The Grammys might be over, but we’re not over the Grammys. Not while The Johnny Lopez is blogging the evening. Lopez nails everyone and everything:

Carrie Underwood–Another CONTEST WINNER gets her Grammy. She gave the best impersonation of Reese Witherspoon’s “Walk the Line” performance I’ve ever seen. Yes Carrie, you can sing at the Grammys…just not your own songs! How much you wanna bet she has a sex tape?!

Gnarls Barkley–Or was it Big Gay Al Roker?

Pussycat Dolls–Every single one of them looks like a “Pretty Woman,” if you know what I’m saying! Do they still charge by the hour if you splurge for all of them?

FBLA wants watch the Oscars with Johnny.

Grammys night was ladies’ night, with Mary J. Blige and the Dixie Chicks, giving stunning performances and heartfelt acceptance speeches.

But some of the female artists looked like they were just waiting for the night to end so they could slink back into their sweat pants. (We’re looking at you, Carrie Underwood.)

Beyonce sings her heart out, and Carrie Underwood looks bored. Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder get an award — that Stevie dedicates to his dead mom — and Carrie Underwood looks bored. The camera pans to Prince, who is sitting right in front of Carrie Underwood, and she smiles. And then looks bored. (Good thing the camera didn’t cut to her during that interminably boring John Mayer/Corrine Bailey Rae/John Legend act).

Even when she took the stage to accept her own awards and perform those purdy country songs, Carrie Underwood looked bored. Jesus, take the wheel; Carrie’s too bored to drive.

Saturday night found everyone but a hung-over indisposed Justin Timberlake at Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy bash, Jennifer Hudson was in full voice, as were The Blackeyed Peas and Smokey Robinson. Davis, known for speechifying to the max, dedicated the evening to Ahmet Ertegun.

Maria Villar, the other resident of Franklin Avenue, was nominated for a Grammy for her design of Rhino’s boxed set, Girl Group Sounds Lost and Found. She didn’t win, but she looked hot.

Marc Malkin thinks Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are an item. Ryan Seacrest asked Mayer directly, and got an answer in Japanese. Or maybe an order for Nobu to go.

The Envelope’s Jeff Miller sorts best, worst and who cares? moments. In no particular order: Police reunite, Joan Baez compares Dixie Chicks to Woody Guthrie and Carrie Underwood thanks Simon Cowell after her folks and the supreme deity.

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