Tick tock. In an announcement that is the cruelest kick to unemployed writers since the strike - starting at 5:30PM - Starbucks will close to re-train their baristas (Italian for 'when slow gets screamed at').

They call it 're-training' - some writers call it 'eviction'.

From the Seattle Times:

"We will have all new standards for how we create the drinks," said spokeswoman Valerie O'Neil. "They will be trained in creating the perfect shot, steaming the milk and all the pieces that come together in a drink."

Not that we're smarty pants or know-it-alls - but Starbucks can't train people after hours? Or before - hiring? Or after - hiring? But rush hour?! It would seem harsh if there wasn't a Peet's and Coffee Bean on every other corner.

Some Starbucks competitors are taking note.

From the OC Register's Fast Food Maven Blog:

Underscoring that heated rivalry, Dunkin' Donuts said Monday that it will sell a small latte, espresso or cappuccino for 99 cents today from1 p.m. to 10 p.m. The offer is clearly aimed at wooing Starbucks customers left hanging during tonight's three-hour shutdown.
"Dunkin' Donuts wants to ensure that no coffee lover is denied a delicious espresso-based beverage," the company said in a statement. (FYI: Dunkin' Donuts does NOT operate in Southern California.)

Yes, Starbucks customers. We wonder if the Piggly Wiggly and Waffle House will try and woo them as well. Bet they don't have WiFi.

If your boss offers to treat you at Starbucks--why not go for the 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel?

Grist.org's founder, Chip Giller is the latest to be quoted on a disposable Starbucks cup:

So-called "global warming" is just a secret plot by wacko tree huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st-century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!

Apartment Therapy doesn't see the irony here, but we do, because we've noticed the small print:

The opinions put forth by contributors to The Way I See It do not necessarily reflect the views of Starbucks.