They're funny.

The Situation Room is the gift that keeps on giving.

National Journal's "Wake Up Call!" spots this gem from Jack Cafferty, the man Wolf Blitzer turns to when he:

a.) Wants readers to feel a little bit dirty and uncomfortable
b.) Is waiting for technicians to fix Wall Television #5
c.) Feels that he needs to look small and innocent (standing near Jack Cafferty will humble anyone...even Wolf).

Said Jack:

"Gay has been around now for a long time"

(and, yes, it's much more fun leaving it out of context)

From today's vice presidential remarks to the National Restaurant Association (a.k.a. The Other NRA):

Dick Cheney: ".... I'm delighted to be here this afternoon. I want to thank Craig for those words. And I'm pleased to have the opportunity to welcome all of you to Washington. I saw Bob Novak on the way out. It's always easy to follow Novak; he's so depressing, he leaves everybody -- (Laughter.) So I got to do that for years. (Laughter.)"

Cheney has an interesting way of trailing off just before he says something interesting....

Anderson, Geraldo, Shepard, the lot of you: You've been spared. (Okay, everyone besides CNN's Carol Costello and Chad Myers who get ridiculed in the Moment of Zen)

Last night's verdict from King Stewart:

"The news media--normally I have much to say about the news media--I have to tell you: the news media's spine, their emotional coverage, their bravery, I thought those things were vestigial, things that were from a past, that you know, the mic was just there for no reason. I used to work at bar...called the Bottom Half in New Jersey. There was a fat guy there who was an alcoholic...and he just sat there, drinking and being fat. And one day, someone tried to break into his car in the parking lot. And we told him and he got up and ran out there and beat two people with a tire iron. And I remember thinking: Holy shit! That guy can move! I had no idea he could move! That's how I feel about the media. They are to be commended."

DCist today might have the quote of the day, proving that there's a reason most criminals get caught: They're stupid.

The exchange from the Post today:

One man walked by and asked Shieder [a police officer] whether his dog would bite. "No, he sniffs," Shieder said.

"Can he sniff drugs?" the man asked, smiling nervously.

"No, just explosives," Shieder replied.

"Whew, that's good," said the man, who declined to give his name and walked away quickly, clutching his pocket.

Wolf Blitzer to former President Bill Clinton on this afternoon's "The Situation Room," when the latter accused the former of trying to get him to make news: "That's my job. I'm a newsman. That's what I try to do, is make news. And you try to avoid news, that's your job."

> Wonkgirl has other sitroom follies.

From today's Ask the Post chat with Nancy McKeon, business features editor:

Question: "Did you ever think of hiring Nunyo Demasio from the sports section? Then, he could answer the phone 'Nunyo, business section.'"

As the press corps settles into the hot hell of Crawford duty during the Texas summer, the Washington Times picks up an amusing exchange from Monday's White House press briefing:

MR. McCLELLAN: Now, Ambassador Bolton is someone who has sometimes used a blunt style, but he is someone who brings passion and experience and a results-oriented approach to the position. That's exactly the kind of person we need at the United Nations during this time of war and time of reform. And that's why the President nominated him to be the ambassador.

Q: And the President is a pretty plain-spoken guy, as well, so why don't we be -- why don't you be a little bit more blunt here. (Laughter.) Does, in fact --

MR. McCLELLAN: I try to be diplomatic with you all.

MSNBC's Chris Matthews, talking last night following the President's speech about the Iraqi insurgency:

"Is it these IUDs? Not IUDs. Different topic. IEDs."

"Nothing like getting whacked with a co-worker's old, dirty fingernail." -- WP's Amy Joyce

We could tell you the context for this quote from a WashingtonPost.com chat today, but that would make it less interesting.