Without taking too much of your valuable time, I want to share some memorable comments from ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel's speech at the upfronts yesterday.

"By deciding on their fall schedule in April, Mr. Kimmel said, 'NBC got such a head start, they've already had time to cancel half their schedule.'"

"Returning to ABC's advertisers, Mr. Kimmel said, 'Next year on 'Grey's Anatomy,' your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.'"

"Let's get real here. Let's get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We're going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more."

"Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don't need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients."

"Next year on 'Grey's Anatomy,' your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay."

"I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do. I don't, really."

"The important thing to remember is: who cares, it's not your money."

"In closing, Mr. Kimmel said, 'I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do.' He paused. 'I don't, really.'"

There's more here and here.

More: "R.I.P The Upfronts"