What The...?

If you're Apple, Microsoft, etc., you might want to take advantage of pooing on this Google-branded toilet paper. While the Mountain Valley, CA giant hasn't said anything, Engadget offers a slogan that seems lost in translation: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!"

Via HuffPo

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Nothing like blasphemy in the morning, eh? This little girl's argument for the rejection of Christ is a convincing one, but a little weak when it comes to the logic factor. Both Christ and Bacon promise something we perceive as happiness. The former wants you to have forever-happiness (but the faith part means there's no guarantee) whereas with bacon, you get your pay-off immediately. It's a toss up.

As an aside, I happened to catch part of Arnold Schwarzenegger's "End of Days" last night, so I'm a little scared right now.

Via BuzzFeed

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It seems Microsoft is just dying to give rivals like Apple some more fuel for the fire. This little end of day gift features Microsoft Store employees in Mission Viejo breaking out into some lethargic sorta electric slide/achy breaky shuffle hybrid to the amusement of no one but themselves it appears. If you're up for a little self-torture, see if you can make it through the entire 4 minute, 44-second run.

Via Consumerist and Engadget

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Vegas strip club Deja Vu employs three-windowed truck to haul strippers around town and lure pedestrians back to their lair.

That pretty much explains it.

Via AdFreak

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Since I was cracking up from the ridiculous verbal warfare between two "camel toe hiding" underwear designers on yesterday's Howard Stern show, I overlooked the fact that one of them is apparently Treger Strasberg, the wife of Doner CCO Rob Strasberg (thanks to tipsters for the heads up).

Treger you see has a product called CamelAmmo and she had it out with a woman named Shannon, who called it in to promote a rival product called KamelFlage. Here's the rundown from Howard Stern's official site: "Treger went on the offensive, saying 'She's not actually trademarked. She's lying about it...you might have applied for your trademark, but you don't have your trademark.' Shannon countered that she'd actually patented a specific product: 'I have a patent for an insert sewn into the actual panties." Treger snapped: 'You don't have a patent. We have a patent.'"

Treger (pictured here) was so adamant about showing off CamelAmmo that she called from a downstairs cafe, convinced Howard and the gang to let her up in the studio and eventually ticked everyone off from the sound of it. Treger to her credit though didn't ride the Sybian as a promise to her hubby. Way to put your foot down, Rob.

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Sometimes in the normal process of life, we (as in, everyone including you) notice little occurrences that are unfortunate, awkward. Whether it's a poorly timed announcement regarding senior executive payouts or an awkwardly placed story about a marketing magnate, these little ditties make the world go round. We begin with Omnicom.

Scenario 1
Yesterday word spread of the BBDO Detroit's impending demise. The agency's relationship with Chrysler mid-dissolution, BBDO and Omnicom had a choice to make, and that decision leaves Detroit with one fewer major ad agency as of January 29, 2010. Just a week earlier, the Wall Street Journal reported that pensions for executives appear to be on the rise. Included are BBDO Worldwide CEO Andrew Robertson, who according to BNET's reporting, will take home $2.5 million plus $425,000 annually for 15 years if he is terminated "for cause". Is 'losing Chrysler' qualification enough? If I'm sitting in Detroit, brooding about where to move my family, I'm thinking "fuck. this."

Scenario 2
The second of our scenarios is less nefarious, but pinpoints something about traditional media and marketing and how we rank these things. To see this one you need nothing more than this week's print edition of AdAge.

Headlining the glossy is Hyundai, which the publication made 'Marketer of the Year,' and for good reason. Hyundai has made gains in the automotive landscape thanks in part to Goodby and making the right play at the right time. We're speaking of course about the Hyundai Assurance Program, which when tied with a marketing push aimed at elevating the once-sold-on-price brand to a luxury competitor (though it's not really there yet), has helped the brand grow leaps and bounds.

A story directly beneath 'Hyundai', entitled 'GM, Kellogg, Nestlé beat to the tweet as squatters take over Twitter names' delves into the issue of brand hijacking on Twitter. The lead tells an anecdote pertaining to one particular brand that's having issues obtaining rights to its Twitter namesake: Hyundai. Seems @Hyundai belongs to someone else, and Twitter has been withholding as far as giving the name back to Hyundai is concerned.

Though Twitter is just one aspect of the marketing landscape, and though we would never suggest AdAge withdraw Hyundai from the running, it's worth noting the rather odd placement of this story. It falls into the "one of those things" categories that means absolutely nothing. Well, it means Hyundai and Goodby weren't proactive in the four years that Twitter has been marginally well-known.

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Grocery chain Safeway really knows how to hit the nail get a message across with sales on chocolate chip cookies and such that were obviously blessed by our Savior.

Via AdFreak and Denver Egotist

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DM9DDB in Sao Paulo is responsible for this ad touting the size of Whirlpool's Brastemp BOC 90, which is apparently "the biggest oven ever" according to the copy. A hippo and a whale we guess serve as easy metaphors to point out the appliance's massive size. Judging by the apple in the mouth, you can basically sum up their fate in an ad that could possibly piss off some animal rights folks.

Via Animal New York

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AdFreak found a story about a Utah McDonald's that called the police after teens rapped their order (impressive!) just like they do in them commercials. Apparently, the McDonald's employee was unnerved by the teens' behavior, and they were subsequently cited with disorderly conduct. Um, yeah.

Via AdFreak

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