Publishing Insights From Across The Pond

RELATED: Publish Your Freelance Work Abroad

So here is a field guide for any journo looking to make the switch -- how to handle the ups, downs, nuances and etiquette of being a journalist on either side of the Atlantic. Although we often love to talk of our 'special relationship,' when it comes to magazines, newspapers, Web sites -- and office politics -- we really are a world apart.

Meetings
In the U.K., meetings are generally considered a waste of time: an hour-eating exercise in pompous rhetoric by an over-controlling boss, made worse by the mumbled snivels of agreement unleashed by unpopular team members who would like to climb the career ladder and don't have the talent to get up to the top on intelligence and hard work alone.

In the U.S., I've noticed an absolute adoration for time spent in a conference room. The longer the lovelier, and if you can somehow figure out a way to hold a meeting to prep for the meeting before a really big meeting, bravo! Meetings seem to be particularly popular when held in the morning -- and there's a genuine reason for Dunkin' Donuts to provide calorie-loaded refreshments. Yum.

Making decisions
In the U.K., decisions are taken quickly, on gut and often without much forethought or fear. This makes getting things done quickly very easy. However, it does mean us Brits tend to make the wrong choice 10 percent of the time. While we've made our choice, implemented the decision, seen it work, then fail, and rearranged it more agreeably, you Yanks are still in the boardroom, munching on donuts and discussing the whole thing in a yet another meeting. But at least, when you do make a decision a few months later, it will probably be the right one.

Hot stories
A U.K. journo loves nothing more than a twisted tale of a soccer star, a Page Three girl and an outraged vicar. If you can squeeze a cup of tea and a gay marriage in there too, you're golden. We like cheeky gossip of the 'naughty but nice' variety. Brit journos want to make their readers laugh. U.S. editors are far more serious; after all, journalism and writing in general is regarded in much higher esteem over here. Rather than sleaze, what really works here is triumph over tragedy and being saved by God. In the U.K., we love a tragedy over a triumph -- just to make sure no one is getting too big for their boots.

Journalistic fuel
We love a drink, us Brits, and British journos are particularly fond of a long lunch at J Sheekey's or Carluccio's in Canary Wharf. We wholeheartedly believe that a few glasses (or bottles) of wine, can lead to greater creativity and more nimble fingertips on a keyboard. If you need to have a little nap in the afternoon, who cares? The Japanese actually encourage their staff to take a little snooze, and look how successful they are! When we're not looking for sustenance in a glass, we believe that a 'full English' (baked beans, sausages, mushrooms and the like) starts the day right. Drinking doesn't seem to be so encouraged here in NYC, especially during the day. Instead, journos are expected to live off Chinese takeout, tacos and copious amounts of carbonated drinks. I'm still not sure which route is best.

Daily routine
Everything must stop at 4 p.m. for tea and cake: That is the rule in London media. If you're short on cake, a crumply piece of shortbread, or a chocolate hobnob will suffice. Rich tea biscuits on the other hand will not (they are no good for dunking) and if that's all that is available, it might be worth shutting up shop and heading to the pub for a swift half instead. In NYC at 4 p.m., if at all possible, media women sneak off to a television to watch Oprah -- the queen of all things inspirational and popular. American journos dream of the day they have the time to finally write a book that gets reviewed on Oprah's show and will therefore become a best seller overnight.

Worst moment
Being dissed on Page Six is a horrifying wake-up call in NYC (although it will garner you some kind of respect amongst your media-savvy network of buddies), while being ironically derided in Private Eye magazine is a toe-curling moment for every sensitive U.K. media doyenne.

Hell on earth
In the U.K., when media businesses are sent off to grim suburban towns such as Croydon or Harlow, their employees weep into their brown boxes and sadly get on the M25 freeway, reciting their updated CV into their Dictaphone. The U.S. equivalent is New Jersey, where editors and art directors alike are tempted to throw themselves over the bridge as they leave Manhattan island for their new life across the water.

Life goal
Exhausted hacks in England dream of writing their memoirs in The Cotswolds or North Norfolk, by the sea, or being offered a makeover show by the BBC where they get paid a lot to act like they know everything. In the U.S., all a stressed-out media worker really wants is three things: a bigger office with a view of a city landmark, a corporate account at Dishes, and the ability to get to their therapist on time every week. Oh, and to be able to turn their Blackberry off at weekends would be nice too.