The Church's move today against "The DaVinci Code" baffles us on many levels.

For one, there's the E! reportage,

"Monsignor Angelo Amato, the number two official in the Vatican's powerful doctrinal office, has urged Catholics everywhere to boycott the upcoming Tom Hanks film on the basis that it patently "offended" the Christian faith."

"Powerful doctrinal office?" What's so powerful about it? As a former Catholic myself, I'm couldn't even hazard a guess at what this means. Does E! think that whenever the Vatican suggests something, a Popesignal is shined up into the firmament, activating the boycott chip that lodged in the cortex of every Catholic?

Like we said, baffled.

Then there's the obliqueness of the comment: Why not have the Pope just come out and say it his holy self? Why have some faith-lackey do it, if Tom Hanks' is so patently offensive? Besides, Tom Hanks? This softie is offensive? Are you kidding me? He's a candidate for canonization based on the Times essay alone.

And finally, there's the whole Palpatine / Pope thing. You'd think that a guy who looks so much like the Emperor would be a movie lover, not a hater.