Sometimes when you say the word “networking“, you can actually see people shudder.
There aren’t many terms that bring up such acute feelings of dread for so many people. And if you’ve ever had to stand in a corner at an event wondering how to approach someone, the anxiety can be all too real.
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But you’re also not alone. Most people don’t relish the activity. And what’s more, people are coming to realize that relying too much on networking can actually exclude people.
Recently I interviewed someone building an LGBTA+ technologist community. She explicitly told me she wouldn’t be planning happy hour events. Why not? Because too much networking discourages introverts and people uncomfortable discussing their queer or trans identity. Instead, the group focuses on open hacking and resource sharing.
It’s great that communities are harnessing new ways to connect. But odds are, everyone still needs networking at some point. Whether it’s for finding jobs, funding, or finding mentors, the fact is that networking is often your gateway to resources.
The bottom line is that no one says you have to enjoy doing it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be good at it. So if you want to dread less and do more, here are the three skills you need to network like a boss.
1. Lay Your Groundwork
This first step is crucial, and time-consuming. Laying the groundwork is about setting yourself up to make a plan, and be able to answer questions about yourself.
Start with social media. Do you have any public channels people can check out? Make sure you know what job seekers should and shouldn’t include on their social profiles. Start producing content so people can get a sense of your interests, and make sure to add a profile picture. Don’t forget to be professional — if you have a Facebook, consider adjusting your privacy settings to “friends only”. We’ve never seen anyone get a job from their personal social media, but we have seen plenty of people lose out on opportunities because the tone of their Facebook account didn’t mesh with the company culture.
The next step is to update your resume and your LinkedIn. Design your resume in whatever format works for you — MS Word, an online resume maker like Cvmkr, or a free design tool like Canva. At the end of the day, it should be one page, clean, and well-articulated. Your LinkedIn is arguably more important, and if you don’t have one, sign up for an account today.
Once you do, read up on how to make your LinkedIn profile work harder for you — most people set it up once and never touch it again.
The earlier you do all of this, the better. Start now (after finishing this article). And remember — this is about continuity. Schedule time to post on social media and keep your LinkedIn current.
2. Do Your Homework
This is the next important step, and it’s also the one you’re least likely to have learned in college. After you’ve started establishing a digital presence, it’s time to figure out what you want.
Figure out what your goal is. Are you looking to get hired? To get advice on a project? Nail down the industries you’re operating in, and learn the names that shape them. Follow the social media of your industry’s trendsetters to stay on top of new developments, and learn which news outlets cover them. Professional associations are another underused resource — most industries have at least one, and joining puts you in proximity to exactly the people you want to meet.
Once you have a better feel for the landscape, you’ll know who you want to talk to. Maybe it’s the professor who wrote the eminent research paper on your topic. Maybe it’s an employee at the company you’ve decided you really want to work for. But until you do your research, you won’t know for sure — and you won’t be able to hold a good conversation once you meet them. Our guide on how to research a company before reaching out is a useful starting point.
And perhaps most importantly: prepare for every networking conversation you’re having, if you know about it in advance. Know who the people are, their companies, and their career paths. Make special note of common connections that may create a bond — a shared alma mater, a mutual friend or colleague, or even if you grew up near each other.
3. Get Out There (and Follow Up)
That brings us to the last step: The Conversation.
This last step can seem ominous. But the standards of conduct are pretty simple: if it’s an event, follow the dress code; if it’s an appointment, be on time; if it’s an informal meeting, offer to buy coffee. When it comes to working a room at events and conferences, a little preparation goes a long way.
As for the talking part? Just do your best to reach out and introduce yourself. Tell them who you are, what you do, and what you’re looking for. Ask them about themselves, about their work, about that new development that just published in Wired. Be an active listener and don’t do all the talking. And perhaps the best advice: ask for advice and guidance — do not be transactional. If you want to do this without it feeling awkward, here’s how to network without the cringe.
Most importantly, be yourself and try to enjoy it. You’ve done all the heavy lifting preparing for this conversation. You’re ready for it, and you’re ready to learn what you came there for. If appropriate, give them your contact information and thank them when you leave.
The crucial part is remembering to follow up.
If you met someone, had a good conversation, and you think there’s a chance they can help you out, send them an email that same day. If you met someone and you don’t think they can help you? Send them an email anyway.
It’s not always about finding the exact person you need right now (although that’s nice). It’s about building a community that knows you and can pass opportunities your way. Sometimes the accidental meet-ups become the most fruitful ones, just further down the line.
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