No Wukkas - The Job Hunt

If a million Starbucks, a few clouds, neighbors like Microsoft and benefits such as pet insurance sound enticing, Publicis West in Seattle is looking for a Brand Planner to work on the T-Mobile account. Description via Craigslist below:

"Who You Are.

You have a solid background in Account Planning, having worked for 3-5 years in a planning department at a creatively-driven agency. You know the basics of how to write a creative brief and you've worked directly with clients and creative teams in the development of advertising. You have a passion for the planning discipline and possess a natural curiosity in people and culture. You are smart, articulate and are willing to roll up your sleeves and pitch in wherever needed. Perhaps most importantly, you're a self-starter with an affable personality and a good sense of humor!

Optional, but important, we're looking for candidates with experience working on brands that are a natural part of youth culture and/or a person with a deep understanding of social media, from both a user's and marketer's perspective.

The Job.

-You'll be...supporting two planning directors in the development of major campaigns, and work more autonomously as the lead planner on several exciting and high-profile assignments (new device launches, sports sponsorships, and the like.) You'll touch everything from up-front information gathering, strategic development and ideation, creative development through to campaign effectiveness assessment.

-You'll spearhead a quarterly consumer and cultural trends presentation given to agency staff, supported by two junior-level planners.

-In addition, this position will be an important go-to member of the new business team when we're pitching new business."

More: "No Wukkas: Draftfcb West Needs a GCD"

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See, there are totally jobs out there. Today: DraftFCB West seeks group creative director (on Krop of all places) to "champion groundbreaking ideas across all channels on our PG&E and Del Monte accounts". Read: kick ass, take names, eat cereal. This is a San Francisco gig, so pack up your patchouli and hemp sandals before applying.

"Our ideal Group Creative Director is a proven visionary, a results oriented thought leader, a diplomat and an inspiring human being. You are interested in working on a socially responsible account and also have the business acumen and intellect to partner with very bright package goods clients. You must have extensive experience in and passion for all media platforms: traditional, direct, CRM, digital and social."

Salary: One million dollars. Just kidding: commensurate with experience.

More: "No Wukkas: Whipple Needs a Good Squeeze"

Luke Sullivan is the man who wrote "Hey Whipple, Squeeze This" — a book that's widely considered among the top how-to-advertise guides of our time. Sullivan is also part of the lead creative group at GSD&M, and as you can see from an earlier Tweet, he needs a mid-level writer. Just don't suck, OK, because he will pay you no mind. No mind!

More: "GSD&M Elevates Luke Sullivan, David Crawford, Greg Lane to Lead Creative Dept."

Do you have passion for ideas and the creative process, a natural ability to lead, make things happen, instigate change, challenge the status quo; tons of common sense? Are you a real thinker, very curious and in need of a job? Then DraftFCB Chicago might be the right job for you — if, that is, you can do all this:

— Oversee Media Planners and Assistants help mentor and develop their skills and recommend appropriate training

— Oversee daily project workflow and progress of subordinate projects, pulling in Associate Director on key decisions

— Lead on account, offline, and client contact

— Manage team deadlines for all projects as well as planning timelines to ensure creative team needs are being met

— Understand clients business/goals and communicate them to the team

— Follow, embrace, challenge, and apply digital trends as appropriate

— Guarantee media plans fulfill goals and plan parameters

— Ensure plan strategies are founded upon solid research and consumer insights

— Thorough understanding of syndicated online research tools available and when/how to leverage their abilities

— Oversee team negotiations while taking lead on mining cross-platform efficiencies

— Address success metrics in all plans including associated costs

— Give final approval on client billings and reports

— Give final approval on internal and/or client point-of-view documents

— Keeper of existing work and responsible for converting it to functional case studies

— Liaise with appropriate media partners on a regular basis to keep abreast of changes/opportunities for clients

Click here for more info.

-If El Segundo, CA sounds like home to you, David&Goliath, via a post on Ihaveanidea, is looking for a Junior to Mid-Level Digital Copywriter.

"Car experience is a must."

You can apply to Rebecca Halusic at: rebecca.halusic@dng.com

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After finding its "fantastic" mid/senior level copywriter (we assume), El Segundo, CA-based agency David&Goliath needs a little something more via a post on Ihaveanidea:

"David&Goliath is looking for a Sr. Digital Art Director. Creative Suite is a must, After Effects and Flash desirable. Looking for candidates with some big brand experience as well." Branding geniuses can send portfolio links to Rebecca.Halusic@dng.com"

-Crispin is looking for an executive integrated producer. The spiel reads as follows:

"CP+B is seeking a highly knowledgeable and innovative Executive Integrated Producer, with an interactive focus, who knows how to make it happen. Someone who is driven to create and manage best-in-industry interactive content and experiences, mentor and direct teams of producers, oversee account operations and production standards, cultivate and maintain strong relationships with creatives, and are passionate about the space from Web to gaming to mobile and film. This person must also be creative, solutions-driven and organized to ensure high quality work is delivered on time in an extremely fast-paced environment. Industry expertise at a recognized agency or client-side experience is a must.

Key tasks include project planning (goals, budget, schedule, and scope), oversight of interactive project development, group operations management, agency retainer contracts, process and resource management, and participation in the strategic development of brand-however in order to succeed in this position, this person should also have working knowledge of live action shoots, talent issues and licensing technologies. The candidate needs to be capable of respectful, strong working relationships with internal team(s) (from production to content management to developers to the creatives on a project) as well as external partners and development vendors. In order to better communicate with vendors/staff, the candidate must also be proficient with Web technologies such as Flash, Silverlight, HTML, Java, Ajax, FTP, server setups and video compression. He/she should also have an understanding of the capabilities and limitations of graphics programs such as Photoshop, Illustrator, and Freehand. Candidate should be proficient with project management programs such as Visio, MS Project, FastTrack, and PMX, and have strong written and oral skills.

Candidate must have 8-12 years of experience and be capable of leading large-scale integrated and interactive projects (budgets ranging from $500,000 to $2,000,000) and teams on Fortune 500 accounts and should be award-recognized. He/she should expect to juggle multiple projects and clients, and should have a desire to create the best interactive experiences in the world. Compensation is commensurate with experience. Project documentation samples are required (SOW and Project Plan).

The "killer" package also includes "competitive salaries, relocation package, excellent benefits (Health, dental, 401k, etc) and a very unique company culture." Apply here.

-If you're a digital AD and feel a little chilly weather might be fortuitous, Cossette Atlantic in Halifax, Nova Scotia is looking for you. Once again, cheers to Rafik at IHaI...

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In what may be the most poorly written job posting, ever, today we bring you a MARC USA sr. copywriter listing (which a spy sent us!). It calls for a copywriter who can "write better Headlines than this" and "has some long copy and body copy in [his/her] bag of tricks to". Also, in case you were worried, MARC USA maintains "a work environment where you can do great work regardless of the color of your skin or any other shallow reason that might have you feeling discriminated upon!!!" We added some notes.

"The Pittsburgh office of MARC USA is hiring a Senior Copywriter. [First mistake, Pittsburgh]

Clearly though, you'll write much more than headlines though. So you should have some long copy and body copy in your bag of tricks too. [Usually though, things aren't clear unless you make them clear, though]

While your focus is on the brand work for national brands (broadcast and all forms of print) the environment is totally about integration. [like, totes]. As such, you're [FAIL] sandbox will also include Interactive, Direct, PR, and any other strategic ways to speak to the consumers. [So like, we're totally integratedable, and junk]

Agency experience is an absolute must. Must have at least five years of copy experience. [Inefficiency! Too many musts and fragmenty sentences. This must be from a former AgencySpy writer]

Please send us your resume and an e-book or a link to your online portfolio[There's nothing wrong with this, but f*ck your couch]:

https://tbe.taleo.net/NA1/ats/careers/requisition.jsp?org=MARCUSA&cws=1&rid=73

MARC USA is proud of our commitment to maintaining a work environment where you can do great work regardless of the color of your skin or any other shallow reason that might have you feeling discriminated upon!!! Please also let me know if this sentence is grammatically correct." [Well, that one sentence is correct. You know what? The whole thing is a work of art.]

Here's hoping there are other copywriter jobs in Pittsburgh because we feel bad for whoever has to deal with this. Click here for the listing.

More: "No Wukkas: Y&R San Francisco"

-Y&R's Bay Area operation is seeking the perfect (or almost perfect) creative to fill a role at their "understaffed" office. The ad from Creative Hotlist reads as follows:

Description:
We're hiring a creative. No capital there. We're not hiring your department, your title, your position on the org chart. We're hiring your talent, your experience, your savvy.

People who have directed art, written copy, and solved business problems creatively...that's who we're looking for to be a part of our understaffed, madly brilliant team.

The perfect candidate:
-3-6 years as a creative for an ad shop
-Digital. Obviously.
-Broadcast. Check.
-Food, soda, tech. All of 'em.
-Radio. (Really?) Yeah, I've done it.
-Opinionated.
-Resourceful.
-Disruptive.

The almost perfect candidate:
-Most of the above.

You can apply directly on the Creative Hotlist site here.

More: "No Wukkas: We Need an Intern (ugh)"

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The last time we posted this position we tried to make it clear that you have to be in college and able to receive credits if you want to be an intern here. Other than that, the only requirements are as follows:

— Did we mention you have to be in college and able to receive credits as "payment"? There's no hourly, stipend etc. Just college credit.

— Don't be faceless like current-but-leaving-soon intern ryan.

— You don't have to be an advertising major, a creative hopeful, a journalism major etc. Faceless intern Ryan is an Econ major/English minor. Just be able to get stuff done, mmk?

— Send your resume, but honestly as an intern you won't have anything to show for it so spend more time on the test.

— You must be able to successfully complete our little test, which will be explained later.

— We want you for like, 3 days a week, but that sh*t is negotiable. We swear, this is a legit, professional thing. No filing, ever. Coffee runs are not your job.

— Your job will be explained in more detail if you get the interview. As an intern, expect to do any number of random things associated with running a blog, its video production department, et al.

— You have to be easy going, super Web savvy (dare we say, super-duper?) meaning you know a bit of HTML and a little about what's going on in advertising. If you're reading this blog, you're ahead of where Ryan was.

— You must be able to come into the office and work. As for the interview, that can be worked out (say, if you're not going to be here for another week or something).

— You must be able to write: this is the test. Find some advertising-related story from anywhere (just not here) and put together a post, including either an image or a video. Make it 300-500 words and make it fun. If we don't giggle at least once, you fail. Trust your gut.

— Email agencyspy at gmail dot com with a PDF version of your story. We need someone asap and this kid Ralph Lee is already working on something, so hurry hurry!

Here's some examples of what Ryan's done while here.

— Intern Insights: American Sports Leagues Consider Advertising on Jerseys (Plus Editor's Notes)

— Intern Insights: Wheaties Rebrands Towards Men (Uh, What?)

— The Week in Advertising: Romance, Cheap Dates, MadMen v. MadAve and the "Sorry" of All Times

— The Week in Advertising: Kids on the Juice, MadMen v. Mad Ave (Part 2) and a Fauxprosal

— The Week in Advertising: Condoms, Orgasms and Ryan Hits the Streets

Good luck. And big apologies to Colin Murphy, current Campfire intern. We thought he'd for sure be our next intern but it didn't work out. He wears bow ties and knows a sh*t ton, which would make him an awesome asset to pretty much any agency that gives-a-care (remember that phrase!?) about the futures. Hire him.

As my grade school gym teacher, Mr. Wellen, used to say before letting us at each other for some foam-ball-related game, "goooo get em."

— GSD&M Idea City needs a new business director coordinator. link

— JWT Inside wants a mid-level healthcare copywriter. link

— Graphic Designers who think they're worth $20-25 an hour should click here.

— Senior Art Director types with pharma backgrounds should call up Harrison Star. link

— Deep Focus seeks media coordinator. link

— Cole Weber United needs a connections planner/media supervisor. link

— Are you a Freelance CE Media Expert? Dentsu Communications calls you. link