Nothing like blasphemy in the morning, eh? This little girl's argument for the rejection of Christ is a convincing one, but a little weak when it comes to the logic factor. Both Christ and Bacon promise something we perceive as happiness. The former wants you to have forever-happiness (but the faith part means there's no guarantee) whereas with bacon, you get your pay-off immediately. It's a toss up.

As an aside, I happened to catch part of Arnold Schwarzenegger's "End of Days" last night, so I'm a little scared right now.

Via BuzzFeed

More: "KFC Creates Sandwich Stoners Everywhere Invented Years Ago"

Word came in this morning that Razorfish created a new position, presumably to bring the agency further into the social media fold. The role has loosely been described to us as director of word-of-mouth/social-media, and has allegedly been given to a former Fleishman-Hillard SVP of Digital Communications. We're not sure which.

We've contacted both Fleishman Hillard (a PR firm) and Razorfish but the agencies declined to give a name. Can't ever be sure why with these things, but we thought you should know Razorfish is stepping into that pool. Our best Googling returned only males, and all other indications point to a female.

So who is this mystery person and why has it been so hard to learn her name? Not important, but Razorfish has a social media department. And a patented tool (patent pending!) to measure social media. Our social media is a solid 8 inches. That was a penis joke.

Also, if anyone knows who stole Shiv Singh's signed social media book from Picasso, please burn it. I mean return it.

Also also, a colleague points out that there's a hint of irony to a story about a woman whose new role is word of mouth related, whose employment we learned about through the very same method but couldn't get a word from anyone's mouth about her name. Expect a spash in PRWeek or AdAge post haste.

Update: PRNewser reveals that the new hire is Cristina Lawrence.

More: "Shiv Singh's Wise Words On Social Media"

-Saatchi & Saatchi NY named AOR for Mead Johnson in the U.S. link

-Leo Burnett will offer pro bono agency services to small business owners who win "The Leos". link

-My big thrashed Greek wedding comes courtesy of Heineken. link

-Digitas puts Ellen DeGeneres in a GMC Terrain. link

-Fox unleashes a branding bonanza for Avatar. link

-Google proposes FDA-friendly online pharma ads. link

-AT&T, BK and Volvo are all buying into New Moon mania. link

-Intel kicks off a digital e-card holiday campaign. link

-Question mark suit guy Matthew Lesko starts an anti-advertising campaign. link

-Seatvertising commences. link

-NYC & Company launched a "hyperlocal, fully experiential holiday campaign. link

More: "Wednesday Odds and Ends"

Effective January 4, 2010, current Ogilvy NY Chairman/Ogilvy North America CEO Carla Hendra will assume the post of Global Chairman of the agency's new Global Strategy & Innovation practice. According to the announce, the new unit was specifically built "to offer clients multidisciplinary strategic services that combine creativity with rigorous effectiveness."

At her new post, Hendra, who's been with Ogilvy for 14 years, will report directly to Global CEO Miles Young. In a statement, Young says, "Clients fundamentally want insights and ideas that accelerate their brands and business, and it is our goal to deliver on both superbly. As Ogilvy's primary driver of digital services, as well as founder of our strategic consulting business, Carla is the perfect candidate to advance innovation around the globe."

More: "Ogilvy Launches Big Apple Bike Share Program"

TBWA\Chiat\Day's Jason Nichols directed this spot for Movember, the only month when it's acceptable to be a total bum and grow your dirtiest stache. Why? Because prostate cancer will kill your ass (heh).

Here's another, where one of the dudes goes "they got nothin' on this prostate" — a line that should be added to the annals (heh, again) of history.

Via AdsOfTheWorld

More: "Everywhere, Mustache"

When R/GA lost the Digital AOR Amp business, the next question on everyone's mind was, naturally, where will the work land. We've got an inside line on the pitch, and our sources tell us Tribal DDB has taken Digital AOR status for this Pepsi brand.

The last work anyone saw from the brand was the iPhone app "Amp Up Before You Score" — a contentious piece of technology from R/GA that despite getting client approval cost the agency lots of brownie points. It's not surprise then that given that PR fiasco the brand was quick to choose a new agency of record.

Other contenders included Proximity BBDO, Evolution Bureau and possibly Red Interactive, though we've yet to confirm that.

More: "Breaking: BBDO Detroit to Close Doors Jan. 29th"

Our original item about BBDO Detroit closing provoked a deluge of comments, debates and slagging as we expected. But one of the more intriguing comments to stick out from the maelstrom came from someone appropriately calling themselves "read this..." who touched on the severance issue affecting the agency's soon-to-be former employees. The commenter, who is either directly familiar with the issue or has been boning up on his/her employment law says:

"...Few current employees will be receiving ANY severance pay at the end of the contract. Hiding behind the rules of WARN, the Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act, BBDO is cruelly denying any severance to employees with less than 13 years of full service. They can legally do this because they have notified employees of the intent to close the agency 11 weeks ahead of the closure, instead of the 8 week minimum required by the law. Had they waited three more weeks, a larger percentage of employees would've received a severance. This sleight of hand was promoted as 'a moral obligation to give our people as much notice as possible to plan for their futures.'

"Of course, BBDO is not legally precluded from offering additional severance to all the current employees who have worked above and beyond the call of duty during the last 12 months, including all who took an unpaid furlough. They've just chosen not to reward those people for their sacrifices and loyalty. That an agency the size of BBDO and a network the size of Omnicom can so callously leave their 'valued employees' without as much as a week's severance says more about the leadership than any quotes from the PR flacks ever could."

We checked the WARN fact sheet and here's what it says with respect to mass layoffs:

"A covered employer must give notice if there is to be a mass layoff which does not result from a plant closing, but which will result in an employment loss at the employment site during any 30-day period for 500 or more employees, or for 50-499 employees if they make up at least 33% of the employer's active workforce. Again, this does not count employees who have worked less than 6 months in the last 12 months or employees who work an average of less than 20 hours a week for that employer. These latter groups, however, are entitled to notice."

Anyhow, PR has responded with the following statement regarding severance:

"We are closing the BBDO Detroit office and have made the decision to give our people as much notice as we can so that they can plan for their futures. We are going to find jobs for as many of them as we can within BBDO Worldwide and Omnicom agencies. We are providing outplacement counseling, and we will be flexible so that they can attend interviews. By doing it in this way, no one will receive less money than if they had been laid off without this notice. In fact, 263 people will receive more money, and everyone will also receive two extra months of healthcare for themselves and their families that they would not otherwise have had."

More: "BBDO, Chrysler to Call it a Day in 2010?"

What's been talked about for months will soon come to fruition as AOL plans to offer a voluntary buyout program to as many as 2,500 employees starting December 4th and through December 11th. The program coincides with the the one-time online giant's Dec. 9th spinoff from Time Warner, which acquired AOL in 2001 but could never really make it flourish as an ad-driven unit. If the buyout program doesn't work to achieve the layoff quota, involuntary cuts will be necessary according to MarketWatch.

In an email to employees which was obtained by Dow Jones Newswires, CEO Tim Armstrong said his decision to forgo his 7-figure bonus this year "...is a personal one and is not a sign for the future payout of the overall bonus plan for employees."

More: "Leo Burnett Wins AOL"

Despite being a regular blight on the right, Rachel Maddow seems to have a friend in hockey mom/former governor/author Sarah Palin. The latter's new Going Rogue tome, already a classic to the Matt Drudges of the world, got some lengthy promotion in between segments on last night's The Rachel Maddow Show.

To be fair, though, the ad, which you can see on Gawker, seems to be more about conservative rag Newsmax--"the Highlights of conservative news magazines" as the site puts it. Still, like the Mac takeover of PCMag.com from the other day, the Maddow/Palin juxtaposition seems just as bizarre considering the former VP candidate is a regular Maddow target (i.e. above) and was even made fun of on last night's show itself as Gawker points out. Now the debate remains whether Maddow was even aware of this or not.

Update: An MSNBC spokesperson tells us, "Newsmax didn't advertise nationally on The Rachel Maddow Show. Some commercial time is reserved for local cable operators, who sell the time themselves."

More: "Levi Johnson Accepts Fleshbot Award for 'Sexy Achievements'"

Perhaps taking a cue from rival Burger King's new "pimp my restaurant" strategy, McDonald's is the latest fast-food chain to wax trendy, sleek, contemporary, what have you. A McDonald's in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood has said oui to a Euro-flavored makeover, complete with Danish modern furniture that isn't bolted to the floor, flat-screen TVs, free-WiFi and employees dressed in all-black uniforms.

It's all part of an "urban redesign" intended to "give our customers more of a reason to make McDonald's a destination", Mickey D's spokeswoman Danya Proud tells the AP. The chain is basically adopting the designs that have already been implemented in thousands of its outlets in France and the U.K. But despite all the fancy garnishing, the menu sadly remains the same.

Image

More: "McDonald's Loses Trademark Case Against Small Malaysian Restaurant"

Say what you will about BBDO's troubles in Detroit and whatever other locales, but the agency still seems to be garnering kudos in spite of it all. Following its third Network of the Year prize at Cannes, BBDO was once again named the "Most Awarded Agency Network in the World" by The Gunn Report. This marks the fourth year in a row that BBDO has been ranked #1 and the seventh time in Gunn's 11-year history according to the announce. Among the most awarded agencies in the fold were Almap BBDO, Brazil (#2), BBDO New York (#7) and AMV BBDO, London (#9).

BBDO wasn't alone in the winners circle, though. DDB London was named the Most Awarded Advertising Agency in the World, the third time the UK office received such honors.

More: "BBDO Does the Senior Staff Shuffle"

AT&T lost its first legal argument against Verizon Wireless, a blow that was only made worse when juxtaposed with their first rebuttal advertisement — an ad that more or less falls flat compared to Verizon's campaign.

Hoping to get Verizon's ads stricken from the airwaves, AT&T filed a restraining order — but an Atlanta judge turned down the request. It's just the first step in AT&T's legal battle, which hopes to prove that Verizon caused irreparable damage with ads claiming that AT&T's 3G network is lacking.

AT&T doesn't refute those claims, rather states that their competitor has confused consumers into thinking the 3G map shown represents the slower EDGE or GPR networks, which are used for basic services like calls and texts. Verizon has since modified the spots to clarify they're referring to 3G.

Maybe the most poignant move on Verizon's part came in their legal rebuttal, a 53-page document, stating AT&T is suing "because it doesn't want to face the truth about its network," reports CNET.

In what appears to be an attempt to counter Verizon's "There's a Map for That" campaign, AT&T has produced its own spot using actor Luke Wilson. A chubby-faced Wilson stands in front of a chalk board containing a checklist of features available to AT&T customers. He then asks which provider (AT&T or Verizon) has a certain feature, and puts an "X" next to the "better" company. Unsurprisingly, Verizon's only win is for "Name that starts with letter v."

"Hey, they got one," says Wilson. Here's what you get with AT&T:

1. "Nation's fastest 3G network"

2. "Talk and Surf at the same time"

3. "Access to over 100,000 apps"

Well Verizon's ads take care of number 1, since being fastest doesn't help when service is spotty. The second claim is easily defeated: think about the last time you spoke on the phone and surfed the Web — handy at times, but ultimately it's hard to pay attention to both at once. Also, the iPhone can't run multiple applications at once, a feature users seem to find more appealing. And who has the time to look through 100,000 apps?

That this is all AT&T could muster indicates the provider was not ready for such an attack, despite the fact that a major qualm among iPhone customers is the provider's 3G network (and has been for years). They've had more than enough time to both beef up their network, an effort that has likely been hampered by the high costs associated with the iPhone. For example, AT&T pays Apple not only for exclusive rights to the device but also every time a new customer buys one. Meanwhile Verizon has strengthened its 3G network while awaiting a competitive smart phone. And now they have three: HTC's Droid Eris, HTC's Imagio and Motorola's Droid.

More: "AT&T to Verizon: 'There's a Lawsuit for That'"