In case you haven't been in a check out line for that past week, you have missed the headlines screaming from the celebrity rags about R&B singer Rihanna. Here's the brief: allegedly, her boyfriend and pop star Chris Brown took a few swings at her. In these cases, when you've clearly fucked up, you need two things - a good lawyer and fantastic PR man. So, who you gonna call?

According to Fox News columnist Roger Friedman, Brown has hired PR svengali Michael Sitrick who charges upwards of $700 per hour. Sitrick's previous clients include other celebs who have gotten themselves into the shit - Rush Limbaugh during his prescription drug addiction scandal; Halle Berry when she had that whole hit and run thing; Naomi Campbell after she beat up her maid for like, the third time and our very own Julie Roehm during her pay for play/sex scandal with Wal-Mart.

Where the hell did Roehmn get that kind of cash to pay for Sitrick? And really, he didn't do that good of job. Sure, Roehmn now has her own consultancy called /Meta. Meta can be used to denote a change in position (i.e. metamorphosis) or to indicate a concept which is an abstraction from another concept, used to complete or add to the latter. The lady is not stupid, despite what they may say. She selected a good name if she plans on operating professionally in the next few years. Still, if I was Julie, I'd be asking for my cash back from Sitrick. The press tarred and feathered her for months on end and she occasionally still makes the rounds. Um, like right now.

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