed the "Colbert Report" premiere because I was in Canada, then my DVR went out, and now I'm in California and for some reason my hotel does not get Comedy Central. I want to bring you "Daily Show" and "Colbert Report" coverage -- oh how I do! -- but have been stymied by my lack of access and helpful technology.

So here's what I suggest: let's do this thing together, wiki-style.

You: Email me your choice tidbits from both shows, your random goofy screenshots, the things that made you howl. Me: Will receive, organize, and link them. Then me post. Then EVERYONE happy!

So far I got the news that Barack Obama flaked on Jon yesterday for some "vote" and "Senatorial responsibility" and that Stephen gave it to Canada again last night, something about Canadian women speaking really loudly because it's so cold. For the record, I have never been accused of speaking too loudly. Also for the record, I'm lying.

So let's do this! Be my eyes, ears and assiduously-typing fingers! Tell me what made you laugh, cry, and fiercely resolve to change this country for the better, or just start pronouncing things the French way. Let's wiki it on up, and do Michael Kinsley proud.

The party starts now, people. Bring it on.

p.s. Judy Miller, just for fun.

UPDATE: My Dad, to me: "Rachel, what are you talking about? I watched the Colbert report at 10:30 last night." Er, TVs are confusing. Upshot: TV guides are helpful, and so are Daddies.

UPDATE: We knew it wouldn't take long. From Fishtern Maureen Miller:

"The only thing more overrated than me is you."
-- Obama, to Stewart, at end of interview

"Couldn't get Obama live, could you?"
-- Colbert, to Stewart, on switch-off between shows

(Colbert calls Canada "our pale sister to the North" or something like that.)

More after the jump...

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Gentle Fishbowl readers may have noticed the dropoff in our "Daily Show" (and now "Colbert Report") coverage of late. Sadly, it's been due not to a lack of love for Jon's salt-and-pepper cuteness or Stephen's trusty (nay, trusti) truthiness, but rather the lack of workiness of our DVR. Fie on you, Time Warner!

We're looking forward to returning to our regularly-scheduled/totally erratic coverage, but in the meantime we thought we'd make amends by calling back to one of the more prescient gags that popped up on "The Daily Show" in September, in a report filed by Colbert no less, in which he alphabetized the various scandals of the Bush Administration thus far:

We thought we'd point out that they've added two more bona-fide disasters to the list, in bona-fide chronological order no less: "L" for "Libby" and "M" for "Miers." We're still very concerned about that yam shortage, though.

Sorry we're late with this bulletin. We're not even going to try to give an account of what happened when Ken Auletta interviewed Dick Parsons (other reporters have surely gone there). We'll just provide some pix. The event was Syracuse University's Newhouse School In New York Presents: Richard D. Parsons, Chairman & CEO, Time Warner, in conversation with Ken Auletta, author and New Yorker Annals of Communications Profile Writer & columnist.
It occurred at Bryant Park Grill, at 8 am.

That's Parsons. He's extremely tall and has very good posture. He's very smart, too, and funny.

This is Parsons with Cuomo.

This is John Sykes, of MTV.

This was the breakfast that was served. Yogurt and granola, fruit salad and pastries. Being health nuts ourselves, we approve!

Cosmo's Kate White in a leopard pattern.

This is Time Warner's Edward Adler. Sorry for the angle.

This was a very nice woman named LaVelle Olexa (great name!), who is an SVP at Lord & Taylor.

Ed Hersh, EVP at Court TV. He reads TVNewser.com!

Daniel L. Kile, PR, at The New Yorker and Matthew Flamm, Crain's New York Business.

Randolph Siegel, of Parade Magazine, sends a shout out to Jon Fine.

continued...

We've received a number of queries on the Colbert Report: what do we think? Do we like it? Does it have staying power? Are we developing unhealthy feelings towards it like we have for "The Daily Show?" Well, there's some truthiness to that last question, but we'll leave that aside and just feel our answer toward you: yes, we've been watching. And we've decided to give it a full week of eps before opiniong, since we are aware of just how influential our opinion is (ha).

Briefly, we like it. And we see the possibilities lurking beneath the one-note gag, which is that Stephen Colbert's outsize character is a massive egomaniac, and his ego is the filter through which all content is delivered (which I can see getting tiresome). But leave it to Fareed Zakaria to bring it up a notch and give Colbert something to actually chew on; he brought the money quote, right out of the gate last night:

Colbert: I have a question for you. The world: why should I care?
Fareed: Well, I don't know where to begin...there was that whole 9-11 thing...these guys--
Colbert: I'm aware.
Fareed: Avian flu, chickens around the world...*
Colbert: How's that gonna impact?
Fareed: --you die...(crowd laughs, perhaps a tad nervously). But you know for you, Stephen, one of the big trends taking place right now is this whole business of outsourcing. There are people around the world doing the same jobs that Americans do, for a lot less money. So I can imagine...there are funny people in Bangalore, willing to do your job for a tenth of your price.
Colbert: You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls.
Fareed: No...
Colbert: America will always lead the world in balls.
Fareed: They have men in Bangalore...
Colbert: (thinking it over) Uh-huh, hmmm...
Fareed: I'm sure-- you're funny, but you've gotta ask yourself, are you ten times funnier than the guy who's willing to do it...
Colbert: ...for ten times less?
Fareed: (as Colbert mulls) That's the kind of problem -- I don't know whether you'd have, but steelworkers are worried about this, carmaker workers are worried about this...so that's why you should care about the world.

And that is the crux about the Colbert report, for me, right now: I want it to be funny, and it is; but more than that, I want it to be funny ABOUT something.

So I'm giving it a week, and I'll let you know my impressions tomorrow. Until then, TVNewser has a few links to tide you over.

Update: Okay, I've given it my week. Episode Four totally converted me. Colbert's got the chops and so does his show. Why? I'll tell you when I finish cleaning my apartment, my mom is coming to visit. But I will say this: YES, Stephen Colbert -- I do want candy.

* NB: I keep rewinding this to take notes, and I just keep on wanting to add the word "Unite!"

I am officially plotzing. This could well be a kind of sequel to Jon's "Crossfire" appearance -- or it could be Rick Santorum all over again. I'm predicting the words "loofah" and "falafel" sneak in there somewhere, except replace the word "predicting" with "praying." This should be good.

Ladies and gentlemen, I had every intention of bringing the same ridiculous near-psychotic zeal that Fishbowl shows to "The Daily Show" to its much-anticipated spinoff, "The Colbert Report." Jon said goodnight to Dolly Parton, threw it to Stephen, the clock struck 11:30, I was ready.

Except in Toronto, they showed "Everybody Loves Raymond."

You know you're too emotionally invested in your blog when that makes you cry. Luckily I've got it DVR'd back at home in NYC, in the civilized world of my 400-square foot studio and daily terror alerts. If you can stand to wait, you'll get it on Wednesday. Oh, will you get it good.

Update: This is the report on the Report from a discerning viewer: "Saw the first episode of the Colbert Report with guest Stone Phillips - magical - hilarious - hopefully he can keep it fresh." Send me your impressions! Cutting and pasting quotes is almost like reporting!

Update to the Update: This from a keen-eyed reader (whom I suspect is Canadian): "I went to bed at the first commercial break -- eh? -- but had the good sense to turn the VCR on. Wow. Second half was terrific! Colbert interviewing Stone Phillips was great -- although poor Stone hardly got a word in -- and then the two of them did a "gravitas" bit in which they alternated reciting iconic bits from news shows ... mostly lead-ins to after-the-commercial continuations of typical Dateline/20-20/48Hours crapumentaries ... that were hilarious." Time Warner Cable, I'm comin' home to you soon. Wait for me...
(Mini-update: Oops - he's not Canadian, he's from Wisconsin.)

Update to the Update's Update: From my super-secret source at CNN, who also -- sacre bleu! -- watches Fox. But only to know what he's up against. His take on The Colbert Report:

"Not only does he do a GREAT O'Reilly impersonation, he makes li'l Bill look like a turd - though I doubt he and his audience get the joke. An excerpt...

"This show's not about me. No, this program is dedicated to you: the heroes. And who are the heroes? The people who watch this show: average, hardworking Americans. You're not the elites. You're not the country club crowd. I know for a fact that my country club would
never let you in. But you get it. And you come from a long line of 'it-getters.' You're the folks who say, 'something's got to be done.' Well, you're doing something right now. You're watching TV.

And on this show -- on this show your voice will be heard...in the form of my voice. 'Cause you're looking at a straight shooter, America. I tell it like it is. I calls 'em like I sees 'em. I will
speak to you in plain simple English.

And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness.

Now I'm sure some of the word police, the wordanistas over at Webster's are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word.' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I'm no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914. If I wanna say it happened in 1941, that's my right.

I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. 'Cause face it, folks, we're a divided nation. Not between Democrats and Republicans or conservatives and liberals or tops and bottoms. No. We are divided between those who think with their head and those who know with their heart."

The whole time he's saying this, the entire layout of the show looks exactly like "The Factor". Nice first stab, Stevie."

"Can I say something about "The Colbert Report"? I love it, but only if it doesn't mean every single episode isn't about Stephen Colbert touting himself. I know that's kind of the premise, and it worked for the maiden voyage, but it will get very old very fast. I hope they will be able to come up with more bonbons like "truthiness," "look it up in my gut," and "I'll feel the news at you." And the Stone Phillips material was brilliant. I don't think I've ever seen that man's teeth before!"