This kind of wire story always slays us: Utterly subjective, totally unproveable and deliciously bitchy. In other words, we're sure it'll be picked up by every major new organization.

"Many stars become bad signers once fame and fortune hits, but not Depp. He's even signed autographs for crowds at the airport while carrying luggage," said Steve Cyrkin, editor and publisher of the Santa Ana, Calif.-based magazine Autograph Collector, adding, "Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress, but she's persistently a terrible signer. Instead of just turning down a person's autograph request, she'll lecture them about how dumb autographs are," Cyrkin said."

We're surprised and a little disappointd that Alan Alda made the list of worst signers. He kind of impressed us with an interview he did with NPR last year to promote his memoir, "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, and Other Things I've Learned."

Alda was gracious and funny and self-effacing about fame, and revealed something about the disorientation that all people suffer when they come face-to-face with someone who previously only existed on TV. As Alda recounted, it's so dizzying to meet someone famous - anyone - that people would often approach him and blurt out, "You're my biggest fan!"

Incidentally, the signature below the photo of Depp's? It's Diaz's. Weirdly similar, right?