Many of us are in full-blown detox mode from the Iowa Caucuses. After months of buildup, several reporters are ready to move on. MSNBC’s Luke Russert started moving on before the caucuses even happened. On Tuesday afternoon, Russert began tweeting news stories from the District of Columbia and the 49 states OTHER than Iowa to “slow down the Iowa hype.” Some of the hard hitting reporting included a story from the state of Georgia, where someone found a broken syringe in a pair of bedroom slippers in a Wal-Mart. Then, there’s the state of Montana, where Luke tells us the heartwarming story of wolves helping trees regrow in Yellowstone National Park. Too cerebral? How about this story from Tennessee where a man assaults his brother with a BBQ fork? To Russert’s credit, he seriously commits to this bit and runs through ALL of the states. He even adds in a final non-political beer review from Iowa. Thanks, Luke. We’re gonna need that beer to wash the bad taste of all those tweets out of our mouths.

Russert then takes a swerving turn into WTFville, by tweeting this

Condolences to my friend @terrellowens on the loss of his grandmother tonight. May she be risen.

— Luke Russert (@LukeRussert) January 4, 2012

Luke Russert is friends with washed-up NFL Wide Receiver Terrell Owens? Luke needs to be careful or he’s going to break a toe dropping names like that. Also, May she be risen? Despite extensive office polling, introspection and mindful Googling, we have to ask, did Russert just wish for Terrell’s zombie grandmother to come back to life to vote in the Iowa Caucuses? We’re beyond confused.