Perhaps the most telling sign that the Quills was not going to be your typical awards show came early on. It wasn't the appearance of B-List - Okay, C-List grasping for higher ladder rungs - celebs like Jorge Cruz, Kamar De Los Reyes, S. Epatha Merkeson and Donald Trump on the red carpet, or even the presence of a red carpet both outside and inside the American Museum of Natural History. It was the tiering of media credentials. So sure, I'll take my share of blame for thinking that getting access to the red carpet also meant having a seat for the awards ceremony, but it meant that I had to engage in some serious cajoling and fast-talking (the likes of which caused Crimespree photographer Mary Reagan to marvel at my skills.)

But really, that's a minor issue. More to the point is that, well, there really wasn't much of one for this particular awards ceremony. Last year's inaugural Quills ran long (folks grumbled that it went past eleven on a weeknight) and this year's came pretty close to the penultimate witching hour, broken down as follows: astonishingly long cocktail hour, doors opening at 8, rushed appetizers as half the awards were given out, interminably long dinner hour, more awards. American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino butchered "Summertime" in grotesque fashion (really, my dear, playing it subtle works so much better.) Lewis Black cracked jokes about candy corn. Mary Matalin tried to compare Kim Jong-Il to her famously Democrat husband, but that didn't quite come off. Never mind the TelePrompter gaffes and those who couldn't speak into the mike.

But again, these things happen. And there were funny moments, such as Janet Evanovich throwing out the script because "I'm from Jersey, I don't friggin' say these lines." Or Daniel Handler skipping to the stage to accept the children's book award on Lemony Snicket's behalf then embracing the sheer spectacle that is the awards: "Viva La Quills!" And there were touching moments, like Caroline Kennedy (above) accepting the Platinum Quill and a well-done bit about library restoration post-Katrina in New Orleans. But when roughly 2/3 of the award winners don't show up and there's a decidedly desperate feeling in the air...

So what's wrong with this picture?

AP's Hillel Italie probably said it best: even though the Quills were created in an attempt to make publishing awards more glamorous and accessible, so far they have attracted little attention beyond the publishing industry, with virtually no sales impact for nominated books. Comscore Networks, Inc., an Internet research firm that monitors Web traffic, was unable to compile any numbers on visits to the Quills links, saying low traffic was the likely reason.

In other words, for an awards ceremony ostensibly about readers, it's anything but. That $500,000 splurged on renting out the museum, on making sure everyone had filet mignon for dinner and for appropriate security measures? It's not for readers and never will be, no matter how many people get up to thank all those bookbuyers responsible for adding to their coffers.

So perhaps it's time for the Quills to change its focus while things are still early going in its history. Sure, it's all well and good to celebrate books that are supremely popular, that sell a lot of copies, that make publishers happy. Hey, that's what the British Book Trade Awards do. But the difference is that the Nibbies, for the most part, don't pretend to cater to the reader. Drop the pretense - and the pricetag, and the amount of time spent waiting for the damn thing to be over - and maybe the Quills will, someday, have a point beyond mere conspicous consumption and phantom back-patting.