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Obama’s Cable News One-Liners from the 2014 White House Correspondents Dinner

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President Obama began his remarks at tonight’s White House Correspondents Dinner around 10:20pmET. C-SPAN, MSNBC, and CNN carried live coverage.

“I am a little jet-lagged for my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days. I think they are still searching for their tables.”

“MSNBC is here. They are a little overwhelmed. They have never seen an audience this big before.”

“Look, everyone is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on ‘Between two Ferns.’ To be fair, I am not the first person on television between two potted plants.” (Shows image above of the “Fox & Friends” anchors)

“Let’s face it, Fox, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.”

Later, “Community” star and “The Soup” host Joel McHale, the entertainment for the night, got in a few one-liners about cable news as well.

“I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC, Chris Hayes, he’s great. MSNBC is a confusing place. Al Sharpton is their skinny guy.”

“CNN is desperately searching for something they have been missing for months — their dignity. At this point, CNN is like the Radio Shack in a sad strip mall. You don’t know how it stayed in business so long, you don’t know anyone that shops there and they just fired Piers Morgan.”

“Fox News is the highest rated network on cable news. It’s all thanks to their key demographic, the corpses of old people who tuned in to Fox News and haven’t yet been discovered.

“Former ‘Inside Edition’ host Bill O’Reilly is not here. Bill’s got another book coming out soon, so he’s making his ghost writers work around the clock.”

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