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Artest Officially 'Metta World Peace' as of Today

Take note, media members: From this day forward, the basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest should henceforth be called “Metta World Peace” in all news stories. Yes, Artest’s name change becomes official today. “Metta” is a Buddhist term for “kindness,” while “world peace” is what Rita and Phil toast to in “Groundhog Day.”

Artest is also reportedly changing his uniform number from 15 to 70.

“I’m changing it to 70 because it’s like something to do with the universe,” Artest said. “Everything kind of repeats itself. The universe is one. It’s the same thing. Healthy minds, just keeping the kids positive.”

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