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No Wukkas: MARC USA is Great Regardless of Skin Color, Other Shallow Things

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In what may be the most poorly written job posting, ever, today we bring you a MARC USA sr. copywriter listing (which a spy sent us!). It calls for a copywriter who can “write better Headlines than this” and “has some long copy and body copy in [his/her] bag of tricks to”. Also, in case you were worried, MARC USA maintains “a work environment where you can do great work regardless of the color of your skin or any other shallow reason that might have you feeling discriminated upon!!!” We added some notes.

“The Pittsburgh office of MARC USA is hiring a Senior Copywriter. [First mistake, Pittsburgh]

Clearly though, you’ll write much more than headlines though. So you should have some long copy and body copy in your bag of tricks too. [Usually though, things aren't clear unless you make them clear, though]

While your focus is on the brand work for national brands (broadcast and all forms of print) the environment is totally about integration. [like, totes]. As such, you’re [FAIL] sandbox will also include Interactive, Direct, PR, and any other strategic ways to speak to the consumers. [So like, we're totally integratedable, and junk]

Agency experience is an absolute must. Must have at least five years of copy experience. [Inefficiency! Too many musts and fragmenty sentences. This must be from a former AgencySpy writer]

Please send us your resume and an e-book or a link to your online portfolio[There's nothing wrong with this, but f*ck your couch]:

https://tbe.taleo.net/NA1/ats/careers/requisition.jsp?org=MARCUSA&cws=1&rid=73

MARC USA is proud of our commitment to maintaining a work environment where you can do great work regardless of the color of your skin or any other shallow reason that might have you feeling discriminated upon!!! Please also let me know if this sentence is grammatically correct.” [Well, that one sentence is correct. You know what? The whole thing is a work of art.]

Here’s hoping there are other copywriter jobs in Pittsburgh because we feel bad for whoever has to deal with this. Click here for the listing.

More:No Wukkas: Y&R San Francisco

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