Best. job. ever?
Human capital marketing firm Starr Tincup is looking for a marketing intern.
But not just any intern…
You will not be getting coffee. You will not be relegated to a hidden cubicle in a dark corner, with nothing to do but check your fantasy football team stats / surf MySpace (depending on your gender).
See any of the actual jobs and take it down by about 25 percent. You’ll be doing that … and occasionally getting coffee—DAMMIT, did we already say you wouldn’t be doing that?!?!?! Screw it—you better make a sweet caramel macchiato.
You’ll need thick skin and the ability to be told, “That sucks. Do it again!” 15 times a day without breaking down in tears. Seriously, we can’t take it when people cry. We understand it’s a perfectly normal human response to any number of situations, we’ve just been emotionally dead for so long it reminds us of what it was once like … before she entered our lives ….
If you aren’t qualified for this position, you aren’t qualified for much outside of the drive-thru at Taco Bell. But my cousin used to work there and he said it isn’t bad money—if you’re 16. Plus, who doesn’t like free Gorditas?
Above average intelligence never hurts. How would you know? Think back to grade schoolâ€”ever been in a gifted and talented program? No? Well … this is awkward ….
- And it’d be nice if you were an M.B.A. student. It really helps the non-M.B.A. account managers and directors with their ego issues.
- You’ll also need an idea of what you want to learn … or not. Maybe you want to be a jack-of-all-trades and master-of-none. Who are we to judge? Speaking of judging, one final caveat: you need to be photogenic. Take that how you will, we’re just putting it out there. Still interested? Send an email compiling your education, work history and personal information (some would call that a résumé, but such proletarian thinking is snuffed out with haste around here) to firstname.lastname@example.org. If it doesn’t suck completely we’ll be in touch.
We talked to ST director of marketing Mark Mitchell, half of the team doing the hiring for this internship, about the position. “Obviously its tongue in cheek,” he says, “but we’ve found that it’s difficult if we try to list everythnig they could be doing. The internship does change from semester to semester in terms of what they’re focusing on,” which is part of the reason why, he says, the listing’s so vague in terms of actual job duties.
And what about the photogenic part? “A lot of people have commented on that,” he says. The addition was a joke, and that’s fine with them: “I’m sure that we could [get sued], but that’s not usually one of the things we’re concerned most about. If we had a legal department, I’m sure they would be pulling their hair out and screaming at us…”