Ooohh boy. Apparently Us Weekly‘s most recent cover, featuring Elton John posed with husband and son, is too much for customers of the popular Arkansas chain store Harps. The store had to install a “family shield” in front of the cover to protect children from seeing THE GAYS!!!

In fairness, it doesn’t sound like the store took the initiative on this one. The website CoverAwards called the cashier at the Harps store in question, who said customers had been complaining about the cover, demanding something be done.

“We’re in a no win situation,” she said, adding she thought it was ridiculous that anyone would complain. “They’re going to have to know at some point [about gay families].”

Sadly, that’s not true. There’s a tried and true method of dealing with the “gay problem” in most of the country: allow your jocks to gay bash the shit of anyone remotely funny-seemin’ in high school and they’ll all leave once they graduate. That is if they don’t commit suicide first.

Oh, rednecks. You’d almost be funny if you weren’t so mean and ignorant.