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Darwin was right

Thursday Jul 03, 2008

Happy Independence Day Eve

USFlagHummer.jpg
It occurred to us yesterday that 600 Starbucks closing and SUV sales tanking, really has marked a sea change. It's the end of an era. It's the end of the time where Americans could commute in a RV while drinking a $10 cup of joe, borrow against their interest-only sub-prime mortgage and rest assured they would all be taken care of in their cushy print newspaper job. Nope those days are over. Not to be here again.

But as much as we see the harsh, brutal winds of change blowing...and uhm just blowing. There are some hold outs to the old ways. We read this story, and it could only happen in America. And as we celebrate our independence, let us pause and think about this:

From CNSNews.com:

Group Asks for Divine Intervention to Ease Oil Prices

The Pray at the Pump Movement, founded by Rocky Twyman, has been holding prayer vigils at gas stations across the country. On Monday, Twyman decided to take his movement from Exxon and Shell stations straight to the steps of the Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C., hoping to encourage the oil-rich country to raise the amount of barrels they release each day from 200,000 to 1.2 million.

Praying at/to the Saudis? Yes we can. Yeah, we did. Yes we have.

People do.

Happy Independence Day.

Thursday Jun 05, 2008

According to Sources FBLA Part of Conspiracy to Keep Bilderberg Secret

We received this in our inbox:

Subject: Why are you scared to cover Bilderberg/NWO meeting in D.C. now... Bilderberg, Shadow Super-government:

It was particularly difficult this year to find out when and where the annual conclave of world powerbrokers, the Bilderberg Group, would take place. Finally, it appears certain that the highly secret meeting of western political-military elites will take place from June 5 - 8 in Chantilly, Virginia, near Washington, in a luxury hotel immersed in nature, the Westfield's Marriott.

Bilderberg is routinely attended by the world's top CEO's, Prime Minsters, Presidents, NATO officials, UN officials, Federal Reserve members, European Central Bank heads, banking heads, oil heads, University Professors, as well as people like Henry Kissinger, David Rockefeller and Bill Gates.

continued...

Tuesday Apr 08, 2008

McCain Girls - Raining McCain

We'll warn you to turn down the sound for this one. Not all the way off...just down.

We can't decide if this is an example, metaphor or parable for this election...or even if that matters.

But we are scared for what they would do to a candidate they don't like.

Tuesday Apr 01, 2008

Sam Zell's Idea of a Joke

samzellimage.jpgThe Tribune Co. issued this April Fool's Day press release:

TRIBUNE COMPANY ANNOUNCES NAME CHANGE Zell Tells Employees of Switch in an Email;

Company Announces Revenue Generating Efforts To Offset Debt

CHICAGO, April 1, 2008 -- Tribune Company, the largest employee-owned media company in the nation, today announced it has changed its name to ZellCoMediaEnterprises Inc. or ZCMEINC. Zell, who made a fortune in real estate before deciding he'd like to dabble in an industry completely unfamiliar to him, announced the change in his record-setting 437th email to exhausted employees this year.

"H---, I put $315 million into this thing, and we're on the hook for $13 billion -- the least I ought to get is my name on the company's stationery," said Zell, who remains chairman and CEO of the newly named enterprise.

Which would be funny, if it were not totally and maddeningly possible.

Thursday Mar 27, 2008

State Department Snooped on Anna Nicole

_44517652_1ansmithap203c.jpgA week after reports revealed US state department workers improperly snooped into the passport files of three presidential candidates, word is out that those rights-violating little buggers got their noses in Anna Nicole Smith's files too.

According to the AP, Smith was not alone (she rarely ever was):

State department officials told AP the review involved several hundred US citizens whose passport files are flagged for extra protection because of their prominence. These people include politicians, entertainers and athletes. Accessing their files triggers an automatic record that it has been viewed.

Celebrities getting their privacy violated? Get out of town! (And don't forget your passport!)

Tuesday Mar 04, 2008

Nicole Richie's Baby Officially Better Than Christina Aguilera's

28868033947c737544fd94.jpgPeople magazine devoted a cover each to new moms Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera, who each delivered their spawn a day a part at Cedars Sinai.

Both mammas sold their baby's first pics for obscene sums, but in Nicole's case, that might have been a good investment for the mag, which is on target to sell more than 1.8 million copies.

Aguilera's numbers, it's been widely reported, have been far more disappointing.

We'd feel bad reducing a child's value to a dollar sign -- if the moms hadn't beaten us to it.

Thursday Feb 28, 2008

NIMH Physicist says Be Kind Rewind is Fiction!--No Such Thing as Magnetized Brain

bekindrewind_robocop.jpg

Turns out the whole premise behind Be Kind Rewind isn't based in scientific fact! In the movie, Jack Black--with a brain magnetized by a civil disobedience act gone wrong--erases all the tapes in a Passaic, NJ video store, thus impelling the re-shooting of all the movies destroyed.

According to professional spoil-sport Jeremy Berlin, no way, Jose. He cites Jerzy Bodurka, a Polish physicist who works at the National Institute of Mental Health:

Overall, soft brain tissue has weak diamagnetic properties and cannot be magnetized to [that] level. If it could, then the kitchen, the mechanical shop, the hardware store, and many other places would be very dangerous environments for all human beings. So the answer to that question is NO.
In a few dozen years, or perhaps sooner, when nanotechnology, robotics, and power-generation technologies advance into something like a human-machine hybrid...such a hybrid [could] have a part of its body--say, an arm-equipped not with a deadly gun or flamethrower (like that cute-but-dangerous lady aka Terminator 3) but with a magnetic conduit.

That explains so much.

Wednesday Feb 27, 2008

Call Me Daddy and Show Me the Money Say Celeb Sperminators

Trend watch: knock her up to seal the deal. Baby daddies are sowing their seed everywhere, it seems.

britneyadnan.jpg

Britney Spears is allegedly preggers by maybe-husband Adnan Ghalib (can she even spell that?):


"Britney is Adnan's dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he'll be made for life," one friend of Adnan's tells the Star.

and that's what a friend says.

One time hotshot Jeff Stein is hitching his wagon to Angela Janklow's star, with a baby on the way.

JanklowStein.jpg

Who wouldn't want a mini-version of these guys?

Wednesday Feb 13, 2008

Stuff We Think Is Stupid

adfstupied.jpgThis ad for Hillary Clinton.

This latest ploy by the Orange County Register to lose money, readers and self-respect.

The admonition, following Sam Zell's visit to the L.A. Times, that colorful language and a love of pussy were the purview of the king, not the hoi polloi.

The Hilton family.

Friday Feb 01, 2008

We Paid $25,000 For Britney Spears?

35079704.jpg


E! Online's The Answer Bitch (aka Leslie Gornstein) has the breakdown:

* a dozen LAPD motorcycles and squad cars
* one helicopter
* a special mental health unit
* and the ambulance

The estimated cost: $25,000, according to the L.A. Times. But the police tell the Answer Bitch that that money was well spent:


The last time Britney had to go to the hospital -- on Jan. 3 -- the scene got pretty nuts.

One photographer even attempted to jump on top of Spears' ambulance, Aguirre tells me. "At that point we were out-resourced," Aguirre explains, and the police didn't want that to happen again.

She may have a point: After Britney's first hospital haul on Jan. 3, another city government source tells me, police and city hall types were abuzz that the paparazzi had endangered the operation.

Maybe. But considering, we've never even coughed up the $20 for one of her albums, we still feel like we want our money back. Or at least some store credit at Amoeba.

Earlier:
Obligatory Britney Spears Post


Previously

NBC To Stop Producing Pilots

The Future of Celebrity Journalism: Young Interviewer Confuses John Cusack With Kevin Spacey

Mystery Weight Loss Expert Offers Writers Diet Advice

Martha Stewart and the True Meaning of Christmas (In Prison)

Stuff We've Been Too Sick To Blog 3: ERS "Investigates" Breasts

Not Something You'd Find On Our Job Boards: Final Cut Pros -- In Bikinis

Michael Vick-- Nobody's Best Friend

Why We (Heart) Nikki Finke

Paris Hilton Goes To County To "Prove" Herself To The Press

Sony Dumbs Down Jeopardy With Google's Help

Playmate of the Year Party: Not Unlike a Long Island Bat Mitzvah

Cougar Cattle Call -- Docu To "Empower" Single MILFs

You Rule The World

Reason # 765 to Hate the Oscars

Is Zsa-Zsa Gabor's Husband Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Daddy?

K-Fed Can't Even Flip Burgers Without Getting Booed

Lindsay Lohan Hospitalized -- This Time For Medical Reasons

Christmas Came Early For Claire

Did Borat Come Between Pam and Kid Rock?

Snoop Dogg-- Where's He Going, And What Does He Plan To Do Once He Gets There?

Stylephile Makes Misplaced Butt Crack re: Farrah Jeans

Wesley Snipes Indicted for Tax Fraud

No Free Nasty BIts In California

Steve-O --A Man and His Mark

Paris Hilton Needs Help--and a Mojito

Britney, Baby, Insert Bad Joke Here

BH City Manager is Stoned

Oh, No! It's Kato

David Copperfield (Poof!) Appeared In Our In-Box

Have I Got A Goy For You!--Mel

Deuce Bigelow Wants Universe To Know He's Not a Bigot

Mel and the Devil You Know

More Mel For Your Morning

Arianna Declares "I'm Sane--Mel, Too!"

GroBust Doll Grows Lust for Boob Man

Get A Piece of Paris--on Ebay

More Mel Madness

Mel Gibsons Say the Darndest Things

Moratorium

Craigslist Seeks Tough-Skinned Mime

All the Reality, All the Time

Be a Star--thanks to Craig!

Angelenos Bursting With Hometown Pride

Chinese woman makes martini olive out of husband

The Cruise to nowhere? Actor's reps offer clues as to how to rehab the world's biggest star...

Snakes on a motherf@#%ing plane!

Wack-o Jack-o in Tokyo

Stone cold despite Hurricane Hugo's hot air

Madonna: Criticized for "Christ-bashing"

Cue the "Oops, I did it again" headlines

The job interview from hell, courtesy of the BBC

Kanye: We're not sayin' he's a gold digger...

Sphere factor causes "Blaine damage"

A Scanner Dooby: Cohen succeeds Gill

EXCLUSIVE - Warner Bros. to Mark Gill: "Good night, and good luck."

David Copperfield empties his pockets for robbers; David Blaine empties his heart for New Yorkers

Cover your Mass.: Captive audience wasn't ready for "Brokeback"

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