Brands

What's been talked about for months will soon come to fruition as AOL plans to offer a voluntary buyout program to as many as 2,500 employees starting December 4th and through December 11th. The program coincides with the the one-time online giant's Dec. 9th spinoff from Time Warner, which acquired AOL in 2001 but could never really make it flourish as an ad-driven unit. If the buyout program doesn't work to achieve the layoff quota, involuntary cuts will be necessary according to MarketWatch.

In an email to employees which was obtained by Dow Jones Newswires, CEO Tim Armstrong said his decision to forgo his 7-figure bonus this year "...is a personal one and is not a sign for the future payout of the overall bonus plan for employees."

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Perhaps taking a cue from rival Burger King's new "pimp my restaurant" strategy, McDonald's is the latest fast-food chain to wax trendy, sleek, contemporary, what have you. A McDonald's in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood has said oui to a Euro-flavored makeover, complete with Danish modern furniture that isn't bolted to the floor, flat-screen TVs, free-WiFi and employees dressed in all-black uniforms.

It's all part of an "urban redesign" intended to "give our customers more of a reason to make McDonald's a destination", Mickey D's spokeswoman Danya Proud tells the AP. The chain is basically adopting the designs that have already been implemented in thousands of its outlets in France and the U.K. But despite all the fancy garnishing, the menu sadly remains the same.

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It's come down to a point where Verizon and AT&T are now squabbling like bitter lovers. After getting slapped with a lawsuit by its rival, which was then amended, Verizon has responded to AT&T in a court filing obtained by ZDnet which includes the following:

"AT&T did not file this lawsuit because Verizon's 'There's A Map For That' advertisements are untrue; AT&T sued because Verizon's ads are true and the truth hurts...AT&T now is attempting to silence Verizon's ads that include maps graphically depicting the geographic reach of AT&T's 3G network as compared to Verizon's own 3G network because AT&T does not like the truthful picture painted by that comparison.

And there's this icing-on-the-cake statement:

"AT&T seeks emergency relief because Verizon's side-by-side, apples-to-apples comparison of its own 3G coverage with AT&T's confirms what the marketplace has been saying for months: AT&T failed to invest adequately in the necessary infrastructure to expand its 3G coverage to support its growth in smartphone business, and the usefulness of its service to smartphone users has suffered accordingly. AT&T may not like the message that the ads send, but this Court should reject its efforts to silence the messenger."

If you've got time to kill, you can read the full court filing in PDF here.

Via Mashable

More: "There's a Map for That"

The irony blares like a thousand suns on PCMag.com today, where a MAC banner comfortably sits alongside the content and touts the tagline, "Make the ultimate upgrade. To Mac." While we'd like to think this is the result of an unholy alliance forged behind closed doors, we'll just chalk it up to a pretty shrewd media buy.

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If they aren't taking their lumps from Apple execs, then they're getting stung by another arch-nemesis like Google.

In an interview with ZDNet Asia, Dave Girouard, president of Google's enterprise division, basically says Microsoft Office will go the way of Pauly Shore and be rendered obsolete in a year's time.

Girouard like many others are firm believers in open formats and say proprietary ones like the kind Microsoft offers will have less appeal to firms. While Girouard admits that Google Docs is much less mature and Office is never truly going to go extinct, he says that Docs will have a "point of capacity" that should be enough to entice people to make the switch.

According to Read Write Enterprise though, "Microsoft still has a huge lead and its Sharepoint product is really the future for Microsoft's place in the enterprise."

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Mix a sultry spokeswoman, a buff dude, a dash of noir and, um, a household cleaning product and you have a new campaign for Pine-Sol via DDB San Fran. The spot "Visitor" launched a week or so ago, but the New York Times now takes a look at how men doing housework basically equates to porn for women as Brandfreak says. "What we were trying to do is play on the fantasy of perfume ads...We certainly made the choice to have it be a man and fulfill a fantasy, but it's not a comment on the societal pattern of men cleaning in the house," Pine-Sol brand manager Hank Mercier tells the NYT.

Though the brand says the ads aren't intended to tell men that Pine-Sol will help them get the ladies, maybe they're being a little too metaphorical with its wood-buffing qualities.

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Speaking at the Ernst & Young Strategic Growth Forum today, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said basically that McDonald's McCafe launch lit a fire under his company's ass and made the mega-chain better.

According to Reuters, Schultz, who regained control of Starbucks early last year, told the crowd that because the McCafe ad blitz prompted people to compare products between the two corporate giants, Starbucks actually gained ground. Starbucks' shuttering of 900 stores and cutting other costs has apparently contributed to the chain raising its financial forecasts for 2010. But it's probably too early to tell if Via sales played any significant role in this "year-long turnaround."

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This summer marked, for AgencySpy, one of the worst campaign names we can remember, for Corona. The beloved beer's agency Periera & O'Dell went with, "Summerbration" to celebrate "90 days, 90 reasons to drink Corona." Good idea, terrible name. At the time, we called the branding "fucktastically shitteous". What we didn't, nay, couldn't have known at the time (unless someone had told us) was that part of the campaign included a Corona ice cream day. It was June 8th, and no one friggin told us. Ack!

The dessert, called "Corona with Lime" is allegedly tasty, and although it's not planned for retail sale, we've heard we may be able to get our mitts on a pint. Oh please ice cream gods, bestow upon us the gift of your glorious beerscream, for consumption during Battlestar Galactica. So say we all.

Update: We're getting some of this stuff tomorrow. Will report back then, with stomach ache.

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It didn't take too long for Apple to rain on Microsoft's parade (again). Having already distracted us from the Windows 7 launch day with the "Broken Promises" spot, Apple is now poo-pooing Microsoft's retail stores, the first of which opened in Scottsdale, AZ last month. Apple's VP of Retail Ron Johnson simply responded, "It's nice to have a 10-year head start." A good burn, sheer gloating or jealousy blossoming? You be the judge.

Via Gizmodo

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Those stealth bombing Droid ads have nothing on this spot for the Nokia N900 (shipping this month) that builds to its spastic, twitchy and quite cool climax after the 2-minute mark. If this were the real effect the mobile brand's new phone has on your system, you might want to proceed with caution.

Via BFfB and Engadget

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