On the TMZZY Awards ballot, Balloon Dad (Richard Heene) is currently dead last in the online voting for “Best Mug Shot of 2010.” But that isn’t stopping pops from trying to get his son’s mug out there, again.
Seven-year-old Falcon Heene, alongside older brothers Ryo (10) and Bradford (11), has been repackaged as a boy band, Bear Scratch. The ridiculous name – and first single title – comes from a patent-pending product ($19.99) invented by dad, a stand-alone wooden post that people can rub up against to scratch their backs.
Papa Bear’s willingness to whore out his sons as a lower-grade version of The Hansens (with editing by mom) is frightening beyond belief. The Heene clan may have moved from Colorado to Florida, but the song remains the same. Run for the Everglades, boys. Run for the Everglades!!!