What The...?

Google Takes Care of Your Bum

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If you're Apple, Microsoft, etc., you might want to take advantage of pooing on this Google-branded toilet paper. While the Mountain Valley, CA giant hasn't said anything, Engadget offers a slogan that seems lost in translation: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!"

Via HuffPo

More: "Rupert Murdoch Wants to Boycott the Digital Newsstand"

The Bacon of Christ

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Nothing like blasphemy in the morning, eh? This little girl's argument for the rejection of Christ is a convincing one, but a little weak when it comes to the logic factor. Both Christ and Bacon promise something we perceive as happiness. The former wants you to have forever-happiness (but the faith part means there's no guarantee) whereas with bacon, you get your pay-off immediately. It's a toss up.

As an aside, I happened to catch part of Arnold Schwarzenegger's "End of Days" last night, so I'm a little scared right now.

Via BuzzFeed

More: "KFC Creates Sandwich Stoners Everywhere Invented Years Ago"

Microsoft Reduces Store Employees to Dancing Fools

It seems Microsoft is just dying to give rivals like Apple some more fuel for the fire. This little end of day gift features Microsoft Store employees in Mission Viejo breaking out into some lethargic sorta electric slide/achy breaky shuffle hybrid to the amusement of no one but themselves it appears. If you're up for a little self-torture, see if you can make it through the entire 4 minute, 44-second run.

Via Consumerist and Engadget

More: "Apple Scoffs at Microsoft Yet Again"

Sexvertising: Strippers on Wheels

Vegas strip club Deja Vu employs three-windowed truck to haul strippers around town and lure pedestrians back to their lair.

Poo Explosion

That pretty much explains it.

Via AdFreak

More: "The New GM Ad: Poop"

Doner CCO's Wife Causes a Stir on Howard Stern

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Since I was cracking up from the ridiculous verbal warfare between two "camel toe hiding" underwear designers on yesterday's Howard Stern show, I overlooked the fact that one of them is apparently Treger Strasberg, the wife of Doner CCO Rob Strasberg (thanks to tipsters for the heads up).

Treger you see has a product called CamelAmmo and she had it out with a woman named Shannon, who called it in to promote a rival product called KamelFlage. Here's the rundown from Howard Stern's official site: "Treger went on the offensive, saying 'She's not actually trademarked. She's lying about it...you might have applied for your trademark, but you don't have your trademark.' Shannon countered that she'd actually patented a specific product: 'I have a patent for an insert sewn into the actual panties." Treger snapped: 'You don't have a patent. We have a patent.'"

Treger (pictured here) was so adamant about showing off CamelAmmo that she called from a downstairs cafe, convinced Howard and the gang to let her up in the studio and eventually ticked everyone off from the sound of it. Treger to her credit though didn't ride the Sybian as a promise to her hubby. Way to put your foot down, Rob.

More: "Erase Your Sexual Exploits (Rub-It)"

AdAge/BBDO's Unfortunate Timing/Placement Scenarios

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Sometimes in the normal process of life, we (as in, everyone including you) notice little occurrences that are unfortunate, awkward. Whether it's a poorly timed announcement regarding senior executive payouts or an awkwardly placed story about a marketing magnate, these little ditties make the world go round. We begin with Omnicom.

Scenario 1
Yesterday word spread of the BBDO Detroit's impending demise. The agency's relationship with Chrysler mid-dissolution, BBDO and Omnicom had a choice to make, and that decision leaves Detroit with one fewer major ad agency as of January 29, 2010. Just a week earlier, the Wall Street Journal reported that pensions for executives appear to be on the rise. Included are BBDO Worldwide CEO Andrew Robertson, who according to BNET's reporting, will take home $2.5 million plus $425,000 annually for 15 years if he is terminated "for cause". Is 'losing Chrysler' qualification enough? If I'm sitting in Detroit, brooding about where to move my family, I'm thinking "fuck. this."

Scenario 2
The second of our scenarios is less nefarious, but pinpoints something about traditional media and marketing and how we rank these things. To see this one you need nothing more than this week's print edition of AdAge.

Headlining the glossy is Hyundai, which the publication made 'Marketer of the Year,' and for good reason. Hyundai has made gains in the automotive landscape thanks in part to Goodby and making the right play at the right time. We're speaking of course about the Hyundai Assurance Program, which when tied with a marketing push aimed at elevating the once-sold-on-price brand to a luxury competitor (though it's not really there yet), has helped the brand grow leaps and bounds.

A story directly beneath 'Hyundai', entitled 'GM, Kellogg, Nestlé beat to the tweet as squatters take over Twitter names' delves into the issue of brand hijacking on Twitter. The lead tells an anecdote pertaining to one particular brand that's having issues obtaining rights to its Twitter namesake: Hyundai. Seems @Hyundai belongs to someone else, and Twitter has been withholding as far as giving the name back to Hyundai is concerned.

Though Twitter is just one aspect of the marketing landscape, and though we would never suggest AdAge withdraw Hyundai from the running, it's worth noting the rather odd placement of this story. It falls into the "one of those things" categories that means absolutely nothing. Well, it means Hyundai and Goodby weren't proactive in the four years that Twitter has been marginally well-known.

More: Things That Will Make You Go 'Hunh?'

The Passion of the Easter Specials

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Grocery chain Safeway really knows how to hit the nail get a message across with sales on chocolate chip cookies and such that were obviously blessed by our Savior.

Via AdFreak and Denver Egotist

More: "The Death of (Direct)TV Means the Resurrection of Jesus, Heath, JFK"

Hippo, Whale Serve as Ill-Fated Metaphors for "Biggest Oven Ever"

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DM9DDB in Sao Paulo is responsible for this ad touting the size of Whirlpool's Brastemp BOC 90, which is apparently "the biggest oven ever" according to the copy. A hippo and a whale we guess serve as easy metaphors to point out the appliance's massive size. Judging by the apple in the mouth, you can basically sum up their fate in an ad that could possibly piss off some animal rights folks.

Via Animal New York

More: "Effective or Offensive: WWF and 9/11"

Utah McDonald's Calls Cops on for Teens Rapping Their Order

AdFreak found a story about a Utah McDonald's that called the police after teens rapped their order (impressive!) just like they do in them commercials. Apparently, the McDonald's employee was unnerved by the teens' behavior, and they were subsequently cited with disorderly conduct. Um, yeah.

Via AdFreak

More: "McDonald's Loses Trademark Case Against Small Malaysian Restaurant"

Previously

Video: Industry Jumps Shark, Puts Ads on Flies (No, Seriously)

Egyptian Ad Moguls Can Be a Bit Sensitive

Golden Kiss Mayo Wants to Do Things to You

It's Nearly Time to Save an Hour

Craigslist Ad Gives Star Wars Nerds Everywhere a Bad Name

25 Facebook Ads That Will Make You Spit

Advertising Gets Lost in its Own Deep, O-face Inducing Orgasm

PC Richards Tops Quaker for Unfortunate Ad Placement

More Ralph Lauren: Two Girls (Who Could Fit Into) One Skirt

Ralph Lauren Canned Photoshopped Model for Being "Overweight"

Pepsi's 'Amp Up Before You Score' App Degrades and Helps

Ralph Lauren Gets a Bit Overzealous with Photoshop

This Exercise Machine is Like Your Dad's Favorite Western

Erase Your Sexual Exploits (Rub-it!)

Barely Legal Paralegal, A Hardcore Musical

New York Loves Showing The Effects of Smoking

How to Throw a Windows 7 Party: Step 1 - Shoot Self in Face

Advertising Week Icons: Moisty the Snowcone

Tel Aviv Agency's Marketing Idea Will Likely Get You Shot

Facebook's Advertising Week Party is 'Off the Record' - Um, What?

America's New Pastime: Laughing at the Poor (aka everyone)

ShamWow Guy Finds Ideal PR Flack for Career Revival

Creepy Campaigns for Kids

Steve Jobs Falls Victim to Sadistic Ad Placement

Couple Uses Wedding to Promote Peta, Denounce Horse-Drawn Carriages

International Show (Advertising!) Finds Excuse for NSFWiest ad, Ever

MMS is Coming to the iPhone

Not-So-Clever "Got Milk?" Parody Prompts Lawsuit

Fake Ad, The Video

Effective or Offensive: WWF and 9/11

Neiman Group Takes Subtle Swing at Own Client?

Denver Egotist: "the pickle ad we'd all like to do, but never would"

UNICEF's Direct Mail Effort is Still Flawed

Shamevertising: Cheating Husband Brought to Awesome Justice

The Tenga Flip Hole: a Sanitary Device for Your Male Masturbation Needs

Microsoft De-Blackifies Ad for the Polish

Jim Edwards Puts Mad Men Daydreams to Words (Again)

KFC Creates Sandwich Stoners Everywhere Invented Years Ago

Berlin Games Schtupped by Insipid Motto

Yes, Lemonade Looks "Stunning"

Spotify Will Fail, Says Sarcasticy Sattirist Loren Feldman

If You Make a YouTube Video, You Could Get a Job* in This "Advertising" Business

Peta's Latest Poster Makes Little to No Sense

This Lend America Ad Stole TWIA's Intro Music

Cocks Invade Rome, Paris, Berlin and London

Target Ad Awfully Derivative of Oren Lavie's "Animated in Bed"

Perfect Fools Feign Rat Pack in Sponsored Vegas Retreat

The Shake Weight; Cut Those Lady Wings, Learn a New Trade

Sassy Young'un Breathes New Life Into Bingo's Old-man Mouth

AT&T Picks Stupid Fight with 4Chan

Mick Jagger's 17 Year Old Daughter Half-Nude in Hudson Jeans Campaign

Bad Ad Placement: Twix and the Smoking Baby

Moonvertising Could Create Eyesores For Thousands of Years to Come

The Info TechCrunch Has on Twitter Will Change All Reporting on the Subject

Craigslist Ad of the Day: Delusional Finance Guy Asks for What All Men Want, Live-in Eye Candy

Fayetville Ads Ruffle Feathers of "Fat", "Odious" Folk Everywhere

Dear Advertising, Please Stop Inventing Stupid Words Like "Summerbration"

Blind Item: Which Agency Fired an Employee for Masturbating at his Desk?

I Don't Understand Cleaning Product Marketing

Crazed Ad Exec Kidnaps Ex, Commits Arson

Current Media Puts Twitter RFP on Hold: But What Will We Talk About Now?

Craigslist Ad of the Day: Poleriders, Poledancing on a Bike

Cankles, It's What's for Dinner

House Rules: You Can't Speak to AgencySpy

Copy Conundrums: BK's New Ad Hints at Fellatio

This 16 Year Old Dude Lost His P, Now Has a Va-G

Gary Vaynerchuk Will Dance for You

Oh Dear Lord, Vox Media's "Viral" is Pooperrific

WTF McDonald's?

Goodbye, DKNY (Sign in NYC)

Hunh. Here's One of Those Fake Tru Blood Ads

Remember That Sex Tape We Leaked? Now it's a Short Film!

Kids These Days: a Cover Letter to Crispin

Curious Tips, it's Time We Mentioned Thee

DKNY's Iconic Soho "Mural" Replaced by Hollister

The Conversation Should be About Trust

It's Gout Awareness Day, Apparently

Gawker's Blood Copy Campaign is a Messy McPieface

Bacardi Thru the Ages

Cheapotle: The Denver Egotist Sticks it to Chipotle, Hard

Comments. WTF

Playboy + Quizno's = 2 Girls 1 Sub

First Adamo, Now Della

Tiny Penis? ANA is on Your Side

I Have a Bad Case of Diarrhea

Microsoft Office 2010 Teaser Trailer

The Race to 5,000

Oh, Oh My.

BaAd Placement

Following AgencySpy Into the Depths of Hell

Monday Incidentals

Copy Conundrums: It's Like a Fireman Came in Your Mouth

That Bomb Scare Lady is Counter-suing Jet Blue for $50 Mil

White Castle and the Ill-timed Pulled Pork Promo

This Advertising Apprenticeship Sounds Crap-tastic!

Who's Laughing About Swine Flu?

Oxy-morons: Hummer Takes Stab at Green Marketing

New Message Amsterdam's Brutally Bad Print Ad

Evolution of the Addie

Addie Uses Facebook to Bust Drunken Thief

Read more on AgencySpy >

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