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Michaele Salahi: Kidnapped?

Amber Platinum Alert: Michaele Salahi has been kidnapped!  Or so says her fame-whoring, pathological husband Tareq Salahi.  Although the ‘Real Housewife of DC’ has been in touch with both her hubby and local law enforcement, Tareq believes she’s being held against her will and was FORCED to make calls confirming her safety.  According to TMZ, Michaele left to get her hair did with a stolen credit card yesterday but never showed for her appointment and has been missing since.

As we understand it, WaPo’s Amy Argetsinger is Tareq’s top suspect.  Okay, that’s not true but we wish it was.

 

From TMZ:

Tareq has issued a statement saying, “We are reaching to the public pleaing [sic] desperately for your help.

It is our belief as of last night, that Michaele Salahi may have been kidnapped or abducted and being held under duress and forced to tell persons, including authorities she is okay.

We are asking the public to please be on the look out for her, and if found please contact the authorities and please approach her and contact the authorities to intervene and that she may be forced to say she is okay, when in fact she is not and being held under possible abduction.

The Salahi family can be reached at 540-635-9933.”

We’re fairly certain Tareq’s kidnapping claims are bogus because a) he’s a no-talent assclown who will do anything to see his name in a headline b) any kidnapper would be rendered helpless if Michaele simply broke out her hot moves while singing her hit single “Bump It.” c) we’re not that lucky.

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